What age would you give your child alcohol at home?

[HillyMillylunchmunch]

Now my daughter has turned 5 I have realised it is legal to give her alcohol at home!

I'm not planning to this weekend, but have no idea when I'll start. Literally no idea if I'll feel comfortable letting her have the odd weak shandy from 8 at christmas or a sip of Baileys at 10 or if I won't give her anything until she's a teenager. I doubt it'll be later than teenage...but again I really can't tell yet.

So I wondered what other people do with their children - do you offer a young child drink occasionally? Do you give a teenager drink if they ask for it with dinner? Or do you give in and let them have their first pint a fortnight before they turn 18 and nothing before then?

Link to drinkaware page on the law re legal drinking age at home to try and avoid lots of discussion about whether this really is the law or not

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s/

Neither of mine have had any, age 12 and nearly 15. I have offered tastes of my drinks but they say no.

What’s wrong with just waiting to see if she asks for a sip? No need to offer. Just see if she asks for a sip. Chances are she’ll try it and not like it!!

It may be legal but your child is still growing.

Nothing wrong with that Juniper, just interested in what other people do.

Thread is meant in a lighthearted way as the law feels very weird tbh, so just wondering what others thibk

That said I know that apparently in Europe people start giving their children watered down wine with dinner from a fairly young age, and again apparently they have healthier attitudes to drinking, so maybe there's something in it?

You'll note the word apparently twice in the above, hence me asking to her opinions!

My dc under 18 know not to ask.
Personal choice I never have /would.
Dc never argued /tried to persuade me.
My dc under 18 have never seen me drink alcohol either.

I think most people know it is legal. Personally I've let mine have sips just to take the mystery away and taste, from as soon as they ask. All of mine have loved it when very young and then once they've got a bit older, hated the taste and stopped asking. Generally we don't drink before they are in bed, so it's not been a regular thing. More on holiday/camping that they'd see it and maybe ask. I wouldn't let them taste something tempting for them like an alco-pop, but we don't drink those. When I was a child I was allowed watered down wine with a Sunday roast from the age of 7! They harped on about this being the French way (we're not French ) and how it would take the mystery away. I think they just got a kick out of seeing me drink it and liked telling their friends.

I let my 11 year old have a glass of weak Buck's Fizz last Christmas morning. I'm not sure about teenagers, haven't quite got that far yet. I'm surprised when I hear of friends buying alcohol for their 15 year olds to take to parties, but maybe I'll end up doing that too.

Before this goes horribly wrong I want to be really clear I am not planning to give my 5 year old booze!

I am just aware it is legal, this feels odd to me, so I'm interested in what other people think about this fact and what age other people feel comfortable giving / offering their child alcohol.

DS used to ask when he was little, we used to say the best way to get the flavour is to dip your finger in and then take it out and shake it very hard.

Took him years to figure that one out.

Then he went through the tablespoon of wine with so much water phase.

If he didn't ask, we didn't offer.

Last year we started buying him twelve beers a month, not every month just every so often, they were expected to last him a month, they generally did.

He is now on his way to 18, we share a bottle of prosecco from time to time, he still gets his twelve beers a month and appears to have a good relationship with alcohol. Thank God.

You can legally give children alcohol from 5?

My parents let me suck on fingers dipped in brandy when I didn’t sleep as a baby! I think I was allowed to drink at home from around 15/16 but my parents have always been very relaxed about alcohol.

For my own kids I’d probably be about the same but may change my mind when they’re at that age!

My children are toddlers so not speaking from experience as a parent but my parents were fairly easy going (if that's the right phrase) and were open with us about drinking (we were allowed alcopops at home from about 14/15 with friends or maybe with dinner) and letting us go out on the town from 15/16 with our fake IDs as long as we were home by 1am and we had to text when we were leaving and when we got home regardless of what time it was.

Now as an adult (mid 20s) I don't drink at all - we never took the piss or got crazy drunk out with our friends regularly which I attribute to it not being as taboo or naughty sneaking around our parents backs because they were open about it, taught us not to mix and had no sympathy if we did get sicky drunk!

Actually our toddlers have stuck their fingers in DPs beer and GPs wine before! But I don't think that really counts.

Well from about age 4-5, with every Sunday lunch, I used to have a tiny thimble-sized glass of either sherry or dad's homemade sloe gin
That was from 1960 onwards and quite normal among my parents' friends then

I don't know if that's why, but I've always been a v light drinker:
even at uni I've never been tipsy in my life, or had more than 2 glasses of wine any night
or had my single glass on more than 3 nights in any week.

If you do decide to give alcohol, then only a very tiny amount and no more than once per week
I expect more than that is a bad idea, certainly at primary school age.

My 13 year olds have had wine and lemonade at family parties, and 1 WKD each at Christmas. They asked, we agreed as it was a special occasion - no issues here I don’t think

Both me and DH don't drink but DC 9 and 11 have tried small sips of other peoples drinks.

My mam gave me sips of the occasional Colt 45 lager she'd buy as a treat. I'd get a bit of sherry at Christmas and liqueurs in my stocking. Wine with special meals from about 13/14 but I'd already developed a taste for the good stuff by being cute and nicking champagne at Greek weddings when I was a toddler.

I used to let dd have watered down wine from about 8. She's 23 now and doesn't often drink.

I like a glass or 3 of wine at the weekend but know my limits.

i remember being allowed to have one sip of my dads beer every time he opened one (but only if i asked, and he never drank more than two or three cans every fortnight or so -eventually becoming pretty much teetotal by the time i was in my midteens).

i was in a tiny minority of kids at school who didnt get completely blotto at the weekend as a result - i already knew i didnt like certain beers, didnt enjoy how fizzy cider was, and drinking seemed fairly unexciting. most of my friends had their first taste of alcohol on street coners, after being purchased at huge expense by older kids..

i look back and definitely credit my parents attitude of "alcohol is no big deal, only consume what is enjoyable" as being surprisingly modern and enlightened (definitely was, for them) and led to me and my siblings to all have a healthy attitude later on as adults.

Both myself and DH grew up in houses where it wasn't out of bounds to have a small glass here and there at family occasions etc as children. He's grown up with issues re alcohol addiction and I couldn't really care less if I never had another sip. I know that's just two of us, but it has made me decide that I will take a firmer approach with our kids, as I just don't want them seeing alcohol as a necessary addition to their lives. If they ask for a sip then I would not say no (within reason) but I'd be hoping they really didn't like it and certainly not encouraging them to have their own version. I don't think I'll have much of an issue with our eldest who tried to glug a strong g&t aged 6 thinking it was water, and strongly aired his views on that whilst spraying it back out - potentially scarred for life, bless him!

sorry that was meant to say: from the age of about 5, sipping my dads beer. the joke was that i would tell him if it was a "good can" or a bad one (ironic since he only ever drank the same beer...)

Well back in the 80,s i was getting into pubs at 14 now my ds is nearly 12 it horrifies me , i think my sister has bought her teens. Alco pop type drinks to take to parties from around 15 she says kids are more into drugs than alcohol these days which also horrifies me , teens seem so much younger and more naieve these days not sure if this is a good or bad thing tbh.

I think the public health evidence now suggests that it's best to avoid alcohol before the age of 15.

I'm of the era that was offered (tiny amounts of) watered down wine and lager & lime diluted with lemonade from about the age of 7 or 8. I can't recall if this was weekly with eg Sunday roast or just for special occasions. Whilst this has worked for BigChocFrenzy (this was the theory!) it's not been as successful for the rest of my generation (50+) who mostly drink way too much too often.

It's important not to mystify alcohol, hide it away or make it shameful regardless of whether or not you drink - this applies to many things - but you need to speak openly to your children about alcohol and drinking responsibly.

I have three teens. The oldest is quite ascetic and has refused more than a taste. I suspect the younger two will be keenly accepting their 'Christmas drink' at 15.

Until Tony Blair deregulated pub drinking hours there was no legal minimum age for alcohol. This dates from the time when weak ale was safe than dirty water but had made it very acceptable for tired parents/grandparents to offer teething babies a spoonful of spirits to take the pain away. Common baby/infant remedies still contained alcohol when I was a child. Setting the age at five was a big improvement!

It's perfectly legal for under 18s to drink in certain circumstances. From wikipedia:
"The individual is aged 5 or older, and is at home or other private premises.
The individual is aged 16 or 17 and the alcohol, which can only be beer, wine or cider, is consumed with a table meal.
The person making the purchase must themselves be 18 or over."

I’ve always wondered about this (IMO) crazy law. So if a person gave a 5 year old lots of alcohol in their own home that caused them to become very ill they aren’t breaking the law? Or would it be classed as neglect/child abuse?

I remember my dad going mad at my little sisters friends mom because she gave my sister and her friend bottles of Bacardi Breezers at her house when they were 8 years old.

DC are 9 & 7 and a long way off trying - not even a sip. DH and I like a drink and also of the generation where our parents thought it very progressive and European to allow us to have watered down wine/shandy from a young age. We both now drink far more than we should and I think that’s partly because alcohol was normalised for us. There is no need for the DC to try alcohol and I’d prefer they grew up thinking it was something to be saved as a treat, for adults.

Alcohol is a neurotoxin. Why would you want to give that to your child???

I don't let mine have any at home or elsewhere until they turn 18. They know that's the rule.

I'm aware there is alcohol around before then (and my dcs have probably drunk), but none of them drink a lot yet. ( have 2 over 18 now).

I just found it easier to adopt a zero tolerance approach. None of my children seem that interested. I don't generally drink at home unless I have friends over.