My body is ruined...

[CharlieBeanti]

9 days PP. Suffering greatly due to hormones and feeling very 'blue' so please bear with me and understand that I may not be speaking 100% sense/logically.

I loved my body before my baby. Washboard stomach, nice boobs, toned and confident. I now have a 'jelly belly' that I can't see ever looking nice again as it is covered in stretch marks. My boobs are huge, nipples look ridiculous and again covered in deep stretch marks. I have stretch marks on my bum and thighs. Cellulite popped up everywhere even though my weight gain was within normal/recommended. My hair is falling out already, I have piles, I have blotches and dark patches all over my skin.

I've gone from feeling incredibly beautiful as a pregnant woman, to feeling highly unattractive as a mother.

Please help. I feel like I'm spiralling from normal low mood after pregnancy to PND.

My body should be the last of my worries but I'm utterly sad about it...

Will I ever look okay again? Is it possible? Or will I always look like a stretch mark covered wobbly person?

Can't think of anything to say except to nod and acknowledge.

I "lost some time" (which is what you fear) with ds2 - in the emotional sense - due to illness/babyblues/pnd but fortunately the following stages are just as precious and go on for a long time. I can remember telling him "it's ok, we got there in the end" when we did our last breastfeed. I think that reconciling yourself to times when things aren't perfect is important but it takes time.

Oh OP, you're a goddess, you just grew and birthed a tiny human!

It's hard to go from being pregnant to not-pregnant in the blink of an eye - it's the most sudden, dramatic change our bodies ever have to go through, and it won't spring back overnight. But you will feel so much better, I promise. Right now, you're feeling battered, bruised and like you've lost yourself in the madness of becoming a mother, and it's all too easy to focus on the stuff that makes you feel terrible. Talk to your midwife and those around you to make you feel better - you're far from alone.

Sending love and hugs at this amazing but terrifying time.

OK deep breath.

I understand that it can take up to 6 months for your uterus to shrink back to previous size. You're still healing and it takes a while for swelling and fluid retention to go. The stretch marks will fade a lot.

Your boobs will shrink, your nipples will go back to normal and the cellulite will disappear (or go back to pre pregnancy levels in my case!)

Look around you at people that have had babies - most of them you can tell in some respects if you look closely...but by and large they look the same as they did before.

Remember your hormones are still all over the place at the moment. It is scary to see how your body has changed and it's easy to become fixated on it, and I know it feels like a lot of it is out of your control

I hope the responses here have made you feel a bit better. If you don't start to feel better about it, it may be a symptom of pnd so please go to the doctor if you still feel like this in a few weeks.

Lastly if you still felt like this after a few years there are things you can do, laser for stretch marks, tummy tuck etc. I'm not saying this because I think you should do it (I don't but it's not my body) but sometimes it's comfort enough knowing that if it came to it, there are options if you ever wanted them

Thanks everyone. I feel like I'm 6 weeks time I'm going to be angry at myself for spending this magical newborn stage being weepy and sad. I should be enjoying it. He's so beautiful.

Oh Lovely, Look at your baby. You did that. That amazing thing.
It took changes over 9 months for your body to make that. I honestly think that expecting it to reverse all those changes in 9 days is a bit optimistic!
Give yourself some time. Enjoy the good bits of motherhood. When you are physically recovered from childbirth you can make a start on getting that washboard stomach back. But for now just enjoy your baby and let the shape of your body go for the time being.

Honestly, it will be fine. If you had washboard abs before, you'll probably be back in your previous clothes in a couple of months.

I certainly didn't have washboard abs before pregnancy (more like a faint two-pack), and I was a. astounded by how big, wobbly and scarred my belly was after birth, and then b. astounded by how much firmer and smaller and faded my stretch marks were about 2 months after birth. It SEEMS impossible that your body could go back to something close to pre-pregnancy, but honestly it does and will.

Get some pretty/sexy high-waisted pants. It'll make you feel a lot better until the tummy goes down. If you were toned before pregnancy you will be absolutely fine. Give it a few weeks and the "you don't look like you were ever pregnant!" comments will start rolling in. 9 days is nothing.

we all go through this. Give yourself a break. Have a cup of tea and snuggle your precious boy. in a few months you can think about getting your figure back if you want, but for now, you need to concentrate on healing your body and nurturing your child

Things will get better but never be the same. I think celeb culture and airbrushing has a lot to do with women being surprised at the post partum changes they experience.

For instance, a doctor can tell if a woman has had a baby, no matter how long ago that was, because of certain changes.

If you had a vaginal birth, the cervix changes from round to oval. Tiny inconsequential scars that have healed on the cervix are permanent.

It's all natural. It has to be borne because it's your only way to have your own baby. It was all worth it, I am sure you know that really.

You are hormonal. Realise that 99% of your thoughts are driven by this. Our bodies change( and not for the better) as we age anyway. None of us as much control over our bodies as we sometimes think.

So in short, we'll all have bodies that have changed in ways we won't like eventually, but at least you have a beautiful child to show for it.

I felt the exact same after just having my son, I was a size 4 before I was pregnant and like you I loved my body. It's now been 5 weeks since I had him and it already it is starting to look a bit more like mine, not the same but better than it was. As you get out of the post baby fog you will start to feel a bit better and realise that your body is amazing and has just done a truly incredible thing. You just grew a whole human inside of you, cut yourself some slack!!xxx

You will get your body back I promise but it does take time. It's easy to say don't worry but its hard especially when you keep comparing to how you used to look and how you feel now. Just give it time, and when you want to cry - cry, let it all out. Sending you a hug!

Let those bastard whoremoans level themselves out and meanwhile be kind to yourself - you have just grown a human!! x

You poor thing. Having a baby is like being hit by a car- you just have to accept that you need time to heal. It’ll get better I promise

I feel like the hormones won't get better. Can anyone convince me they will? I think I would cope better if I just had faith that this really is just the hormones talking...

When you're in it you can't see a way out of it. If you are really worried about PND, please speak to your midwife as soon as you can to discuss.

Oh, honey.

It took 9 months to grow your beautiful baby. 9 months! Give yourself an equal amount of time to get your body back to where you'll be happy.

It's like putting on weight. It takes time to become fat/obese; it happens over months/years. And taking that weight back off will take time, too.

Be patient. Enjoy your baby, eat as healthy as you can, and take your lovely baby out for walks. Your body will slowly start to become your own again ... but give it time to recover and become yours again.

It's normal, I had horrendous stretch marks, they fade in colour over time, I'm not going to lie and say my tum looks good now but it is what it is. My boobs went mostly back to normal but took ages. I suggest that you give yourself a boost, have a nice bath, do Ur make up if you like make up, and hair. Wear something comfy and black. Look after yourself. Eat well, drink plenty cups of tea and relax, it's super early days. Also get outside every day for a walk if possible.

OP - Baby Blues can make pretty much any woman should all over herself, no matter how inappropriately.

Postpartum is a weird time when you no longer have the baby bump - but then you're not the self that you were before the pregnancy so it feels like a completely different body for a while.

Do talk to people. And practise the compassion towards yourself that you'd express to someone else if they told you that they were feeling similarly about themselves.

I feel like I'm 6 weeks time I'm going to be angry at myself for spending this magical newborn stage being weepy and sad. I should be enjoying it.

The important thing right now is to focus on getting better. Don't worry about how you should be reacting, or what might happen in the future. You're not always going to love every moment of being a mum, and that's okay. It's not always what it's cracked up to be. There are going to be times when you're tired or there's something going on in your life and you can't appreciate the good stuff. People go through shit at the most inconvenient times, and it sometimes means that you don't react in the way you're expected to. Don't beat yourself up over it, you've done something life-changing and it's normal to find it hard to adjust to that.

My body doesn't look the way it did before and I think that is true for a lot of people - a photographer took a beautiful set of pictures of women who have had children to show the reality of stretch marks etc (if you get them). Somebody told me it takes 2 years to recover from a pregnancy and that felt true to me- better week by week but after two years I would say I felt completely like my old self even if I don't look exactly the same.

Completely worth it though to have your own child!

Also re: feeling low/PND, please reach out in real life to your support network. I felt awful for the first 2-3 months and can't believe now that I just tried to put a brave face on it. I wish I had shouted from the rooftops that I needed help!

You really have nothing to worry about your body will return. I was told on friday that I couldn't have a breast reconstruction following my mastectomy last year & that was the only thing keeping me going & getting through all the chemo & radiotherapy, I

have to come to terms with the fact I will look like this for the rest of my life. I am devastated.

You have your health & a beautiful baby, you will be fine but it will take time.

I've got stretch-marks, cellulite and saggy tits and I've never been pregnant!

I suspect your mood is colouring your view-point. In fact I'm certain of it. NINE DAYS after giving birth! Angel, please give yourself a break. You're a brand-new Mum coasting on raging hormones. You won't always feel like this and your body will recover. Parenthood is to be envied and some sacrifices are worth it. Enjoy your lovely baby while you can.

This was me after having DD 4 years ago. I remember looking down at my body and feeling sick because it was so horrendous.

Within maybe 5/6 weeks though I looked much more like myself, obviously stretch marks don't go away but they do fade, and whilst your body may not go back to exactly how it was before you'll get used to the slightly altered version.

Your body made a person. It grew a brain and a heart and a full nervous system. Just give it a few weeks 

Can't stop crying... ugh. This is horrid!

Hug - be kind to yourself! You just single handedly GREW an entire human being for 9 months, kept them fed and warm, and then went through a traumatic event - ie giving birth!

Yes, your body will be very different, and probably won't go back to what it was - but it is very early days. Try not to focus on the "negative" changes, enjoy your new baby, and in time your body will feel more like your own again.

That beautiful body of yours went to war to create that beautiful baby your holding. Of course your going to feel ravaged but it’s worth it. Your body will create its own new normal and you will love yourself again

Look at that perfect little boy you made! You can and will get your body back but don’t rush. Your emotions will be all over the place for a bit, you’ve created a life.
If you feel too overwhelmed speak to your hv. Even if they just reassure you it will help.
It does get easier.