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Original poster

What age would you give your child alcohol at home?

97 replies

HillyMillylunchmunch · 29/10/2018 20:44

Now my daughter has turned 5 I have realised it is legal to give her alcohol at home!

I'm not planning to this weekend, but have no idea when I'll start. Literally no idea if I'll feel comfortable letting her have the odd weak shandy from 8 at christmas or a sip of Baileys at 10 or if I won't give her anything until she's a teenager. I doubt it'll be later than teenage...but again I really can't tell yet.

So I wondered what other people do with their children - do you offer a young child drink occasionally? Do you give a teenager drink if they ask for it with dinner? Or do you give in and let them have their first pint a fortnight before they turn 18 and nothing before then?

Link to drinkaware page on the law re legal drinking age at home to try and avoid lots of discussion about whether this really is the law or not

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/the-law-on-alcohol-and-under-18s/

OP posts:
Ariela · 29/10/2018 22:35

We rarely drink at home, but would have wine at Christmas, and beer or cider if out for a meal. DD was allowed to taste it if she wanted to, but hated it from a very early age. We've always allowed her to taste beer, wine, cider if she asked. She does like some beer and some cider but not massively only to accompany food. She's now at Uni and doesn't like going out when all they're going to do is drink. She cannot understand why they waste money on drinking loads only to be sick and bring it all back up. What a waste of money..

JosellaPlayton · 29/10/2018 22:39

In our family at aged 7 or so they’re allowed a sip of wine if they ask to taste it. The 13YO is allowed a small glass with a meal. We are half French and there is a family vineyard which commercially produces wine. The older children in the family are not mine but their parents will definitely not allow hard liquor until they’re much older, probably 17 or 18. Save from the odd G&T none of us tend to drink spirits though.

PoxAlert · 29/10/2018 22:44

Didn't realise 5 was the age. Surprisingly young.

I drink pretty rarely.

DD (5) never wants to try. But I offer her a taste of everything I have (food/drink) if she looks interested.

So far has always just sniffed alcohol then turned it down. And I can guarantee she wouldn't like any of it.

But I'd rather it didn't have the mystery. My parents let me try whatever and even have a small glass of something if I asked from maybe 11ish.

I never finished it.

But it also meant it wasn't something I ever had to sneak to try. I never got drunk as a teen and have an (I think) very healthy attitude to alcohol. So I guess I am happy to do with DD as my parents did with me.

RoboJesus · 29/10/2018 22:54

Sips here and there after 5, little bit each week with Sunday roast as a tween, building up to glass a week with Sunday roast at 15. All if they want to of course. The research says that's the best way to go about it so that's what I'll do

Oliversmumsarmy · 29/10/2018 22:58

Don't France and Spain have more of a drink problem than the UK

comeasyouare1 · 29/10/2018 22:59

I have a 16 year old daughter, she's allowed a small glass of wine/prosecco with me supervising. I think it's important to take away the curiosity of alcohol and teach them to drink responsibly, but I know that's not everyone's view. I was allowed alcohol around the same age, before that I was allowed small sips. I never had any interest in sneaking booze and hiding out with mates to get plastered. It didn't hold any interest for me as I knew if I wanted a drink I could have one.

Koalablue · 30/10/2018 02:13

At the last family wedding my almost 17 year old and 15 year old had an inch of Champaign in a glass to toast. Other than that nothing till 18.

Notso · 30/10/2018 06:23

As someone from a family of heavy drinkers I was given alcohol from a young age. Baileys from around 3, cider or wine from around 7 and anything I wanted from around 11/12.
I had a massive problem with binge drinking as a teen from about 14/16 still used to drink in parks and on street corners. Unlike my friends I knew I wouldn't get in trouble for it.
Since I had my children I very rarely drink in front of them unless it's an occasion. Very rarely DH and I have wine with dinner if I've used some in cooking. We probably drink around the kids maybe 6-8 times a year.
They have had alcohol in desserts and other cooking. I wouldn't just provide them with a glass of something though.
We have an 18 year old and she drinks in moderation, she got really drunk at a party aged 17 and hated how ill it made her so she's very careful now.

BeardedMum · 30/10/2018 06:28

Mine have never showed any interest at all and its only now my DS is 17 he drinks at the occasional party. We sometimes buy him a coctail while on holiday, but never give him alcohol at home. It has never been an issue as no interest and my youngest ds12 doesn’t even like fizzy drinks and only has water.

MyOtherProfile · 30/10/2018 07:25

Don't France and Spain have more of a drink problem than the UK

That doesn't seem to be the case either statistically or anecdotally. I've never seen binge drinking in either of those countries like I have in the UK.

StrongerThanIThought76 · 30/10/2018 07:51

I rarely drink. But occasionally if I open a bottle of wine to have with dinner will offer my kids a sip (from my own glass) if they ask. Have done since maybe 10 years old, if the adults are drinking wine the kids will have something like schloer in a wine glass. Similarly we often all have a fancy soft drink with dinner to show that a treat doesn't have to be boozy.

A binge-drinking friend of mine was absolutely mortified with my approach - how could I offer my kids a taste of alcohol (remember, in a home environment, sat around the dining table for a special family meal) whereas her child regularly saw her off her head drunk, had to sort himself out in the mornings when she was hungover...

I hope I'm showing my kids that alcohol can be consumed sensibly, it is not 'the norm' in our house to drink.

MyOtherProfile · 30/10/2018 08:53

I hope I'm showing my kids that alcohol can be consumed sensibly, it is not 'the norm' in our house to drink.

That's exactly my feeling. We never get drunk and just enjoy wine or beer or gin from time to time. I want my children to see alcohol as a nice thing and to appreciate the different flavours while respecting it.

FishCanFly · 30/10/2018 09:11

They had liqueur sweets since they were very little. Actual drinks - 14yo has some on festive days.

MajesticWhine · 30/10/2018 09:17

I let 16yr old dd have beer or wine or a G&t on a Friday or Saturday night. This is a fairly recent thing. Maybe a glass of fizz at Christmas or special occasions has been happening since about aged 13.

QueenOfMyWorld · 30/10/2018 09:19

16

Jakethecob · 30/10/2018 09:22

My family had wine with Sunday lunch and at Christmas and Easter when I was growing up. I was always allowed a glass of watered down wine if I wanted one from early on. I've never had a problem with alcohol, like a glass of wine occasionally, but not bothered either way. I did the same with my children when they were young. They are the same as me now they are adults, like a glass of wine with lunch, but don't drink to get drunk.

tillytrotter1 · 30/10/2018 14:12

I recall drinking a Babycham on NYE, I'm really that old, when I was about 12, my Aunt then couldn't fathom why I wasn't still drinking it in the 30s, 40s and 50s, 'But you used to like it'.

FangTasticFeast · 30/10/2018 14:27

15 but he’s really not that interested. He had a baileys last Christmas, a bit of port at my mums with a meal around August time and he tried some gross looking pink stuff a couple of weeks ago that his older brother bought

MrsA2015 · 30/10/2018 14:29

What a bizarre question in a world where we know the dangers of alcohol. Hmm

RoboticSealpup · 30/10/2018 14:52

18

GrandTheftWalrus · 30/10/2018 15:11

My 2yo tries to put her finger in my glass and I keep telling her "not till you're 5!"

I am joking though and will let her have small sips if she wants and then maybe a beer with Christmas dinner etc in her teens (14+)

We don't drink wine or anything. We drink beer or vodka. And I wouldn't want her drinking a vodka with her dinner.

Maybe a shandy made of an inch of beer and rest lemonade like my dad made me

Isitweekendyet · 30/10/2018 15:17

Between being allowed a mouthful of my granddads red wine at Christmas when I was four and spitting it all over my roast dinner and lying in the grass in my friend from college’s back garden at 17, I would say from about fifteen I would allow restricted alcopops.

Sheerly for the reason that I have known countless teens who were banned from any alcohol and got to late high school and college where it was such a taboo that they couldn’t get enough of it and ended up it some really bad states due to having no idea of how to drink responsibly.

Kewqueue · 30/10/2018 15:20

14 year old has a sip of wine or beer.

BrokenWing · 31/10/2018 18:26

@RoboJesus The research says that's the best way to go about it so that's what I'll do

Can you share the up to date research which shows you should start introducing alcohol slowly to pre teens?

MaxTeyon · 31/10/2018 19:06

I guess 16’s a reasonable place to start as they can legally drink in pubs and restaurants.