To be fucked off with 'leaps' for babies?

[harper30]

Christ alive I've just been for lunch with a load of mum friends, we all have babies under the age of one, and I swear if I hear the word 'leap' again one more time I will throttle somebody.
It's all based on this book/app called 'The Wonder Weeks' and it was recommended to me by so many people when I first had my baby. But the author was literally sacked from their university and I'm pretty sure had their doctorate stripped from them for issues with the research done for the book. So I didn't bloody bother buying it.
I understand that it's reassuring to know that when your child is being mental and won't sleep it's a 'leap' so that helps to explain it and you know they're upset for a reason.
But fuck me.
'Oh little Timmy is about to go into leap four, heaven help us all!'
'Yes little Debbie just finished leap 5, it was a week early and it was a shocker!'
'Ooooh we're due for little Jimmy's leap 5 now, we've only got a few days before it starts! Better get some sleep now!'

I never never point out that stuff about the authors to people because I don't want to shit on anything. But I had to let it out somewhere.

Does anyone else ever encounter this around parents of young children?
Are you guilty of bumming the leaps as hard as my mum friends??

And breathe. Thank you for reading.

@IsTheRainEverComingBack - a leap, I believe, is a period of development where a baby is growing or learning something new and therefore they can be fussier/not sleep etc. I think that's the gist.

If that's what they call it then my son has been leaping his entire 12 months because he still won't sleep 

There were laughing faces after that!!

It's interesting, I think the app came out when DS1 was about 3 and so all my friends who were having DC2 were obsessed with it but like you I felt like it was pointless because it was always the case that they tend to be unsettled just before they come out with some new skill and I became annoyed with it too. I do think it can cause a bit of obsession rather than just going with the flow and understanding progression is not linear and all that.

Yet here 7 years later I got DH to download the app for DC2 because it has some interesting points to look out for which I thought were fun as most development books don't talk about them. I can't bring myself to pay for it though

He doesn't stick to any of the timelines though and we have no idea which leap he's meant to be in.

TBH, when DS1 was little everyone obsessed over the 6 week growth spurt and the 4 month sleep regression so I think people just like babies to make sense, which they don't and won't.

If you look at the spacing for the leaps they are only a few weeks apart so if the baby is fussing and you look it up hey presto you are either in a leap, or they are 'a week early' or 'a week late'....

'This too shall pass' is pretty much my motto for parenting so I can see how it's emotionally helpful to some parents, but I agree it's a load of rubbish.

Sputnik I’m with you. DD2 has been in a sleep regression since the day she was born.

My friends were massively into it. Seemed like bullshit to me!

The babies got older, they stopped talking about it, we're still friends. We don't talk about leaps!

This too shall pass, harper30, this too shall pass

The most useful thing for me was the list of games to play with baby at each age. As a clueless and depressed first time mum, it gave me ideas and structure I found helpful

It was my textbook lifesaver for DD1 but absolutely useless for DD2. Horses for courses. And I like a good evidence based book so was determined for it to be a crock I refused to spend money on it, borrowing a friend's book. But DD1 followed all the leaps. Sorry but she did. Right up to 18 months when I got pregnant and too sick to read any more. DD2 was completely different and not linked to the leaps at all.

All babies are different but if it helps some mums feel more confident in the future where's the harm?

The Wonder Weeks always struck me as a load of crap.

And having read the book, the 'quotes' are clearly fabricated. I work in a (kinda) similar field and it's so obvious.

Of course it's BS but if it helps a parent get through a tough time when they're struggling and they can justify it with "leaps" does it matter? I guess it reminds them it's not forever and helps them push on through. Can't get worked up about it personally.

Er... I might have to put my tin hat for this.

I just looked at the front page of the Wonder Weeks website. That picture of the kiddie in the pink woolly hat - does anyone else think that looks like a baby photo of Boris Johnson?

Yanbu. It's just coincidence. And annoying.

Fuck Wonder Weeks lol. My toddler will act like an arsehole whenever he feels like it, not because he has decided it is "leap" time.

I loved by the wonder weeks graph. Sorry.

By that I mean when my newborn baby was having a shitty time (bad sleep, crying, unsettled) I would double check with the wonder weeks graph and Lo! She or He were also bang in the middle of a leap/big dark cloud. It wasn't MY fault my baby was crying, they were having a developmental leap!

I loved it.

I tell people about it. I told my mum about it and it took some of the heat off in terms of herjudging my parenting.

I didn't read the book though. Or do anythi g other than look at that lovely sanity saving graph.

I think my DH is currently going through a wonder week. Bwahahaa!

Never ever heard of it.

I think you need to be careful with all this stuff . DS1 was at times a very unsettled baby, but it wasn't leaps. It was an undiagnosed kidney problem. Fortunately the GP listened when I said he couldn't settle and just wasn't right.

FFS why don't people just have a baby and look after it without reading books about the latest trend or fads?
Talk about complicating things!
Parents who follow these books are boring.

Your original post nearly made me laugh out loud OP because it’s exactly how I feel!!!!!

I can’t believe how much people buy into all this Leap Shit

I inwardly roll my eyes when I hear a parent talking about the upcoming leap and although I just want to laugh at them instead I politely smile and nod

Ha my friend has been going on about this and I've just nodded and uh huh'ed and pretty much ignored what she's been wittering about.

We are the same age but I have a 10yo and a 2yo and she has a 18mo. So I do have a little experience of my own.

Thankfully I don't hang out with many new mums these days so I don't get too much repetition of the latest baby fad. I'm a bit more of the every baby and every parent is different so go with what works for you brigade.

It’s nonsense.

My niece lives by the ‘leaps’. She stayed with me for a few weeks recently, and all I heard about was the leaps. Baby was the exact same the whole time, extremely predictable, but her behaviour kept changing based on how he was supposed to be acting according to the graph. When he was meant to be being difficult she was stressed and talking ad nauseum about how fussy he was being, how he wasn’t sleeping, how she couldn’t wait for it to be over...but not a single thing had actually changed from the ‘easy’ week before. Just her perception of it.

For every person it helps I’m sure there’s someone else stressing themselves out over nothing.

I joined one of the Facebook groups but after a few weeks with my first born, I realised that every week was a developmental hurdle and every day has shocking bits. I had to leave the group because it felt like a cult.

You've Chris Evans to thank, he raved about leaps on the radio.

one of the best (funniest) baby books I read was called something like the perfect mommy (very old & American- well I am a bit old :)) the bit I remember best was when she was describing her dh coming home & finding her & her mummy friends all sitting with a (alcoholic) drink each - basically she said to him that it was that kind of bad day (with a few other choice words) when he commented that he wold like a day like that! wish I could remember the name!!!

Tbf, we're in leap 4 and my baby has turned from pleasant and predictable to an uncontrollable whinger who refuses to be put down 

However, it could also be the teething..

I found it helpful to a degree, but I try not to wang on about it.