Anyone really depressed about Christmas already?

[AlpineButterfly]

Very sorry for posting this!!!!

Massive change in circumstances this year means that we can hardly feed ourselves let alone do Christmas. First year with two kids. We have a plan to wrap something for the boys from the.lofy - one of my childhood toys. They'll be nearly one and nearly two so it's fine. They won't know any better but we've already cancelled hosting to save money and have told others we aren't doing presents. We are also not doing gifts for eachother.

It's just depressing though. I've never had high expectations and we only spent about £30 on our eldest last year but we.arent even doing that this year.

Not a begging thread. Just a whinge

@shatnerswig not that you know my financial details but we have dh's maintenance loan and he hardly earns more than that so the studying leaves us hardly any changes in money. DH earning a pittance is the problem. Hence the studying.

Great news re the tax credits!

No wonder you're depressed about it. It's the worst time of year for feeling left out or 'less than'... Am super sympathetic..!
Have you heard of the app Olio - it's a food (and other items) sharing network where you can get food or other stuff FOC. Some areas are less populated with Olio users than others but if you're in a bigger town or city it might be worth looking at.

It does look like good news on the UC front. Studying is 100% a good move as we'll be off any form of benefits and surely that's positive for society, etc. He's picked a good course so he'll become a higher rate tax payer. I can't see how it isn't a good move. Even if he stops after this year he'll be able to earn in around 10 hours what he currently earns for 40 hours. We just have to get to may.

Christmas wise - I was in town when I first posted which was foolish. I was in h&m looking at all the lovely woollen jumpers and tkmaxx looking at the toys. I shouldn't let it get to me. We're very fortunate. My nan has bought the toddler a 'work bench' for Christmas. He wants to be like his daddy so he'll love that. We don't need anything but shiny new toys are nice. Fwiw I got a lovely coat for £2 from Facebook, it's still too big but he'll grow into it soon

I also want to say please don't follow the advice to sprinkle [oats and] glitter outside. I know it's lovely stuff but you're risking birds eating it and dying and they're struggling already

Amen to this.

No advice as plenty given. Wishing you and your family all the best.

I'm loving the pine cone idea. DH and I always make a Christmas wreath, it was our first proper date, wreath making. The toddler would love that

Look out for free Xmas events, switching on of Xmas lights, bring your own hot chocolate in a flask (or mulled wine!). Also Christingle or nativity services, even if you're not very religious, it's nice for little ones. Invite family round for Xmas Eve instead for mince pies and a glass of cheap fizzy wine or whatever you can afford, play some board games or have a Xmas disco.

I don’t recommend wasting decorations and glitter. Is it possible to recycle glitter and spare decorations instead? Seize the opportunity to improve your future.
Once you have moved to universal credit you should definitely remember that student loans are considered. Just something to keep in mind. Have you used Freecycle or not? It’s worth a try. Also use Gumtree and try Facebook marketplace as well.
I think that your children will not notice. Honestly they’re so little to pay attention to much going on around them. That being said even at that tender age, they are capable of hearing noise unless they have hearing issues.

To put a positive spin on things you can celebrate the fact that you're not destroying the planet with unnecessary plastic Christmas tat.

Its just another day OP...and you have the most important things already..your family and being together ...do an alternate day ..beans on toast in pyjamas ..anything you like,it won't matter if you are all together,make it special in your own way.Hugs.cuddles and happiness don't cost anything and i promise you thats what you will remember...bet a million other people would gladly trade what they have for what you have....Best Wishes sent

Food bank is exactly for people like you, who are making a choice between which bill to pay and cutting back on food to cover household expenses. My mother works in a food bank and told me that most of the visitors are only come for short periods as they have found themselves having to pay for a sudden expense or are missing a pay cheque that month for whatever reason. most have jobs, cars homes etc but are only just getting by when bad luck hits. the whole point of the food bank is to stop these people spiralling into debt for the cost of a box of food. It might be worth checking with your local centre but they usually do ask for a referral. it will simply take some of the pressure off.

I think if one adult in a household of two is a full time student you get the single person 25% discount?

VanGoghsDog yes, they do. Regardless of whether that person is working (full or part time). OP if you aren't already claiming the "student disregard" for DH then you should - he'll need evidence from uni that he is a full time student (they'll be used to being asked so it should be really easy to get) and the council should backdate it.

Ive been where you are now and it's so tough. I hope things improve soon for you all. I'm sure it will.

You're doing amazing well and working as hard as you can! Don't be too hard on yourself.

Christmas is so overhyped, I detest those stupid mounds of presents that some ppl seem to think is appropriate. It's not. Stupidly wasteful in terms of money and the environment.

Small kids really don't need much at all. Some little Christmas chocs for the 2 yr old or perhaps you could make some Christmas shaped cookies and wrap up?

Do you have a smart tv or games console? If so, you could do a Netflix (or similar) free trial for a month over Christmas.

Thank you all so much. Deep down I know it'll be ok. I don't know if I'd be able to make biscuits with my eldest just because of the nature of the age gap. They're currently 21m and 9m. So the toddler is a bit young to fully help with them and the baby is a bit too old to just be left. I'm definitely up for trying it though

Christmas is about WHO is around your tree & not WHAT is under it. You have each other & that is worth more than anything you could buy xx

please op do another pregnancy test,dont listen to others even just for p eace of mind

and if negative sought contraception

your DC's are a great age for a low spend Christmas

I'll get DH on the council tax reduction tonight/tomorrow

Oh and I did 2 Asda tests which were positive and then two frer which were negative. If I were pregnant then it would be ok as I can work this year and DH will earn more next year. Then I'd also get maternity allowance. It wouldn't be a disaster. It's literally just the crunch this year. It would be a disaster if DH wasn't studying though as next year won't improve

In the run up to Christmas take your DC to Wyevale or your local Mall to see the lights and decorations. These will seem like magic to them.
Even heavily decorated local houses - no matter how tasteless or overdone will thrill them.
Start looking in Charity shops for new/near new toys and books. Look for a CD of children’s Christmas carols you can sing along to with your toddler Most public libraries sell off unwanted stock very cheaply and it is easy to find age appropriate books.
You are working so hard and deserve every success OP. Congratulate yourself on how well you are doing and enjoy a back to basics simple Christmas

I have sympathy for your situation, OP, and don't want to sound unkind, but your thread title pulled me in...

I won't see my DC at Christmas. The abusive ex has all of Christmas.

I have similar financial constraints to you, but I'd give anything to not be spending Christmas home alone and with my DC away from me.

I detest the commercialised, capitalist shite that is Xmas. It’s all spend, spend, spend, buy, buy, buy, me me me, what I want, what I have to spend on others.

For people without family it can be so sad and depressing.

I think that it’d be so nice for people to stop feeling so pressurised to spend and keep up with the Joneses, and instead to enjoy time with family/friends etc. I think you can do Xmas on a budget and enjoy you family. x

Focus on experiences throughout the season.

Take a walk and look at the lights.

Enjoy a cup of cocoa, barely warmed or basically chocolate milk for the littles.
Go to the library and a giant stack of Christmas books. You could even check out 25, wrap them, and open one and read it each day.
Make a tree for your wall with green construction paper and have the kids color little ornaments.