Anyone really depressed about Christmas already?

[AlpineButterfly]

Very sorry for posting this!!!!

Massive change in circumstances this year means that we can hardly feed ourselves let alone do Christmas. First year with two kids. We have a plan to wrap something for the boys from the.lofy - one of my childhood toys. They'll be nearly one and nearly two so it's fine. They won't know any better but we've already cancelled hosting to save money and have told others we aren't doing presents. We are also not doing gifts for eachother.

It's just depressing though. I've never had high expectations and we only spent about £30 on our eldest last year but we.arent even doing that this year.

Not a begging thread. Just a whinge

Things will be better in may. DH will get his diploma for completing his first year and can use the diploma to work a better paid job

@Alpine could you pm @Glossymare where you live

What a kind, generous offer Glossy....oh and if you could put some Christmas pud in the post for me, my address is.....
:)

Our local food bank has a policy of never refusing help to any one, they also run an advice service to help those with financial difficulties. Please do think about getting in touch with your local food bank - they are there to help.

I think your ideas for Christmas are great. Your children are too young to understand or to have any expectations.
I hope all goes well regarding Universal credit. Have you checked Gov.UK website to see if any of help if available to you?

Not really fair is it @shatner to go through op’s post to then attempt to beat her with.
Good on your husband for working hard to improve your lives. If you’re getting by, you’re getting by. Just think in 5 years or less, you’ll be better off and loving life with your 2 (or more) little ones. They won’t remember the skint Xmas of 2018

I would second a lot of things on here -

Christmas eve service at a local church

Looking at lights in peoples' windows in streets around

Craft stuff (the works do lots of good bits cheaply) Christmas rocks where you go hiding and finding decorated stones in park? Sparkly pine cones/twigs and cotton wool snow men. A mini Christmas tree from supermarkets to make a snow scene. Nativity sets often in charity shops if that is something you want to include.

Freagle - ask for a fake tree or one in a pot/out of garden - bet there are loads out there. Failing that then head out into nearest woods and find a branch - with decorations in a pot it works.

Food banks have extra donations at Christmas (lots of work places and schools donate for example - that's what we do instead of daft secret santa)

People donate because any of us could be you and your family OP. One day when you have come through to better times money wise, you will be the ones donating - think of it that way.

DVD player - Freagle or ask at charity shops.

Buy a few bits every week as you see on offer/in pound shops - stuffing, cranberry sauce etc Hot choc and marshmallows. Little pud.

Instead of films you can play games and read Christmas stories - millions in charity shops in Nov/Dec.

One little treat we have is to buy a nice Christmas smelling bubble bath. Waitrose do a clementine and ginger one for £2 and we all enjoy a festive bath.

Happy if you want to inbox me. I will post you one or two bits in Christmas wrapping if you want. Its exciting getting thing by post at any age.

Concentrate on the fact that you are a loving family with two lovely children. That's a wonderful gift. The rest of the stuff you make up as you go along and it doesn't have to cost a bomb to be special. Good luck and come and tell us about your Christmas later on. Would love to hear how it goes xX

You can get a free month on Netflix and a free 2 weeks on now tv. Just sign up nearer to Xmas and cancel straight away so you don’t get charged.

Cheap gift ideas -

box of balloons

Musical instruments- paint a small plastic bottle, fill with rice or similar for shakers.
Ice cream tub becomes a drum.

Any good at sewing? Could make cushions or cuddlies out of old clothes.

Paint plastic bottles and make a skittles set

Get husband to make use of the college printer and print out colouring pages to make colouring books.

You could make some reindeer food with oats and glitter.
Please don't put glitter out - it's very bad for birds and the environment.
At this age, ripped up paper is excellent fun. I'm not sure even the nearly-2-year-old will expect much more.

We are not looking forward to Christmas for different reasons - we are trying to make it low key as the DCs get really overwhelmed with too much happening, too many events at school, too many parties, too much Father Christmas and the other children telling them things like "grown ups don't get many presents but children get about 64" (I accept my 6yo may have mis-reported that!); we already struggle with DS' behaviour and this just makes it worse.

Last year he got really wound up and started acting out because the other children, and some not very nice adults, kept telling him that if he was naughty Father Christmas wouldn't come. And of course everyone says he's naughty, quite a lot of the time.

Hi
Can you say where you live at all roughly?
I shamefully throw so many things out, don't realise how lucky we are to actually do that alone,it wouldn't be charity at all.
We have some minions things, Dr who etc

OP sorry about your circumstances and hope things improve and you have an OK Christmas day.

I wanted to add that your DC are a great age for some cardboard box fun. Ask at a supermarket, or an appliance shop if you have one handy, for a big cardboard box (or two). Whatever presents you can prepare for them, wrap up and put in the box. Wrap the box too if you can - just with newspaper would be fine and just as fun to unwrap. They can open the big box and find wrapped presents inside - toys from loft, wrapped up choc buttons, etc. - and then I guarantee you they will have loads of fun playing with/in the box. You can join in with helping to make it into a house, car or whatever.

www.amazon.co.uk/102-Things-Winter-Alex-Quick/dp/1908699388?tag=mumsnetforum-21

Good ideas in here for seasonal fun. Ask local library to get OP if too much on Amazon. They will have fun activities and Christmas books for borrowing too.

Pintrest will have more - things with ice (freeze toys into ice cubes for playing) or berries and twigs frozen in shallow dish outside. All fascinating when you are a 1 year old.

Get the radio on and listen to all kinds of festive music - from classical to carols to the daft old musical chestnuts that get rolled out. Kids love singing along. Music is really magical. Is Iplayer radio free even if TV not? Think it might be.

Sorry you are having a tough time. It doesn’t mean you can have a great Christmas together, presents don’t need to be the main focus. Spend some time together as a family, there are plenty of free things you can do as a family. My children are similar ages to yours and we won’t be going ott with lavish gifts, I honestly don’t see the point at such a young age. You could get an empty box and turn it into a car and they’d be completely thrilled at that age! My kids favourite presents last year was 2 balloons I got for £1 to help decorate the living room Xmas morning! They played all day with them!

Why will you lose tax credits if your income drops? They’d go up not down, unless you are on about working tax credit? If he’s stopped working and you are still claiming, it could hit you hard if you have to pay back overpaid tax credits. I know someone who did this and it was a right old mess, they played victim but it was obvious they knew they were claiming when they shouldn’t have been.

Your dc’s are young and won’t really notice if they don’t get much. It’s ok to give old toys or 2nd hand, at that age a cardboard box full of balloons is a great gift.

Most of my memories from childhood christmases do not involve gifts, they involve spending time visiting people, singing Christmas songs and watching Christmas tv.

Last year we also made bird cake from stuff we had in (veg suet plus old baking bits like sultanas - mix it, stuff into open pine cones, add string to hang, fridge until hard then hang in tree - in park or garden, old folks home garden if you don't have one etc)

@Glossymare It's not about beating the OP, it's about being realistic about the situation the OP is in. Christmas is a red herring. If this was a general thread about tough finances, pretty much every poster would agree that the husband should not be studying for five years if their financial situation is this bad. I'd also say it's pretty relevant that the OP is clearly not coping with two kids and a stressed out husband moaning that he's tired and hasn't got enough time to study as is clear from several other threads.

But this post isn’t about general finances. It’s about making Christmas still feel special on a tight budget. Your bringing in other elements which she hasn’t brought up. That’s not fair, poirot.

if you have a freezer the lidl turkey crown is really nice and cheap and in stock now. If you can spare £7 and stick it in the freezer at least you know you will have a christmassy meal on the day.

I also want to say please don't follow the advice to sprinkle glitter outside. I know it's lovely stuff but you're risking birds eating it and dying and they're struggling already.

Op I am sure it feels overwhelming. Lots of people dread Christmas but I try and look at it as just one day. You get to enjoy whatever bits about it you like and ignore the rest. There are lots of free ways to make it magical.

I think you do need to really address your other issues though if that is possible. I know it's not straightforward. Definitely use anything like the food bank to make things easier for yourself.

@Glossymare A tight budget that is partly caused by the husband opting to study.

Your dh studying won’t move you onto UC why would you think that?

It is a tricky situation but I don’t I think in the long run her dp studying for 5 years could give them a better life? Yes things are tight at the moment but the kids are young and do not need expensive gifts, you can still make Christmas special for them without money? When they are teens things will be different and hopefully OP and her partner will be in a better position because her partner will have a better job?

I think we all feel as though we should be having a big amazing Christmas with lots of gifts and nice food because that’s what we see in the media, it’s all over the tv, all over social media and it’s shoved in your face wherever you go from October onwards, it makes me feel pressurised and depressed.

Christmas doesn’t have to be big and expensive.

Yep. Good for him.
Enough of your derailing now.
[santa]

So far as buying presents is concerned you are in a good place to start with simple Christmases that are about being together rather than consumerism.

Please don't use credit for food or for your children. Our local foodbank runs a Christmas project to help families in your position - people who would otherwise go into debt. The local Salvation Army do something similar so there are organisations out there who would want to help you and take some of that pressure off you.

I am sure there are similar projects all over the country. Why not talk to your health visitor and ask if she can refer you?

Having said all that - there is absolutely nothing wrong with giving a child a second hand/pre loved toy. And when it was something that you loved as a child that makes even more special.

@Shatnerswig thankyou for your concern. Like I said, DH studying is our only way out of this. Him working minimum wage only puts us further into debt. I'm not pregnant - apparently £1 Asda pregnancy tests have a habit of turning up false positives which is criminal if you ask me. We literally work all hours under the sun to sort ourselves out and life will get better. Christmas is just a little depressing.

I've just got off the phone to tax credits (and put toddler for nap). I thought the money would go down as I believed that any change in income would move us over to UC but apparently we're staying with tax credits so we can stay afloat. Great news

We just have to survive till may and DH can work with his diploma. Then only four more years to go and DH qualifies.

Hi op, I don't think becoming a student will trigger a move to UC, in fact if you stay on Tax Credits and take out the full student loan (around £8000) I believe it is disregarded by TC so if you report the reduction in income you should get more Tax Credits, plus the loan money, plus your DH's part time earnings, you should be better off than if your Dh worked full time.

I would take this chance now to make a better future for you all, as once you are moved over to UC they do take student loan into account.