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AIBU?

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Original poster

How big to be considered fat?

232 replies

Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 19:15

On the tails of the many threads on fatness / obesity and how bad it’s perceived I have started to wonder how people see me.

I consider myself big-boned (yes I know but I swear I am!) 5.7 tall and a size 14/16.

I don’t think I look fat. I am not slim or skinny but not fat.

I have been a size 12 and people seemed more attracted to me but I was also 20 years younger so not sure being bigger is the only factor to take into account.

AIBU to feel those threads are not for me or Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
I am very active and so quite muscly. Eat healthyly but would need to starve to be the same weight of 20 years ago!

Tell me when do you start considering someone fat?

OP posts:
bringincrazyback · 31/10/2018 12:16

Did you really mean just 8 miles a week That’s just over a mile a day. It’s really not very much exercise.

What an unconstructive and demoralising thing to say. A little over a mile a day is way better than no exercise at all.

I take about that much exercise myself, it's the amount that fits best into my time commitments and I feel healthier for it. We don't all want/need to go at exercise like we're training for a marathon.

OP, to answer your question, you don't sound fat to me.

bringincrazyback · 31/10/2018 12:18

Well, personally I think anything above a size 12 is overweight

Don't be ridiculous. It's no wonder so many people think they're fat with people peddling crap like that.

OhTheRoses · 31/10/2018 12:18

If I stand next to my best friend who is the same height as me, weighs a stone less, and looks fatter, DH will say that my shoulders look twice as wide as hers. She is narrower than me but much bigger in the torso and has cankles. I am broader of beam. When we were both pre dc and 9 stone 25 years ago we were completely different shapes. At 9 stone I often needed at 14 blouse because it pulled across the bust and it was my shoulders taking up the fabric not a massive bosom. My friend at 9 stone would often find a size 10 hung off her shoulders but pulled at the middle. Despite shoulders I am only a 4.5 shoe (5'7") but have a wide foot.

Tigger001 · 31/10/2018 12:36

Surely if you pinch an amount of fat on your body, you know you are fat. What did they used to say can you pinch an inch ?

I think weight can be relative to the person, but actual fat is different. A little Skin hanging around and not toned suggests your are a bit flabby but if you sit down and it hangs over your trousers or squidges out of the bottom or arms of your well fitted bra consider yourself fat I would say.

I have a quite tall friend who has an extremely flat toned stomach but needs a size 14 as she has wide hips, so size of clothes ( defending on the bloody shop also ) or weight should not be the gauge it us your actual body.

And being slim doesn't mean healthy, I am a size 6 ( sometimes that's baggy) If I run up a flight of stairs I hyperventilate however my friend is fat and can do it no probs

SerenDippitty · 31/10/2018 12:43

*Limensoda

I'm 5' 2" and 9 stone 4lb. so a bit overweight but I take size 6 shoes so I'm not a small frame.*

You are not overweight especially if you have a largish frame. The max for your height is 9st 11lb.

Limensoda · 31/10/2018 12:43

Did you really mean just 8 miles a week That’s just over a mile a day. It’s really not very much exercise

Maybe not but it's probably more than many adult people do, especially those who drive even when a shop is half a mile away.

Limensoda · 31/10/2018 12:45

You are not overweight especially if you have a largish frame.The max for your height is 9st 11lb

Really? Thanks SerenDippitty
Nurse said I was at the top end of acceptable BMI?

SerenDippitty · 31/10/2018 12:54

Top end of acceptable BMI is healthy, just as bottom end of acceptable is. I am your height and 9st and not worried.

Someone said something about leg length. I am 5ft 2 and usually need standard length jeans and trousers. Short are too short.

I'm a 6in wrist size 5 shoe so medium build I guess.

SerenDippitty · 31/10/2018 12:55

*frame not build.

Tinty · 31/10/2018 12:57

The old ‘muscle weighs more than fat’ thing again. What weighs more - a tonne of concrete or a tonne of bricks!? hmm. Muscle is denser than fat, it’s not heavier than fat.

Explain to me then how my DD who is 5' and weighs 9 stone and wears tiny size 6 jeans from H&M and has a 24" waist. Compares to me 5' 3" weighs 9 stone and wears size 10 jeans from H&M and has a 27" waist. My DD is tiny up top and wears size 6 tops I would look like Miss Piggy squeezed into the tiny tops she wears. I have a slight muffin top, she doesn't. She looks tiny next to me. She should look bigger she weighs the same and is 3" smaller than me.

The difference I am 40 something and have had two dc, I am much wider across the ribs than I used to be and more chubby. When I lost a stone and got down to the 8 stone that I was before I had children my waist was still 26" instead of the the 23" it was when I was younger. But my breastbones stuck out and I could see all my ribs and my face looked like a sucked in skeleton. My DD does 9 hours of gym plus school sports and two hours of tae kwon do every week. She is tiny but really strong.

NerrSnerr · 31/10/2018 12:58

I'm 5ft1 and currently 10st 5 and a size 12. I feel overweight and sluggish but much better than 6 months ago when I was a stone heavier. Healthy BMI is under 9st 7 for me and I feel better at about 9 stone. The main difference is my bad back improves.

I think some people convince themselves they're a smaller size by wearing stretchy and baggy stuff in smaller sizes. I have a size 8 top which is supposed to be oversized but fits me as a fitted top at the moment. That doesn't make me a size 8 though!!

evilharpy · 31/10/2018 13:06

NerrSnerr I wore a knitted dress yesterday that’s a size 10. I am NOT a size 10 but I think I might start saying I am :D

goingonabearhunt1 · 31/10/2018 13:16

It's true about loose fashions nowadays; I can fit into 4/6 stuff now because some of these dresses seem designed to look like a tent (this was in H&M). I am most definitely not those sizes, prob a size 12 in old sizes but have narrow hips and weight is in middle so fabrics skims over it.

CookPassBabtridge · 31/10/2018 13:22

Frame sizes do vary- I know bones aren't heavier but people can have wide skeleton frames. This is me at 19 stone, obviously can't see my full body but people are shocked I'm carrying that much weight. If I just said in this post that I'm 5ft 7 & 19 stone with no pic attached then you might get a different image in your head! It sounds like you look fine.

How big to be considered fat?
TheWiseWomansFear · 31/10/2018 13:22

@bringincrazyback why? Most people who are a size 14 or over ARE medically overweight...it doesn't mean they're bad people, or disgusting or any of the other things OP said... but they are overweight

user23334444 · 31/10/2018 13:24

CookPassBabtridge

Gosh, you're gorgeous! Cheekbones to die for!

I should post a pic of me. I'm nearly 5ft 11 and 12 stone 10 pounds. I have the fattest chubbiest doughy face you can imagine. Like a bap. No bone structure visible at all.

WAILS!!!! Sad

user23334444 · 31/10/2018 13:24

CookPassBabtridge

Plus you have fantastic taste in sitcoms, I see Wink

TheWiseWomansFear · 31/10/2018 13:29

@user59589098 you wear a size 10 too, but do you wear a size 10 bottom?

Tinty · 31/10/2018 13:29

I have the fattest chubbiest doughy face you can imagine. Like a bap. No bone structure visible at all.

You won't get many wrinkles when you are old though.Halloween Grin

I agree though CookPassBabtridge you look amazing, I can hardly believe you weigh 19 stone.

user23334444 · 31/10/2018 13:31

You won't get many wrinkles when you are old though

True that, it's a comfort! I am older (50 this year) and my skin is still good and fairly wrinkle-free if I don't smile, stretched to full capacity as it is Grin

user59589098 · 31/10/2018 13:41

@TheWiseWomansFear

Well, you see, it changes depending on brand.

For instance today, I am wearing a Size 12 cord jean. I am not Size 12 - my hips are 42 inches Shock

Even if I were smaller-hipped the Size 12 of today is bigger than the Size 12 of old. Plus, it's rare to find jeans without some measure of stretch in the material.

On Ebay, I see listing for vintage clothes warning buyers that vintage sizes are smaller. It is definitely a thing, this vanity sizing.

ElectricMonkey · 31/10/2018 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shitonthebloodything · 31/10/2018 13:58

"6st 5lbs is the bottom range for a someone who is 4ft10. That is very short for a grown woman. The average 11 year old girl is 4ft 10 apparently. So I don't think it's that ridiculous?"

Bottom of the healthy range apparently. I can assure you that my body shape is nothing remotely comparable to an average 11 yr old girl even at my skinniest. If I were 6st 5 I would be gaunt, bony and very far from healthy. You simply cannot make comparisons based solely on height for anyone not of average height, it is ridiculous and I'd go as far as to say that weight is pretty dangerous for someone to use as a target.

Avegemitesandwich · 31/10/2018 15:08

CookPassBabtridge wow you are gorgeous and no way look 19stone, I had to re read that several time!

It is strange how people carry weight differently. If I put on a few pounds my face just balloons and I totally get that doughy moon face with piggy eyes and about 50 chins! And yet I see plus size models and people like Cook who might be much bigger than me but still have beautiful cheekbones and a gorgeous jawline, I don't get it!

Lizzie48 · 31/10/2018 15:21

There's no doubt that sizes today are bigger than previously. I have some of my old sizes 10 and 12 work outfits in my wardrobe from when I was living in London before I got married 15 years ago, weighing 10 stone and size 10/12 (I'm 5'7). They're really tiny, compared to the size 12s I have now. (I'm back to 14/16 now.)

My DDs keep saying they want to see me in my wedding dress, but for obvious reasons I keep fobbing them off!!