How big to be considered fat?

[Iamhappytobehappy]

On the tails of the many threads on fatness / obesity and how bad it’s perceived I have started to wonder how people see me.

I consider myself big-boned (yes I know but I swear I am!) 5.7 tall and a size 14/16.

I don’t think I look fat. I am not slim or skinny but not fat.

I have been a size 12 and people seemed more attracted to me but I was also 20 years younger so not sure being bigger is the only factor to take into account.

AIBU to feel those threads are not for me or Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
I am very active and so quite muscly. Eat healthyly but would need to starve to be the same weight of 20 years ago!

Tell me when do you start considering someone fat?

[BumDisease]

Yawn!

[sizzledrizz]

And as for walking more than two or three miles being unacheivable, you should try to walk faster. You need to make some time in your life for exercise. It's not an option.

[sizzledrizz]

Things really are a mess when we have be careful not to hurt people's feelings by telling the truth that being overweight will cause major health problems as you age, will shorten your life, and that shorter life will be fraught with problems. Even as I type it I know someone somewhere will be offended.
And I'm sorry but just because an overweight person had a pretty face, they're still overweight. And setting themselves up for problems. It's no secret. There are no exceptions.

[bringincrazyback]

I've always had to walk everywhere (and had active jobs) and I've never seen walking a mile as a big deal.

That's fair enough but presumably you'd concede that it's a lot easier to clock up 10k steps when you have an active job?

Totally agree with you re regular exercise, but a mile a day is regular, it's just not as much as the recommended maximum, which personally I find unachievable most days and I'm sure I'm not alone in that. I enjoy walking and would love to do five miles a day but the time investment would cut way too deep into other things I need/want to do with my day. In practice I hover around the 2-3 mile mark and even though it's not a lot, I'm healthier than I was when I didn't exercise at all.

[bringincrazyback]

@bringincrazyback why? Most people who are a size 14 or over ARE medically overweight...it doesn't mean they're bad people, or disgusting or any of the other things OP said... but they are overweight

Because height plays such a big part in things. A person who is six feet tall and a size 14 is highly unlikely to be carrying too much weight for their frame, for instance.

Whenever I hear the word 'overweight' I always want to say 'over whose weight?' I'm not denying it's unhealthy to be over a particular weight, but imho that weight varies so much from individual to individual that it seems a really unhelpful blanket term to me. Plus, the word itself does carry negative connotations for many people even when it's not paired with anything insulting.

[InertPotato]

My weight was creeping up a few years ago (early40s, got to a size 12, I looked exactly like my mother in the 80s) and I was absolutely shocked by how hard it was for me to get back where I wanted to be.

It was hard to accept my reality: I have to submit to absolutely gruelling workouts in order to build muscle and improve my cardio health. I eat probably a third, maybe a half of what I'd eat normally. I'm hungry a lot. It has gotten easier, but I have to deprive myself of comfort and food in order to stay a size 8 - where I'm happiest.

It ain't easy. But then again, I'm 44.

[Dontfeellikeaskeleton]

Another one eiht a bap face. It only deflates and shows my actual cheekbones when I get to around 10 stones and below.

Cook pass : Wtaf. There is no weight on your face at all. If I was that weight my face would just be swallowed, I'd look like like the Michelin man or something

[Shaboohshoobah1]

Yes to people getting fatter over time - it normalises it. Kids are so much bigger now. My daughter swims a lot - even in her club, there are really fat kids. They swim up to 150 lengths per session so god knows what their parents are feeding them to keep them so fat at the age of 12.

Likewise saying ‘I’m 14 stone but I go to the gym so I’m healthy’ isn’t necessarily true. I worked as a PT for a long time and an awful lot of people go to the gym, but actually do hardly anything - just potter about, 10 minutes on an exercise bike, few bicep curls, maybe a Zumba class, then go home and eat too much as they think they have earned it. Just because you have been to the gym, it doesn’t mean you actually DID anything - or certainly not enough to eat too much afterwards in the mistaken belief that just turning up makes you healthy.

[Mayhemmumma]

I'd say rolls. Rolls are obvious fat. I have quite a collection sadly. I look at people who are all different shapes but only think fat if their shape is lost by fat.

[tiggerkid]

For me, being fat is always relative. And not relative to other people but relative to where I was before. I felt fat, for example, going from size 8 before I had my son to a size 12 after I had him. So I felt I had to lose weight. Now I am a size 10 and accept that I will probably never go back to my old 8 but I am equally not that bothered to be honest.

A lot of people will laugh at this but what is the point of comparing yourself with someone else? There will always be people bigger than you and smaller than you. That's why, for me, it only make sense to decide whether I am fat compared to where I was or where I want to be. Nothing else matters. Including what other people consider fat.

[Lizzie48]

I agree, @Limensoda my DDs beg for a snack when I've just about got tea ready, saying, 'I'm starving, Mummy.' I say, 'Good, then you'll eat your tea.' Except then they might still say, 'I don't like it.'

[Limensoda]

Apparently, apart from being heavier, today's children are less fit than children were over twenty years ago.
They run around less and eat more.
Always surprises me when there are lunchbox threads on MN and posters list a lot of crap they give their kids but defend it as normal diet or say their kids can't be expected to go three hours without a snack because they shouldn't 'go hungry'
I doubt any kids of Mumsnet parents have a clue what hunger feels like.
It's a mindset that starts by new parents worrying obsessively about their baby's feeding and then offering lots of alternatives if a child is a bit fussy about food.
Overeating becomes a habit that people think is normal.
Fitness levels are massively affected by children nth having the freedom to play out with friends.

[useruseruseruseruseruseruser]

We’ve all taught ourselves that we should never be hungry when actually for most people who are overweight the body needs to feel hungry to start to lose the weight!

Yes, I realised that when I got to grips with the poundage I'd let roll on over the years. There is nothing wrong with feeling a bit hungry. It's natural, it's normal, and it makes your food when you do have it taste amazing. Feeling a bit hungry, means your body is going to draw on its fat stores and you will lose weight.

[nottakingthisanymore]

Yes it was a time of rationing and plenty of people have done studies to show as a nation we were healthier then. It coincided with a period when very few had cars, house work was literally hard work- no vacuums or washing machines etc.

[Mirali]

Here's the NHS exercise guidelines
www.nhs.uk/live-well/exercise/

[Fairylea]

I think people use the whole “size 16 is the uk average” to feel better about themselves - I know I do. I think oh it’s okay, I’m the same as everyone else. So I’m not that big. But actually we’re all a bit too big. And we’ve become too scared to say it because you only have to say the words associated with being overweight to spark off a furious reaction.

Yes food was rationed in war time and no one should be deprived nutritionally but there is a huge difference between feeling a bit hungry sometimes and under eating. We’ve all taught ourselves that we should never be hungry when actually for most people who are overweight the body needs to feel hungry to start to lose the weight!

[NerrSnerr]

Designed for people whose food was being rationed.

But it's noticeable from the 90s. A size 12 in the 90s was much than it is now. I have some clothes from then and the size difference is astonishing.

We have lost sight at what's normal and people always use the whole 'size 14-16 is the national average so not big), even though that just means more people are overweight. (I know some tall people are not overweight and a 14-16 but that's not the majority).

[SerenDippitty]

Agree with pp. we have lost sight of what is normal. I went to a museum last year that had an exhibition of 1940s everyday clothing- not high end fashion. The dresses were tiny.

Designed for people whose food was being rationed.

[nottakingthisanymore]

Agree with pp. we have lost sight of what is normal. I went to a museum last year that had an exhibition of 1940s everyday clothing- not high end fashion. The dresses were tiny. We are too kind to people but I acknowledge it’s very difficult to get the balance right between telling someone they need to lose weight but also encouraging them to lose weight. I think our diet is very different to the past. In the old days people would have meat rarely, would have a boiled egg for tea or some soup. They didn’t have crisps, cake was very much a treat and they didn’t drink so much fizzy stuff. I myself am overweight. I am fat. I am a size 14-16 and 5’4”. I eat too much and don’t move enough. I’m trying to change that. Some people though are lucky that they eat a tonne of crap and never seem to get fat.

[Fairylea]

The whole “10k” steps thing is just to encourage people to walk more, the actual 10k figure is more or less picked out of the sky. What people need to do more of us walk BRISKLY - ie much, much faster than they think they need to. This is more beneficial to overall health than just trying to cram in the 10k steps everyday.

30 mins a day of brisk walking is far better for overall health and fitness than 10k slower steps a day. The Active 10 app is fantastic for logging this and I use it everyday. My health has really improved since doing it, and I’ve lost some weight.

[maddiemookins16mum]

You know when you’re fat. I do. 5ft 4 and 13 stone. In fact I’m obese.
#notproudbytheway

[noeffingidea]

I interpret 5 miles to mean actual walking outside (or on a treadmill I guess), and steps that you take just getting around doing things, climbing stairs etc, are extra. I've always had to walk everywhere (and had active jobs) and I've never seen walking a mile as a big deal.

[ivykaty44]

I think there is a vast difference from counting 10000 steps of movement and exercise which has your heart rate moving for 60 minutes into various zones and at times you can’t talk as you’re out of breath

[noeffingidea]

A little over a mile a day is way better than no exercise at all
I wouldn't count this as exercise at all, to be honest. The recommended minimum for walking is 10000 steps, which is approximately 5 miles.
There's a fair amount of evidence that regular exercise is essential for good health, aside from it's part in weight control.

[AhoyDelBoy]

@Tinty
You’ve answered your own question tbh. Muscle is denser than fat. Your DD has more muscle than you. Simple.
You should both have your body fat % worked out and that will explain things.