AIBU?
How big to be considered fat?
Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 19:15
On the tails of the many threads on fatness / obesity and how bad it’s perceived I have started to wonder how people see me.
I consider myself big-boned (yes I know but I swear I am!) 5.7 tall and a size 14/16.
I don’t think I look fat. I am not slim or skinny but not fat.
I have been a size 12 and people seemed more attracted to me but I was also 20 years younger so not sure being bigger is the only factor to take into account.
AIBU to feel those threads are not for me or Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
I am very active and so quite muscly. Eat healthyly but would need to starve to be the same weight of 20 years ago!
Tell me when do you start considering someone fat?
Icannystandit · 30/10/2018 19:18
I'm the same height and size. Recently someone was astonished to find I weighed 13 stone and more or less accused me of lying. Yet I do. I seem to carry it off...large boobs and I still have a waist.
Yet I'm trying to lose at least 2 stone as I feel big to myself.
MrsStrowman · 30/10/2018 19:19
When it's affecting your health. FWIW when I dropped to an 8 several close friends, my brother and dad all pulled me aside to ask if I was ill. I wasn't I was actually incredibly fit, I just looked bony because I'm 5'8 and broad shouldered
VladmirsPoutine · 30/10/2018 19:20
I think it's quite visible when someone is fat; figures notwithstanding.
Someone on a thread once said she was 5'7 and was a size 18 yet her friend whom is 5'6 and the same weight she was, was a size 10. I couldn't quite understand that one but the jury is always out on the figures. If someone is fat they know it and everyone else can see it.
Dontfeellikeaskeleton · 30/10/2018 19:23
There's fat and then there's hefty, etc.
I was 14 stone, 5'5 and a size 16. Got called a fat lass when out etc. Looked fat and certainly felt fat.
On a frame like mine a couple of stone really counts.
DaysDragonBy · 30/10/2018 19:28
When I was at younger you were considered fat if you could pinch an inch.
That's still my benchmark and about right for me weight-wise too.
Chosennonetosurvivethenight · 30/10/2018 19:28
I'm similar to you OP and icannystandit I'm 5 ft 8 and wear a 14 in most bottoms and a 16 in some tops. I weigh 13 stone. I know I'm on the chubby side and not slim but eat a balanced diet and walk around 8 miles a week so that will do for me. I've painted this weight since my mid 30s so reasonably happy.
When I got married at 25 I was thin. You can tell on the wedding photos I'm not even curvy looking. I'm slim. I was a size 12 back them and weighed nearly 2 stone less.
phlirty · 30/10/2018 19:29
I am not sure how to answer. Dress sizes don't tell us much. For instance, I have everything from extra-small to size 18 in my wardrobe. Different brands, you know?
Cherries101 · 30/10/2018 19:34
I’m a size 12/14 at H&M with a bmi of 27 (so overweight). Everybody carries their fat differently.
ButchyRestingFace · 30/10/2018 19:34
Am I self deluded and everybody pities me and finds me ugly, hopeless and fat because I am over what is a healthy weight for my height?
Since the issue is so subjective, we'd have to see a photo (not suggesting this). It's impossible to say with the information given. Size 14/16 doesn't sound terrible on a 5 7" frame.
Do you feel in your interactions with others that people think you're the things you mention? 
Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 19:56
Butchyrestingface
I was being picking up from a recent thread called:
“All people are created equal—that is, unless they’re fat”
Sorry can’t link threads...
The thread mentions a research implying fat people induce those kind of feelings.
I feel ok actually but I was wondering what is considered fat and disgusting? Am I deluded to feel ok?
That’s why the AIBU 
lau888 · 30/10/2018 20:02
If there are no health issues affecting your everyday life, you are perfectly justified in being 100% happy with your size/weight. Too fat is when you are physically uncomfortable or have weight-induced health issues, etc. And don’t look at your clothes labels; measure your waist to hip ratio if you’re concerned. Tape measures don’t lie. x
SerenDippitty · 30/10/2018 20:04
I am 5ft 2 and weigh 9 stone. Size 10. I’m a healthy BMI but I’m sure some people in MN would think me big.
totallywired · 30/10/2018 20:04
Dress size isn't a useful measure as pp said, there is so much variation between shops and such size inflation. BMI is a good guide for the majority of people.
ARosebyAnyOtherNameChange · 30/10/2018 20:07
Serendipity, I’m 5’3 and 9 stone, but I take a 14 top in some shops. I think I must have a weird rib cage or something.
ragged · 30/10/2018 20:14
what is considered fat and disgusting?
An anorexic would say that happens at BMI > 16.
Honestly, OP, most people don't care. Most people are pudgy themselves (or bigger).
Obese looks extremely inconvenient, is what I don't like about looking fat. I'm too used to very fat people now to find any to find any of them disgusting... unless also thoroughly unwashed or smelly & unkept, I guess.
PaintingOwls · 30/10/2018 20:14
I consider myself big-boned
There is literally no such thing. A friend of mine is a radiographer and she said she's never seen anyone with bigger than normal bones, regardless of how skinny or obese they are.
SerenDippitty · 30/10/2018 20:18
People’s frame sizes do vary. Some people are really tiny and birdlike in build. Other people are bigger.
Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 20:20
Paintingowls
Agree but my ribcage and shoulders are quite wide and so are my hipbones. My mum who has a completely different bone structure than mine has small hands and feet and her shoulder frame is nearly half as mine. We are bound to carry weight in a different way?
WrongKindOfFace · 30/10/2018 20:21
There is literally no such thing. A friend of mine is a radiographer and she said she's never seen anyone with bigger than normal bones, regardless of how skinny or obese they are
But there are differences in bone structure. I’m wide hipped and broad shouldered so have never had a petite looking build. My bones aren’t bigger and heavier though. That half a stone I’d like to lose is all cake.
Iamhappytobehappy · 30/10/2018 20:23
I don’t know my bmi... or weight. I found it depresses me and makes me want to ear more if I know!
By the way, really appreciate everyone’s view.
It’s fascinating how we all try to go by a standard we fix in our head.
Probably my standard is quite low
shaggedthruahedgebackwards · 30/10/2018 20:23
Dress size or weight only gives part of the picture, it definitely matters how you carry the weight (for both health and aesthetics)
I suppose I would class someone as 'fat' (in my head only, I wouldn't feel the need to express it out loud!) if they have very obvious wobble or the extra weight 'hangs'. I know people who are certainly technically overweight (ie Bmi well over 25) but who I don't think of as far because they are still firm and have good muscle tone.
There's obviously an element of luck as I think apple shapes tend to look fat/unhealthy at a lower weight/size than pears/hourglasses where the extra tends to be more evenly distributed
haverhill · 30/10/2018 20:23
There are plenty of websites, some highly respectable ones, which provide information about how to determine whether you have a large, medium or small frame. It’s the wrist measurement apparently.
I have almost the exact measurements as the OP. My waist-hip ratio is amazing though 😀. I don’t feel fat but I sometimes feel that I’m made on a different scale to many women.
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