Anyone really depressed about Christmas already?

[AlpineButterfly]

Very sorry for posting this!!!!

Massive change in circumstances this year means that we can hardly feed ourselves let alone do Christmas. First year with two kids. We have a plan to wrap something for the boys from the.lofy - one of my childhood toys. They'll be nearly one and nearly two so it's fine. They won't know any better but we've already cancelled hosting to save money and have told others we aren't doing presents. We are also not doing gifts for eachother.

It's just depressing though. I've never had high expectations and we only spent about £30 on our eldest last year but we.arent even doing that this year.

Not a begging thread. Just a whinge

You can still have a lovely Christmas Day though.

Your lucky the dc are still small so any new toy they haven’t seen before in some cheap wrapping, a pack of chocolate coins and they will be happy. Do some Christmas colouring, watch a film etc

You’ve got 2 dc which is so much more than many will have this Christmas. Many will be completely alone

I wouldnt worry too much about presents for the kids at that age , rhey are too young to know any better , are any other relatives buying for them?

Sorry times are tough with you.

Loads of free stuff you can do to make the season magical though.

At least your boys are very young and should be easy to please.

Loads of people find Christmas expensive and stressful. You might be surprised to know how many of your friends/relatives are secretly relieved that you are cutting down and will do likewise.

Can you register with a food bank?

I'm sorry your going through such a hard time. Are you on freecycle in your area? Loads of toys and bits will go on there before Xmas as people are sorting through old toys. As well as furniture etc. You could also go out and collect fur cones to let them dry and they make really good decorations as well as holly and fur tree branches.

Wrap some empty boxes for the nearly one year old. They will love ripping the paper and playing with the box. My daughter is 18 months old but still loves playing with empty boxes

A few little things from Poundland or homebargains wrapped up will keep the kids happy. Home bargains has cheap books and little toys often as little as 39p.

Look on your local gumtree for free stuff.

Sorry to hear you are struggling .
I wouldn't worry at all about the presents situation, as you said, the children are so small they wont know any different.
I would focus on cheap/free experiences to enjoy the Christmas period. Going to a lights switch on, or walking around the village looking at peoples lights on their houses (my kids still love that!). Making Christmas treats and art, films. Do them a stocking each with little very cheap sweets and bits in.
Have you looked into all your options like food banks etc? If you are struggling to feed yourselves?

And keep an eye on Facebook and Freecycle-i frequently go through the kids toys and donate what they have grown out of. I know many people who would happily do the same to free up space.

You could make some reindeer food with oats and glitter. Sprinkle on your lawn or by your front door Xmas eve. My two love that.
Do you have any supermarket points up for $ off? Can be used to buy crayons & paper for a cheap gift.

I second the pp who said check charity shops, lot of bargains & $2 bags of mixed toys at my two local ones :)
Christmas can be sickeningly consumerist. I saw a post on Instagram of some hideous light up, random animals......the first comment was someone saying they bought three! Give me that money and I’d put it to better use lol
Sorry things are tough for you 💐

Sorry you're feeling like this 😐 Don't worry about the gifts for family - we knocked that on the head years ago and I don't miss the shopping stress or the gifts needing a space at home.
Your children are young and won't remember anything - they'll just like the lights and wrapping paper.
In terms of food get a chicken - cheap as chips and nicer (imho) and can make a stew the following day.
I do understand financial difficulties and the expectations at Christmas but you can still have a nice day.
Really hope you can start to look forward to the day with your children.

Get the app Freegle. People post second hand toys etc on there. It's quite good when your struggling.

Sorry to hear that you’re struggling. Sadly it’s the case for many families this Christmas. Some good ideas up thread. A browse through homemade decorations on Pinterest might give some ideas.
When we had lean times at Christmas we cooked Turkey legs with roast veg and had a very small pud!
We played games, watched a bit of TV and had a lovely family time. Then at bedtime going to lock up, realised we hadn’t even unlocked the front door that morning!
DH had said no presents for us, but each secretly bought a very small gift along the lines of soap and bath gel.
I do hope things improve for you and your Christmas is a magical family time.

That sounds hard but your kids are so young and I can think of lots of cheap things that make magical traditions:

• see if your local library has Christmas craft workshops for free. Use the crafts to decorate some branches in a vase if you can’t afford a tree;
• go to a local christingles service at a local church on Christmas Eve, there will be carols and candlelight and sometimes dress up for kids and it feels so Christmassy
• come home from church and sprinkle glitter and oats in front of the house. It’s reindeer food and the kids will adore that idea.
• all watch a Christmas movie before bed, always good stuff on Christmas Eve
• hang empty socks at end of bed instead of buying stocking. Even if you just fill with a few chocolate coins and pound land stickers the kids will be so excited
• make a cheap meal you all love and still sit down and male it special even if it’s not a big roast
• if you have a local area with lots of lights walk around it with kids all bundled up

If you are excited and full of Christmas spirit then your kids will love it, even without the money spent. X

Sad thing is I'm not a.massive consumerist. It just makes me realise how tough the next few months will be.

I was already pregnant with my second when things started to change. DH lost his business and got a minimum wage job. He's now studying which is great but can't work full time and study full time too. I can't cope with the boys 7 days a week and then work evenings and he's falling behind in his studying already.

I don't think we're worthy of a food bank. We're clothed and warm and still have credit available to us. We live quite carefully and would be fine if it wasn't for the debt

We don't have a TV licence so no Christmas movies

Sorry, but if things are that tight, I don't think your DH should be studying. The priority is getting a job he can do full time and put the studying off until things are on a better financial keel. He has two children to look after. I appreciate once the studying is over that may help him get a better paid job later on but the priority is NOW when you have two small children.

Compounded by the fact that because DH is a student now we are moving from.tax credits to universal credits as they move you over when your circumstances change but I'm too scared to tell them of the change as our income is dropping but then we'll lose further tax credits on top.

Maybe this isn't about Christmas at.all

I agree - studying full time is a luxury when you're an adult and he needs to be trying to work full time to support the family.

Your husband shouldn't be studying if you're struggling to feed yourselves. He needs to get a job, he hasn't got the luxury of being a student when he has children to feed I'm afraid

Could you contact a charity in relation to the debt? Step change are great. If you’re struggling they will help you put repayment plans into place.

I wouldnt worry too much about presents for the kids at that age , rhey are too young to know any better , are any other relatives buying for them?

This. I am sorry and hope things get better.

Bambamber and OP my children are a lot older but they still like playing with boxes

Sorry you're having a hard time. When you can't afford things it can make them seem more necessary than when you can readily afford them but probably wouldn't even bother.

As our children have got older we have definitely realised how much of the Christmas crap is just one big marketing ploy. Our children do.not.care. about 95% of the stuff. They love that we are home (ie no school/work), we have late nights, we watch a lot of movies, we eat a lot of treats (they prefer the cheapest kind of chocolate!) and play a lot of silly games together. That is it.

Your DC's won't be bothered about presents at all at under 2. In fact that's often a disappointment for new parents when they're lovingly chosen pile is totally ignored. Try and make it about you as a family and just have a lovely lazy day.

Do you have some decorations and lights from last year?

I think you would qualify for a food bank it’s not like they means test you at the door so you should absolutely start going now and take the pressure off a bit
Where we are every year big groups of of people give things like advent calendars mince pies chocolates etc so that the food banks can give alongside the basic provisions seasonal things too x

Christmas spirit costs nothing. Honestly your children are so little they’re not going to notice. Start some new cheap Christmas traditions instead.
Make Christmas decorations and arts and crafts at home. Find out if there are local Christmas events at your local library as well. On Christmas Eve you could always sing carols or watch a movie together as a family.
Christmas is about family time. And magical experiences. My son and daughter love getting free stuff to play with. Our local pound store has a decent selection of toys and gifts. Have a look there. Additionally the local garden centre will have some events at Christmas time.
Charity shops sell Christmas decorations too. I’ve seen some. Another good activity is to read Christmas stories to each other. Don’t forget to take pictures too.