AIBU?
My body is ruined...
CharlieBeanti · 31/10/2018 14:53
9 days PP. Suffering greatly due to hormones and feeling very 'blue' so please bear with me and understand that I may not be speaking 100% sense/logically.
I loved my body before my baby. Washboard stomach, nice boobs, toned and confident. I now have a 'jelly belly' that I can't see ever looking nice again as it is covered in stretch marks. My boobs are huge, nipples look ridiculous and again covered in deep stretch marks. I have stretch marks on my bum and thighs. Cellulite popped up everywhere even though my weight gain was within normal/recommended. My hair is falling out already, I have piles, I have blotches and dark patches all over my skin.
I've gone from feeling incredibly beautiful as a pregnant woman, to feeling highly unattractive as a mother.
Please help. I feel like I'm spiralling from normal low mood after pregnancy to PND.
My body should be the last of my worries but I'm utterly sad about it...
Will I ever look okay again? Is it possible? Or will I always look like a stretch mark covered wobbly person?
CharlieBeanti · 31/10/2018 14:58
Really mourning my pregnant body. Just went to look at swimsuits on ASOS and saw a maternity one. Just burst in to tears. I feel so sad.
frostywalkshotchocolate1 · 31/10/2018 15:02
It's gets better! Stretch marks will fake slightly the blotchyness will go and your massive nipples will shrink! I think by week 6 I started to feel normal again, your boobs will never be the same but you will learn to love them once they settle! My DD is 2
PerryPerryThePlatypus · 31/10/2018 15:03
You are 9 days PP. 9 days since your body went through one of the most incredible things. It needs time to recover. Your uterus is still swollen, your breasts are producing milk and it probably feels like everywhere is leaking. Please don't worry about how you look right now, most women look pretty awful 9 days post birth.
53rdWay · 31/10/2018 15:04
You had a baby 9 days ago! Please don’t be afraid that your body will look like this forever, it really really won’t.
You do sound like you’re having a tough time here and your brain might be dumping all your broader stress and worries about this transition in your life into the “body is different and weird now” category. I think you’re right to spot that this is spiralling from normal low mood to PND. Do you have anyone you can speak to - health visitor, midwives maybe if you’re only 9 days after birth, GP? Or even just partner and friends and family, although it’s definitely worth flagging with the professionals so they can help sooner rather than later.
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 31/10/2018 15:06
You know you just had a baby OP? As hard as it can be, try look at what an amazing thing your body just achieved. Trust me your body will come back, not overnight but slowly everything goes back into place.
Your hormones are all over the place, if you feel yourself feeling more and more low do speak to your Health Visitor/ GP and Partner, get all the support you can.
MrsTerryPratchett · 31/10/2018 15:06
Your body just did something truly amazing. It grew a new human being. You can't expect it to spring back into shape immediately.
When I've completed a long run, I feel great. The next day I'm sore, hobbling around, nursing blisters and feel like an old lady. I feel better but it takes time. That's you right now. Give yourself time.
Pursefirst · 31/10/2018 15:06
Darling, with all respect, you have JUST had a baby and you are likely still in the WTF have I done fog. This is your hormones talking and while it's difficult to ignore them, please just treat yourself kindly for the next few weeks and let your body recover 
CharlieBeanti · 31/10/2018 15:07
I can't stop crying. I love my baby so much but I feel so sad.
frostywalkshotchocolate1 · 31/10/2018 15:10
@CharlieBeanti I cried for probably the first 2 weeks but maybe mention it to your HV
IStandWithPosie · 31/10/2018 15:10
Your body will heal and repair. This is incredibly early days.
And also, you can do everything you did before, and more, without looking good. Honestly, looks aren’t the be all and end all. You will still raise your baby, go to work, have relationships, enjoy life without firm abs.
CharlieBeanti · 31/10/2018 15:11
@frostywalkshotchocolate1 did you feel like it would never get better? I'm so scared about everything. My body, protecting my son, wanting him to stay small forever, what I'm going to do when he's bigger and no longer has this lovely newborn smell. I'm a mess. I wish I could just enjoy this...
mybumpismostlypudding · 31/10/2018 15:12
Oh bless you! It's only been nine days, go easy on yourself! Things will get better ❤️
SLL · 31/10/2018 15:13
Aw bless you, big hugs, your feelings are very normal, baby blues or not. Your body just did an amazing thing, it carried and nurtured a whole new person for the last 9 months, give it, and yourself a pat on the back, not harsh words! Your body will probably bounce back, but it will take time and maybe a bit of effort down the line when you are recovered.
And even if it doesn't, go and look at your beautiful baby, right now, give him / her a little snuggle and realise that what you have made is way more important than a washboard stomach... Once the baby blues have gone away you will feel differently. More big hugs for you, amazing lady!
TeddybearBaby · 31/10/2018 15:13
You’ll be fine I promise! You’re knackered now and hormonal and overwhelmed I bet! In time you’ll feel good again 💐
Girlwiththearabstrap · 31/10/2018 15:14
It is such early days! Your body and mind are still healing from a very big ordeal, and you'll be so tired still.
Are you seeing your midwife soon? Tell them how you're feeling. Tearfulness and emotional instability can be a normal part of post natal life but you're right to be mindful of it and do speak to someone about it - whether that's the GP, health visitor or midwife.
Don't be sad about your body. It won't look the same today, but you will regain strength and your stomach will shrink. It also did a great job growing your baby!
WineGummyBear · 31/10/2018 15:18
I felt like that OP. Like my body was utterly ruined forever.
But it's not. You just did something amazing! Truly amazing. And now your wonderful body needs some time to heal and become strong again.
I cried and cried at the wreck (horrible piles included). Gradually your body will be restored and you will feel strong and beautiful again.
CharlieBeanti · 31/10/2018 15:18
Thanks everyone. I just want these baby blues to go away. I feel like it is stealing precious moments from me, and in turn I worry that I'll miss this newborn stage intensely as I was never able to enjoy it, because of these awful emotions.
Talith · 31/10/2018 15:21
You're body has just done something amazing and it does physically knock the stuffing out of us for a while and psychologically it's a tremendously huge thing to to assimilate. Things will settle and heal and those enormous boobs will shrink and you may well get your washboard stomach back. I became much fitter after kids and have gone from wobbly and sore to pretty much the way I was before. It just takes time.
And if its any comfort the newborn phase for me was a panicky shattered stage so you're normal not to be serenely calm - I would consider it weird not to be a bit freaked out at everything. You grew a baby and now you're a mother. It's mind-blowing!
You'll get into a few routines and things should settle. Definitely talk to your midwife. X
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DollyTots · 31/10/2018 15:22
Try and take pride in what your body has done for you. It's beautiful in that it's so strong and has kept you both safe, that's amazing! I know it doesn't help that part of our self-esteem that misses what we think we should have but give it time. Establish what will heal & change with time and then self-care that will make you feel better in yourself.
I can now only laugh at the massive stretch marks left at the top of my ass crack (and only there oddly) that I didn't notice for about 4 months pp. My DH didn't even mention it!
DonDrapersOldFashioned · 31/10/2018 15:27
No one really talks to you about the body image stuff you go through post partum. I think partly because it’s seen as somehow vain and shallow when you should be enjoying your new baby and celebrating the amazing thing your body has just done.
Your body has done something amazing and your baby is a little miracle but you aren’t shallow, vain or silly to be shocked by the physical aftermath of pregnancy and birth on your body. It can massively change the way our bodies look and how we feel about them as a result. Other posters are right, it is early days and some of the more ‘raw’ aspects will soften and fade. You can regain your toned shape in time, if it’s what you want. Have a chat with your midwife and your DP/DH about how you’re feeling.
Congratulations on your baby, OP
RowenaDedalus · 31/10/2018 15:27
I totally feel you OP as I had my baby two weeks ago and I am a total lump. Huge wobbly stretch marked belly/overhang. Cellulite everywhere. Saggy boobs. Wearing size 20 when I was a size 10-12.
Everyone tells me it will come off and it’s too soon to be miserable about it. I keep trying to remember that my body created this wonderful little life and I should be grateful and proud that it was able to do so. It is sad, though, to not have any pictures of me and my newborn because I look so awful.
KeysHairbandNotepad · 31/10/2018 15:28
You body isn't ruined. It'll heal and repair. Yes , you'll look different , but in ways that you'll accept.
Good luck talking to your midwife or HV.
Congratulations on your beautiful new baby.
Sarahjconnor · 31/10/2018 15:28
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