How big to be considered fat?

[Iamhappytobehappy]

On the tails of the many threads on fatness / obesity and how bad it’s perceived I have started to wonder how people see me.

I consider myself big-boned (yes I know but I swear I am!) 5.7 tall and a size 14/16.

I don’t think I look fat. I am not slim or skinny but not fat.

I have been a size 12 and people seemed more attracted to me but I was also 20 years younger so not sure being bigger is the only factor to take into account.

AIBU to feel those threads are not for me or Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
I am very active and so quite muscly. Eat healthyly but would need to starve to be the same weight of 20 years ago!

Tell me when do you start considering someone fat?

Another one eiht a bap face. It only deflates and shows my actual cheekbones when I get to around 10 stones and below.

Cook pass : Wtaf. There is no weight on your face at all. If I was that weight my face would just be swallowed, I'd look like like the Michelin man or something

My weight was creeping up a few years ago (early40s, got to a size 12, I looked exactly like my mother in the 80s) and I was absolutely shocked by how hard it was for me to get back where I wanted to be.

It was hard to accept my reality: I have to submit to absolutely gruelling workouts in order to build muscle and improve my cardio health. I eat probably a third, maybe a half of what I'd eat normally. I'm hungry a lot. It has gotten easier, but I have to deprive myself of comfort and food in order to stay a size 8 - where I'm happiest.

It ain't easy. But then again, I'm 44.

@bringincrazyback why? Most people who are a size 14 or over ARE medically overweight...it doesn't mean they're bad people, or disgusting or any of the other things OP said... but they are overweight

Because height plays such a big part in things. A person who is six feet tall and a size 14 is highly unlikely to be carrying too much weight for their frame, for instance.

Whenever I hear the word 'overweight' I always want to say 'over whose weight?' I'm not denying it's unhealthy to be over a particular weight, but imho that weight varies so much from individual to individual that it seems a really unhelpful blanket term to me. Plus, the word itself does carry negative connotations for many people even when it's not paired with anything insulting.

I've always had to walk everywhere (and had active jobs) and I've never seen walking a mile as a big deal.

That's fair enough but presumably you'd concede that it's a lot easier to clock up 10k steps when you have an active job?

Totally agree with you re regular exercise, but a mile a day is regular, it's just not as much as the recommended maximum, which personally I find unachievable most days and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. I enjoy walking and would love to do five miles a day but the time investment would cut way too deep into other things I need/want to do with my day. In practice I hover around the 2-3 mile mark and even though it's not a lot, I'm healthier than I was when I didn't exercise at all.

Things really are a mess when we have be careful not to hurt people's feelings by telling the truth that being overweight will cause major health problems as you age, will shorten your life, and that shorter life will be fraught with problems. Even as I type it I know someone somewhere will be offended.
And I'm sorry but just because an overweight person had a pretty face, they're still overweight. And setting themselves up for problems. It's no secret. There are no exceptions.

And as for walking more than two or three miles being unacheivable, you should try to walk faster. You need to make some time in your life for exercise. It's not an option.

Yawn!