AIBU? Am I being a bad host?

[Greenbeanmcgee]

A friend who lives on the other side of the country is going to be staying with me for a few days. I'm looking forward to it but she wants to attend church on the Sunday. That isn't a problem at all. I said that I'd have a nice lunch ready for her when she returns but she wants me to attend and won't stop asking.

I really don't want to go. I'm an Atheist and have no desire to attend church unless it's necessary. Also her particular style of church makes me extremely uncomfortable. Just a personal preference.
I could also use the time to get some work done.

So AIBU?

No you are not being a bad host. She is being unreasonable in not letting this drop when you have made your feelings clear.

YANBU I think she is BU to ask you to attend and to be honest she could give church a miss one week when she is visiting someone.

YANBU! Why is she being so pushy?

You are not being unreasonable at all. She is being a cow. Tell her very clearly you will not be going to church and this is the last time you will discuss it. If she doesn't like it she can stay with someone else.

Nope yadnbu shes being quite rude actually.

I'd say "thanks but I'd rather not attend church with you, due to my own beliefs"

If she continues to ask just "no, thank you" will be enough. Repeat as necessary.

Tbh though if she kept on I'd definitely not be inviting her again.

It's rude of her to insist. Tell her no.

YANBU at all but perhaps she doesn't want to go on her own.
Is there anyone you might know who goes to that particular church who could sit with her or welcome her there?
It shouldn't really be needed because IME people generally are very welcoming indeed when newcomers turn up at their church, but maybe she's very shy.
Or shut down the discussion by saying it would make you very uncomfortable and even unhappy to go as you would feel like a total hypocrite.
Just a thought -- is she by any chance trying to convert you? Awkward.

I'd go personally. 700% atheist but if it was something a good mate wanted to do then I'd just chalk it up as an experience, especially if it's some kind of fundamentalist nonsense

Stick to your guns. I am religious and might well want to attend a church service when staying with friends but there’s no way I would expect them to attend with me.

Be firm with her ‘ I have already made plans for that morning so please stop asking me’. She is being very rude IMO.

She’s being rude.

And I say that as someone who attends church every Sunday.

Definitely don't go.
You are NBU at all.
You need to tell her your respect her beliefs so she should respect yours.
Ask her why she feels the need to pressurise you.... Is she trying to make you 'find God'... I hate that religion is pushed by some people.

Just so that I'm not dripfeeding . I don't think that she knows anyone who attends the particular church but it's part of a 'chain' and she attends one of the sister churches in her city on the other side of the country, so while I'm not sure that she'll know anyone it should feel very familiar to her.

I have no problem at all with her leaving for a few hours to attend but I am extremely uncomfortable with her particular church. beyond any issues I have with attending church generally.

I'd be honest and politely but firmly say that of course she's more than welcome to go but your own personal views mean that you won't be able to come with her. If she tries to convince you then say that it really isn't a big deal if you don't come and it's up to her if she wants to go alone or not, why doesn't she see how she feels on the day.

YANBU, she is. I'm guessing she's a Jehovah's Witness?

YADNBU. You are entitled to your beliefs just as she is to hers. How would she feel if you asked her to miss church so you could read some Darwin together?

Which church does she go to?

She isn't a Jehovah's Witness. The Church is Destiny Church.

She sounds like an almighty (🤣) pain in the arse. If she hasn’t arrived yet, I would get a case of d&vpretty sharpish.

YANBU.

I respect people's view regarding religion, I have no desire to share them and I certainly wouldn't go against my own to suit a pushy religious friend.

YANBU. Either she must respect your religious beliefs or you'll have to pull the work card.

Or stop engaging in that conversation, change the subject every time.

You are not being unreasonable in the slightest, or a bad host. She is being unreasonable, and rude in not respecting her host's stance and beliefs, and trying to foist hers upon you.

Personally I'd be saying that I was not prepared to discuss the matter any further, the subject is closed. And very firmly change the subject each and every time she persists.

I have a friend who is a member of this Church. We agree to disagree and I don't even let her take my DC with her DC on their many party / indoctrination events. It has taken about 10 years of digging my heels in for her to accept my position but in all other respects we get on famously.

YANBU and in any case some built in downtime is good for everyone with house guests.

YANBU she is rude to expect that you as a host should also share her religious beliefs!

I had to Google that to even know what that church was. Never heard of it.

Is she trying to sign you up or something? You aren't stopping her from going, that's up to her,but she can't force you. She's being a rude guest.

She's trying to cajole you into going to a Pentecostal Fundamentalist church, knowing you are an atheist? Is she secretly hoping you will fall to your knees and find Jesus while you are there, weeping tears of rapturous joy?

Just keep saying no, no, no.

I would be particularly uncomfortable about attending jehovah witness church, I think they like to try and convert people.