To be fucked off with 'leaps' for babies?

[harper30]

Christ alive I've just been for lunch with a load of mum friends, we all have babies under the age of one, and I swear if I hear the word 'leap' again one more time I will throttle somebody.
It's all based on this book/app called 'The Wonder Weeks' and it was recommended to me by so many people when I first had my baby. But the author was literally sacked from their university and I'm pretty sure had their doctorate stripped from them for issues with the research done for the book. So I didn't bloody bother buying it.
I understand that it's reassuring to know that when your child is being mental and won't sleep it's a 'leap' so that helps to explain it and you know they're upset for a reason.
But fuck me.
'Oh little Timmy is about to go into leap four, heaven help us all!'
'Yes little Debbie just finished leap 5, it was a week early and it was a shocker!'
'Ooooh we're due for little Jimmy's leap 5 now, we've only got a few days before it starts! Better get some sleep now!'

I never never point out that stuff about the authors to people because I don't want to shit on anything. But I had to let it out somewhere.

Does anyone else ever encounter this around parents of young children?
Are you guilty of bumming the leaps as hard as my mum friends??

And breathe. Thank you for reading.

I was recommended wonder weeks...I only referred to it as a last resort - as in oh my god i have tried everything and nothing’s working, what the hell is wrong with me and my baby, oh look the chart has a cloud, oh maybe it’s not as shit as it seems, a wee sunny bit is coming up next week

Yeah it is a load of rubbish in my experience, all I ever see is people saying ohh Tarquin entered leap 4 early or Arabella entered this leap a bit late.

I vaguely looked into it with my first but it never seemed to coincide with when I was having difficult periods with him. I also remember reading you had to base it on due date, rather than when they were born and DS was a week late. But then he was always bigger than a lot of other babies his age and did things a lot earlier than he should have apparently, like teething. Although he was a late crawler and walker.

By the time I had my youngest, I was too wrapped up with a 2YO and newborn to give a shit.

I read the book. It was interesting. Gave me a much needed nudge towards trying to imagine the world from babies' perspectives. Stressing about the baby not having read the timeline in the book always seemed pointless though.

Haha this used to drive me insane too. It’s the way it was taken as gospel... ‘well she is going through a leap so it’s to be expected’. Grrr!!

It's the same as the sleep regression calendar. Who it helps, I do not know.

It's a load of shite and a self-fulfilling prophecy.

I hadn't heard of it with DD1 who very much wanders along at her own pace and is a stable little soul.

I heard of it with DD2 but didn't know it had an app and defined weeks! That said, before she learned to sit, crawl, walk and speak DD2 was a NIGHTMARE for a couple of weeks. I always said it was her brain knowing what she wanted to do but her body not having caught up yet. That is based on NO research though. It's just her.

I'd ignore those conversations OP.

Some members of my NCT group were obsessed with Wonder Weeks. My DC never seemed to match any of them, especially with the fabled sleep regressions (unless every week was a wonder week).

I'm convinced it all works on confirmation bias. People see a leap predicted and are on the lookout for more fussiness. If they then don't see more fussiness they forget it till next time. If they do see it their belief in it is confirmed.

Or other way round. They notice more fussiness and check the app. If a leap is meant to be happening their reaction is confirmed. If it isn't they forget the app didn't work that time and only remember the times it happened to match.

In expecting fussiness or lack thereof at any week people react differently being relaxed or on edge for fussiness which must also contribute. In the same way people claim homeopathy works because it works on babies. It's just a transferred placebo effect.

I never looked at it as it sounded clearly like bollocks.

A lot of the "research-based" childcare books are very poor from a scientific point of view. Yes, Sarah Ockwell Smith, I mean you. Cherry-picking abstracts from Google does not make something evidence-based.

If it bothers you that much maybe don’t hang out with these mum friends anymore?

OMG I have found my people!!

YADNBU!!!

Safe to say that my DD did go through poor sleep phases and often this would coincide with her developing a new skill, however the bloody 'Wonder Weeks' never tied in with anything she was doing. I deleted the app after a few months.

I bought so many books/magazines when DD1 was born, and read voraciously on what to do where and when, developmental stages. Worried myself sick about the next stages and how we'd cope.

2nd baby, didn't open a book once.

3rd baby, books had long gone to the charity shop .

Babies are unique. Mine sure as hell didn't follow any manual or instruction guide. But we got through it relatively unscathed from it. I think these things put such pressure on 1st time Mums to "do it right".

I used to find it quite useful (ducks). I didn't worry about trying to predict things but DS2 was a little sod when he was tiny and a skim read helped me keep a measure of 'this-too-shall-pass' perspective.

And DS2's major phases of "Fuck you, mother, and the horse you rode in on" did often seem to precede a new skill. I used to think, "Well I'd be pretty frustrated if I was trying to work something out and couldn't quite crack it, too."

My MIL says ' the baby is going through a phrase' she is absolutely hilarious.

So a leap is the new word for 'phrase' I'm glad I don't have to put up with this shit ever again. Baby Olympics we used to call it. I just ignored it always.

a leap, I believe, is a period of development where a baby is growing or learning something new and therefore they can be fussier/not sleep etc
God my DS must be going through a permanent leap because he’s never slept!

WTF you learn some new parental bullshit buzzword every day dont you. I take it 'leaps' just means period of development. I also take it all babies are meant to be the same at leaping with no deviation, otherwise they're not doing it right.

Have you read Expecting Better by Emily Oster? She is an economist, so it’s all about evidence based choices and risk analysis in pregnancy. She’s publishing a parenting book based on actual scientific evidence next year. I cannot wait for something backed up by research, although my youngest will be 2 by then. Will have to have another just to make best use of the book!

Some of it was useful.

TBH, what you're objecting to isn't really to do with the book. It's that some people will always latch on like limpets to a theory and become very boring in the way they talk about it. If it helps them get through things, fine. But yep, it's annoying to listen to.

Doesn't it link up with Brazletons research, the developmental "touch points"? . It doesn't mean we should all get obsessed and only ever talk about leaps though 😊

@SoundofSilence, see my post further up Sounds like your DS2 and my DD2 would get along very nicely with each other!

Same here. I had 3 dc before they bacame a 'thing' so was very when they seemed the be all & end all after dc4 then 5. They're a baby. Of course they're an awkward, sleep dodging, little git at times. It's how they figure the world out.

It's bollocks. I was reading that someone did some research into it, found no evidence leaps exist but the authors managed to block publication of it.

I sometimes wonder how I managed to raise my children to adulthood without apps and whatnots.