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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How big to be considered fat?

232 replies

Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 19:15

On the tails of the many threads on fatness / obesity and how bad it’s perceived I have started to wonder how people see me.

I consider myself big-boned (yes I know but I swear I am!) 5.7 tall and a size 14/16.

I don’t think I look fat. I am not slim or skinny but not fat.

I have been a size 12 and people seemed more attracted to me but I was also 20 years younger so not sure being bigger is the only factor to take into account.

AIBU to feel those threads are not for me or Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
I am very active and so quite muscly. Eat healthyly but would need to starve to be the same weight of 20 years ago!

Tell me when do you start considering someone fat?

OP posts:
Howhot · 31/10/2018 00:35

Kid yourself all you want, 25 stone is not healthy and pushing your body to it's limits at that weight is a disaster waiting to happen.

Dontfeellikeaskeleton · 31/10/2018 01:02

I have no idea who could be 25 stones and healthy. Doesn't make sense.

foxyliz26 · 31/10/2018 01:14

My mother used to say she was big boned !

I always said , yeah , its that big belly Bone that makes you look fat

if your DP/oh likes you as you are and you are both happy , who cares ?

Jlynhope · 31/10/2018 02:52

25 stone and running marathons? That seems quite dangerous.

Racoon100 · 31/10/2018 04:12

You’re fat when you can see fat rolls. I’m 5ft 5, 11.5 stone and size 14, and am fat.

scarymary2018 · 31/10/2018 05:22

I'm 5ft 10 with size 8 feet and broad shoulders. I exercise for 45 minutes 6 days a week and eat pretty healthy, don't smoke or drink.I am a size 14 on top and a 16 on the bottom. I don't know what I weight but probably around the 13 stone mark. I was the tallest in my class all through primary school and into secondary school. Just normal size for my height but always felt fat. I remember once in Year 6 doing a maths class about Weight and Mass and they weighed me in front of the class to demonstrate that I was heavy and then a teeny tiny little girl who was the lightest. This was 1988 so teachers were educated on eating disorders back then. I've hated weighing myself ever since as I will always seem heavy compared to short girls.The lowest weight I can go is 10 stone, anything less is classed as underweight. When I was 10 stone, bordering underweight I was still a size 12 so my frame must be on the bigger side.

AhoyDelBoy · 31/10/2018 05:30

@naiveandshy
We’re the same height but you weigh double what I do Hmm do you have a very wide frame? I would be absolutely huge at that weight!

Mummadeeze · 31/10/2018 05:52

I am the same height and size as you. Although I am more often a 14 than a 16. I weigh 12 stone 3. I think I look good. My figure is in proportion and toned. I would also look good a stone lighter but anything under 11 stone for me and I start to look underweight and not so good. My boss is the same height as us and weighs 9 stone. She also looks good. She has tiny boobs, I have big ones. We are all different. Try to feel happy in your skin, find clothes that suit you, eat well and exercise a lot and do not compare your weight with others!

bubbles108 · 31/10/2018 06:05

I don’t know my bmi... or weight.

Then how can you know if you're fat?

Saying you wear a size 14/16 is irrelevant.

I wear a size 14/16. I'm 5' 9" tall and weigh 10 stone 4 pounds with a BMI of 21.

Am I fat because I wear a size 14, sometimes a 16 (from Primark)?

Weigh yourself, work out your BMI

Then you'll know if you're fat

Iamclearlyamug · 31/10/2018 06:07

I'm 5'7 and weigh 11.11 - while according to BMI I'm only 5lb overweight, to me I still look big, and would like to be around 11st.

I carry all my weight up top, 34H boobs, a tummy and huge broad shoulders. my hips, bum and legs literally look like they come from another person's body 🙈

I imagine my body fat percentage is probably quite high despite (almost) being a healthy weight. I'm working on it, eating well and going to the gym 5 days a week, but no amount of exercise will change my body shape unfortunately

OrcinusOrca · 31/10/2018 06:18

I am going to sound really mean but I don't think large frames really make much difference. I'm 5'9, 10.5 stone and a size 10/12, and I would say I am large framed (quite broad shoulders) but it doesn't affect my weight particularly. I think we get used to everyone being bigger now, but I do think a 14/16 is edging towards fat. I was a 12/14 at uni at one point and weight nearly 13st, I was chunky then and wouldn't want to go back to that. The poster that's posted vintage sizing, I'd be a size 16 in those times, so it goes to show a 10/12 isn't really that slim!

Shitonthebloodything · 31/10/2018 06:24

For me anything over a size 12 and people start treating me differently. I'm currently a 16-18 and practically invisible. At a 10/12 I was treated far better generally when out and about.
I'm very short so the BMI scale isn't really relevant to me. According to that I'd be healthy at under 6 and half stone and overweight at what equates to an 8/10 for me.

mellongoose · 31/10/2018 06:30

You'll probably say my DH is talking nonsense but he tells me I have heavy bones (not big).

I'm pregnant at the moment so bmi is out! I've always been a stone heavier than someone else of the same height and dress size. Since my early twenties.

I open water swim, run and do yoga. I don't have rolls of fat. If I rest my legs on DH's he picks up my feet and says he's never known someone to have heavy bones like me 

BackBoiler · 31/10/2018 06:33

My dad has been to the docs recently. He is about 5ft 7 so quite short and weighs 13 1/2st. They said he was obese and needed to lose weight

sofato5miles · 31/10/2018 06:49

I am 5"5 and 11.5 stone. I had been 13 stone for 8 years post children but have been slowly getting it off. I am a 14/16.

I am certainly fat but since losing the first hunk of weight friends and family have been very complimentary and now, even though still fat, and now in the attractive zone. I can wear more fashionable clothes and it really has spurred me on to care more about my appearance.

Dunno if that helps.

Biologifemini · 31/10/2018 06:56

It isn’t subjective.
Check the height weight chart and take a look at your waist measurement. The latter is the best indicator of being overweight.

Noboozeforme · 31/10/2018 06:56

Sizing blows my mind sometimes.

I'm 5'11" and my friend is 4'11". My frame is twice the size if hers but yet we are both size 12.

Blows my mind I tell ya !!

Fairylea · 31/10/2018 07:04

I think we’ve all become a bit deluded about what’s overweight / obese / fat etc. We’ve definitely normalised being overweight as a society. My mum is from a different culture and anything over a size 10-12 is, in their eyes, fat.

I am a size 14/16 and 5ft 7 and I’m happy with that but I’m under no illusion that I’m not a bit bigger than I should be. I just like cake too much to care really.

littleHen84 · 31/10/2018 07:06

This thread has made me feel quite sad,i am a 14/16 and 5'7 and have a flat stomach and feel firm. I absolutely do not feel fat or obese as previous posters have felt this size/height would indicate. Sometimes having a larger bust means having a larger size not necessarily because of fat.

evilharpy · 31/10/2018 07:08

Biologifemini It frustrates me when people claim that BMI is nonsense. It really isn't. Unless you're a bodybuilder or someone with an extremely large amount of muscle, which you will never ever have from doing three zumba classes a week.

I'm fairly muscular. I lift weights and do a lot of body weight exercises. But I'm under no illusions that the 9lbs over a healthy BMI that I am at the moment is all muscle or that I don't need to lose any more weight.

Avegemitesandwich · 31/10/2018 07:24

BMI is total rubbish - the England rugby team would all be deemed as fat if it weren't.

I can't believe it took nearly 4 whole pages for that one to be wheeled out.

Shitonthebloodything · 31/10/2018 07:25

BMI absolutely is nonsense if you're anything that's not a very average height. Can you honestly say that a grown woman would look healthy at 6lbs 5? That's what the BMI scale says my range should start from. I weighed more than that when I was 11 and I wasn't a fat kid.

Shitonthebloodything · 31/10/2018 07:26

6st 5lb

obviouslymarvellous · 31/10/2018 07:46

I'm very broad backed have big boobs and I think I always look stocky. I exercise 6 times a week and do lots of walking and weigh around 13 stone. I'm 5 ft 7.5 and have large feet. I will never be skinny or look skinny, I don't consider myself obese but probably a scale would. I know various people who all weigh the same as me but I think they look thinner because of different body shape. Us broad backers have a tough job of looking thin  even the wrong kind of jumper can add lbs! I think a lot is based on body shape what you wear & how you carry weight. I don't go to the gym anymore wishing I was skinny or why can't I have a body like that, I am very fit, I keep active and I feel much better for it.

Avegemitesandwich · 31/10/2018 07:50

Can you honestly say that a grown woman would look healthy at 6lbs 5? That's what the BMI scale says my range should start from. I weighed more than that when I was 11 and I wasn't a fat kid.

6st 5lbs is the bottom range for a someone who is 4ft10. That is very short for a grown woman. The average 11 year old girl is 4ft 10 apparently. So I don't think it's that ridiculous?