To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

That parking is really really serious business! I never knew so many people cared so much about where you park.

Husbands with a hobby that it outing. This hobby takes up several evenings a week and all day Saturday or Sunday.

And the wife should be totally fine with this as poor DH needs his down time. She is wicked and controlling for wanting him to spend some time with the family.

Someone could post something and be given lots of reassurance, the next day a different person posts an identical scenario and is told they are completely unreasonable..

That some people flush their waste food down the toilet, as in scrape the plates into the loo, and think this is perfectly normal.

That there's a narcissism epidemic affecting many partners of posters.
That MILs and SILs are beasts from the nether reaches of hell.
That many AIBU posters refuse to believe they are BU despite unanimous YABUs.
That many men have WEIRD habits previously unheard of and to LTB.

That if you find out about someone cheating you must never ever tell the wronged partner.. Ever.. I'd rather be shot as the messenger then keep a scumbags secret.

Teachers are always perfect and if a child has a compliant about one its the child that is obviously lying.

So much stuff on here makes me but I do love it..

That should obviously say complaint.. Fecking phone..

Seaweed no!! Please say you made that up for a laugh.

That you should worry if your 4 year old hasn't figured out that Santa isn't real - isn't she capable of critical thinking, how could she possibly still believe? Does she really believe that children in sub-Sahara Africa receive gifts from Father Christmas? Hasn't she organised a shoebox appeal single handedly?

She must know, she's just pretending so she can screw you for expensive presents.

You must get their one gift from a skip, preferably found under a dead fox.

That's excessive.

You should give them the dead fox.

Your DC getting dressed up on 31/10 and ringing the door bell of a house that is completely decorated with skeletons, witches and pumpkins, knocking on the door and getting offered sweets is somehow 'begging'.

That if your MIL offers to do your ironing, she's trying to take over your home, is judging you and you should go NC immediately.

If you send a text or whatsapp, you shouldn't expect a reply for 3 days or more because people are busy and you are just being demanding to expect a reply

That I must be a complete slattern. I've had Star Drops and Zoflora in the cupboard under the sink since the stone age, and there's still plenty of both of them left.

The massive amounts of bleach people use. Gallons of the stuff. Their homes must smell like the local swimming baths.

Oh... and if you don't boil wash your sheets every other day, you're a skank. And you should wash your bras by hand every night.

You should give them the dead fox. A whole fox would be a luxury. A gnawed off ear would be sufficient.

If one of your children devide to become vegetarian they must cook for themselves.

EVERYONE has family or friends or a 'network of support', surely, on whom they can rely for childcare and money.

You should always 'be the bigger person'.

Fruit shoots are like craic for kids

If one of your children devide to become vegetarian they must cook for themselves.

NO WAY! 15-18 year olds are still just children and completely incapable of YouTubing how to boil water.

@TyrionsNextWife

You googled sootikins didnt you? My eyes are bleeding

LTB

If you make one typo you've ruined the whole thread and everything's unreadable.

If you tip in the UK you're stupid. If you don't you're stingy.

A sling solves everything.

Riddles are not permitted.

Can anyone enlighten me as to what a penisbeaker is (I don't know why but I have a vision of a tuccan in my head), I'm really intrigued!!!

You must lock yourself away for at least 6 weeks after having a baby with no visitors.

For that 'bonding' time.

@driggle this was one of the things that shocked me when I flat started MN!

All children must be taught how to clean and do laundry at as young an age as possible. Because it's very very complicated and difficult and cannot be self taught when you are older.