To have just sent a kid home?

[selfidentifyinggiraffe]

I feel a bit embarrassed and not sure if I need to apologise to the parents or if actually it was entirely reasonable

Child misbehaved several times and refused to apologise... I just marched them home to a very stunned parent

Sent my own straight to bed too

I'm not usually the most stern person which I think is why the parent looked so shocked, they were polite and made child apologise

I would have had child till about 8 latest otherwise

They're both 6

Do I need to explain further and apologise or should I just be glad the evening is over?

Honestly, if it was my child I think I’d be glad you didn’t let him get away with something I (presumably) didn’t want him doing at home. And (while mortified) secretly grateful the misbehaviour happened at yours not mine 😆

I once marched a child home a lot sooner than seven o' clock. I didn't feel bad at all although suspect his dm thought I was an ogre. I'm pretty relaxed about most things but being told to fuck off by an eight year old was way past my tolerance levels.

Well they probably won’t misbehave next time they visit your house! You warned of the consequences and followed through - that’s fine imo.

Fine, you warned them about the behaviour, and followed through. Good on you, I would be fine if I were the parent. They are 6, and need to know boundaries now.

Good for you OP. I had to do the same thing years ago after my daughter and her friend -partner in crime- were terrorising the whole estate. Brought them in first and they were so awful I took friend home. It didn't happen again.

What's done is done, don't worry about it.

Maybe for next time think about if you could have handled it differently and avoided the loggerheads situation that meant you had to follow through on the threat.

aw they are six cut them some slack don't be that parent

If there were an eye rolling smilie, then this would be the time to use it.

The trouble is, you cut a 6 year old slack and then suddenly they're 10, 12, 15.. and refusing to behave and treating people like shit.

It really depends on how serious what they were doing was. I have once don't this when a dc kicked one of our pets.

YANBU at all.
Bad behaviour has consequences
You didn't hit them, shout at them, or embarrass them, you just calmly followed through on what you said you would do. Perfect discipline. Both DCs will have learned from this. As long as other Mum doesn't take her child out to compensate for their 'hurt and disappointment' then the other DC might learn an important lesson - do not mess about at someone else's house, or refuse to apologise for it if you are asked to.
It takes a village......

how harsh cloudyweewee

but i guess it does boil down to what they child did, ime just being kind and telling the kid that the behaviour is not nice is enough, sending home is vv harsh

A jolt to their little world at 6 and realising that when you say something you mean it, is no bad thing for the future.
An issue at many primary schools at the moment is the poor behaviour of the pupils, who do not seem to recognise rules or that they are expected to behave at school. So to me there a lot of parents who need to recognise that when you let your children get away with poor behaviour at home, it does potentially have consequences at school and elsewhere.

For me it depends what the child did. If they were being dangerous and causing harm to others then fine. If they were just being silly and being loud then you were unreasonable .

I wouldn't ask someone elses child to apologise. I think the whole apologising thing goes too far. Its not the be all and end all.
I did take a child home once for dangerous behaviour but l didn't bother wasting any effort on getting him to apologise. Its not my job to rear him. I just couldn't be responsible for him.
He took off his seatbelt and opened the car door while l was travelling.

OP you did the right thing, if you say there will consequences if you do/ don't do X, then don't follow through, imo it just becomes an empty threat.

the primary school mental health issue will not be solved by well meaning parents sending kids home when they misbehave but i don't think the op is talking about such extreme cases somehow.

I once sent a kid home, about the same age. He'd been invited to my DS' birthday party and punched the birthday boy in the mouth, giving him a split lip. His mum came knocking on the door about ten minutes later. I thought she'd come to apologise, but she'd actually come to complain. I sent her away with a flea in her ear! So no, you were not U.

She was rude as well as badly behaved. I'd have been mortified if she was my child. You did the right thing. She had plenty of warnings and then you followed through and sent her home. You also disciplined your own child which is entirely fair.

I preferred parents who were able to say " nope not in my house" to children.

I would have made my child apologize and then reminded them next time they went to behave.

It’s hard to tell but I think you did the right thing and sent your own child a good message.
Repeatedly misbehaving and refusing to apologise, time to go home. It’s implementin great boundaries.

If my child was marched home then you can be damn sure I'd be siding with you OP. Kids should be brought up to respect other house rules.

YANBU, but I agree with posters saying 8pm was too late as a time for a play date to end.

No it wasn't loud... didn't endanger anyone but themselves

Did make me think what am I meant to tell the parents if they end up in hospital and feel rather terrified about being responsible for them if they could ignore me and do it anyway when they were told prior to doing it that under no circumstance were they to do that

And then my own was being a brat at the time making it even harder to deal with the other (which is why mine was told to get straight to bed after taking them home and not even think about the play date continuing)

Hands up though they probably were both tired... (the lateness was due to an activity and managing childcare between a friend and myself but another parent I was told by this time was home who I returned them to)

At least it was with a friends child... who appears to be in agreement it was right tonight

The way i read it, this child has been trying it out again and again. Until they did something dangerous.
When asked to apologised, they refused AGAIN.
Seeing that it wasn’t the first time they were told off, you weren’t too strict or over reacting.

The mum is happy with the way you handled things.

Stop overthinking and have a relaxing evening to recover

If the issue was that they wer iver tired then even more reason to take back home btw.
A tired child should be in bed.

Op from your update you were not unreasonable at all .