To ask about the weird things you only learned from MN?

[Blanchedupetitpois]

It seems like in MN world there are all kinds of rules that I swear I’ve never seen expressed or followed in real life. What have you been most surprised by? I’ll start:

1. Adults don’t celebrate birthdays, and if you expect any recognition of yours, you’re being childish.

1. Halloween is exclusively an American import with no history in this country, and celebrating it is therefore tacky and meaningless.

1. Trick or treating is glorified begging.

1. Absolutely nobody other than you or your DP is remotely interested in your pregnancy, and even telling another person that you’re pregnant is akin to riding a donkey down the high street while calling for palm fronds to be laid at your feet in recognition of the impending miracle of your unborn child.

Yes, user, it's a very UK thing. Never heard of it before until moving here. I can see where it can be considered really rude. We will sometimes go along to these 'evening do' if it's local, but it does seem a bit presumptuous if it's just for the evening and the thing is the middle of nowhere where you have to drive and drive or pay to stay somewhere and then the couple want cash, too. But just decline those and send a nice card.

An 'evening do' at a wedding is very much the norm at weddings where I live. I've never heard of anyone being offended at being invited to one, but equally I've never heard of a bride and groom being offended if anyone declines the invitation, and there is absolutely no expectation of a present just because you have been invited, so it's not a grabby thing either.

I definitely know someone who washes their cooked mince. Takes all the best bit fat off, apparently.

The evening do scenario contributes to the attitude that it's all about the party, not the marriage. For me the whole point of a wedding is the ceremony and exchange of vows. If I don't get to see that I have no interest in the party. You wouldn't skip the church or crematorium and just show up for the funeral tea.

Oh, Blue, I have heard of couples who invite guests to the ceremony, then tell them to fuck off whilst the select guests get a meal (called a breakfast even though it's not ), then come back for the evening party. In the middle of nowhere. And give them money. That does seem quite distasteful. The weddings seem to last so long but end fairly early at night, IYKWIM. In my culture, the wedding doesn't usually start until very late afternoon or evening, and everyone goes to the ceremony and then directly to the reception. This can last until the wee hours.

Yup, that would be extremely distasteful. For me it's the whole shebang or nothing. We always refuse evening only invitations, I want to see the ceremony, hear the vows, watch the pristine bride walk down the aisle, to me that IS the wedding.

Dont Yeah thats what weddings are like around here - all start late afternoon, then a hour or so for photos and straight onto meal/party.
Lady haha sorry your post made me laugh squashed in the middle of 2 wedding posts. Ew who washes cooked mince - gross!

Everyone takes their shoes off before they get to their front door, or anyone else's.

Anyone who wants to make a fuss of a stranger's baby is riddled with germs, or a paedophile, or just plain weird.

Oh and maternal grandmother is perfectly entitled to be at the whole birth of the baby, but the paternal grandmother is not allowed to see the baby for two weeks after.

Friends of ours are getting married at a very swanky and expensive hotel in London next month. We are ‘only’ invited to the evening do and are looking forward to it very much. We are delighted to be included in their big day and certainly don’t feel like second class guests. The formal day do will be for immediate family and very close friends only, presumably for reasons of intimacy/cost/space - I don’t know for sure why and I don’t really care, it’s none of my business.

We will turn up in the evening with a whole host of others and have a thoroughly good time celebrating with them. And I will bring a card and a present because they are our mates and I love them.

Fretting about the hierarchy of day or evening invitations seems petty to me. If you like them and want to celebrate with them, accept the invitation they extend, if not then decline it.

You must change your sheets as often as humanely possible: thread in which the OP asked did she really need to change the sheets on her guest bed after her DD's best friend had stayed for one night in a bed w clean sheets and now her DH's mate was staying over for one night and she was considering not changing the sheets for this bloke who would fall into the bed after a night out with her DH for literally a few hours: cue an entire thread of posters saying 'Eeeew of course she should' and 'how disgusting she would even think of allowing this poor bloke to be contaminated by dirty sheets.'

So, I learnt from mn what a right slattern I must be!

People can get to middle age having never made a cup of tea or coffee - what do these people offer guests when they visit - clearly not wine because...
Wine is the devils work and the occasional glass makes you an raging alcoholic.

That your 18 year old adult child should report to you at all times and if they don't it's actually okay to confiscate their phone and ground them.
If your 17 plus age child drinks anything stronger than ribena you are a v bad parent
Ribena is too sugary and children should only ever drink filtered water

Fretting about the hierarchy of day or evening invitations seems petty to me. If you like them and want to celebrate with them, accept the invitation they extend, if not then decline it.

But this is a very British thing. The two-tiered wedding can seem very rude to people from other cultures because (other than in Japan) it's not a pervasive practice. As will the' you should be delighted we invited you to the evening do'. I do agree, however, if you don't like it, decline.

You can get a half hour consultation with a lawyer without having to pay for their time or advice.

Indeed. You are entitled to it, no less.

Mumsnet is SO weird about weddings.

You can get a half hour consultation with a lawyer without having to pay for their time or advice.

This always cracks me up because I am a lawyer and this is absolutely not a thing. Some firms might offer it as a freebie to tempt you through the door, but it is not universal and certainly not something you are entitled to or able to demand. I also query the quality of legal advice you could actually get in a half hour anyway, given that lawyers have to be incredibly careful about giving advice when they don’t have all the facts to hand.

That changing the bed sheets immediately after sex is a thing. Like no post conjugal chill, just out of bed, sheets stripped, no doubt full shower and washing machine loaded

Yes, yes, yes stripey I managed to find the name of the emoji (you just press on it)...what I'm not getting is its an 'audio' show (whilst acknowledging its more than that and the longest running one in the world) so therefore what actual pub sign; as in, do we have actual photos of Home Farm too? How is there a pub sign and we know what it looks like? ...and...where do you go looking for secret emoji's, you must've seen one in archers already? Or did you do a search of some kind (I'm on the hunt)...
Thank you so much for the explanations!

Blanched I always thought that, but was assured, no, go along and get half hr 'free'...was a bit . Surely enough was an info gathering exercise with pretty much zero advice, obvs due to not having a full basis on which to advise!

Oops, not Halloween...

*That you must never ever call for an ambulance or go to A&E.... not even if you’ve a limb hanging off.

Just log it with 101 instead.*

But only after running it by the knowledgeable folks at AIBU for at least twelve hours.

That you can "chuck loads of veg" into a slow cooker and have an amazing meal ready when you get home. You can't, it's all slop.

That you can get at least 10 different family meals from the one chicken and it will last you more than a week

Oh, yes, 'Ring a solicitor for your free half hour of advice'. That's going to solve your complicated divorce right there.

@ShriekingBanshee the emoji was discussed over a few threads when someone (forget who! Olivia?? ) from MNHQ posted comments on the storylines etc and it was suggested and then acted upon. Lots of The Archers listeners lurking!

..and 101 (the police) seems to be the go-to of choice for ill MNers? Logging dangling limb with police...can imagine responses...I've seen 101 so often where I think should been 111, but maybe not. Am seriously