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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to not want CCTV camera in my living room?

99 replies

feebeedeebeedoo · 27/10/2018 14:54

As the title really....

We've always had a video baby monitor in our DDs room (she's now almost 3) but my DP has also put one in the living room. I'm really uncomfortable with that as I know he's checking the camera when he's out. Says it's because he likes to watch DD playing but I think he's just spying on me tbh.

My DB is living with us at the moment and he won't sit in the living room because of it. My DM is visiting and she doesn't like it either. I have to constantly watch what I say when I'm the living room in case he's watching.

He's just gone out so I switched the camera off. He phoned within 10 minutes to ask if the internet had gone down as he was unable to view the camera.

FML

OP posts:
MaisyPops · 27/10/2018 14:58

It's weird and creepy to want a camera on spying on people at home.

I get it if you're wanting to keep an eye on something non creepy. Emg. one of my friends has one so she can check on her dog during the day and check he's ok before/after the dog walker has been.

Chwaraeteg · 27/10/2018 14:58

Yanbu. That's seriously fucked up. You can't live your life under surveillance like that. Is he controlling in other ways?

Pfingstrose · 27/10/2018 14:58

Wow. YANBU.

sofato5miles · 27/10/2018 14:58

Say you are home so it doesn't need to be on. Tell him that no, you don't want to be stalked.

SistersOfHearsey · 27/10/2018 14:59

I wouldn't like that either. We have cameras all around the outsides of our house but really don't see the point inside. I'd feel like I couldn't relax either.
Throw a cover over it every time he goes out, or personally I'd have some fun with it and stand random objects in front of it.

steff13 · 27/10/2018 14:59

The camera itself wouldn't bother me that much. But I would only expect them to be viewed for security purposes, i.e., you had a break in and you reviewed the feed to see if the person is identifiable. I would not be comfortable with being watched just for the sake of it. Weird and creepy.

WhiteCoyote · 27/10/2018 15:00

This is absolutely not normal in the slightest op. Is this the only controlling sign? I seriously doubt it.

Troels · 27/10/2018 15:00

Cover it when he's not home, I would. But then again I'd have ripped it out and thrown it in the bin before now.

DorotheaHomeAlone · 27/10/2018 15:00

I agree with everyone else. That’s not at all ok. I actually think you should get rid of the one in her room as well. She’s not a baby and is entitled to be alone and unobserved sometimes, as we all are.

Topseyt · 27/10/2018 15:01

Take it down and tell him you will not be watched like that.

Miscible · 27/10/2018 15:02

Tell him you refuse to live that way. If he makes a big issue of it, you will need to give serious consideration whether you want to carry on living with someone like that.

AGHHHH · 27/10/2018 15:02

That's fucked up. Tell him you're getting rid of it, then do so.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/10/2018 15:02

That is bad, and a form of control, I would keep switching the camera off, it is an invasion of privacy. Watching dd play my left foot, what a load of rubbish.

Aeroflotgirl · 27/10/2018 15:03

Or cover it up with something.

DameSquashalot · 27/10/2018 15:04

I would cover it or switch it off. Very strange behaviour on his part.

Happypie · 27/10/2018 15:04

That is seriously controlling behaviour. Turn it off and tell him to phone you to turn it on when he specifically wants to watch DD playing.

Notajourno · 27/10/2018 15:11

I would remove it and tell him why.
If he protests you have my very first LtB.

Its controlling and such an invasion of your privacy.

artio0 · 27/10/2018 15:27

WTF??? Are you serious? Please tell me this isn't real...

If my DP asked to tape me while he's out I'd laugh in his face. And then assume he must've gone mental. Very sorry but to me he sounds like an absolute nutcase and I'm very worried for you, especially because you don't seem to be able to just tell your partner that you're not okay with it. Why can't you talk to him about this???

If I'm completely off, just take some videos of your daughter playing on your phone and send those to him a couple of times a day.

WhiteCoyote · 27/10/2018 15:30

Be prepared for all the “well what are you trying to hide?” spiel you’ll get when you insist it gets taken down. Sort of shit my ex did.

AdoraBell · 27/10/2018 15:31

Tell him he won’t see DD playing because you won’t use the room.

Thehop · 27/10/2018 15:34

Can’t he FaceTime to see her like a normal person?

I wouldn’t have it but wouldn’t trust him not to have secret ones either, now.

steff13 · 27/10/2018 15:41

The more I think about it, the more I think this is the death knell of your relationship. He clearly doesn't trust you if he needs to spy on you all day. And how can you trust him? As a PP said, he could easily replace the camera with a hidden one.

ladydickisathingapparently · 27/10/2018 15:41

Do you mean cctv or one of those wireless cameras? We have several of the latter but always pointed outside and only switched on when everyone is out. My understanding is that they are fairly easily hackable. How does your DP feel about complete strangers viewing footage of you and your DD at home?

Shoxfordian · 27/10/2018 15:41

Is this real? He sounds really creepy and controlling

SilverySurfer · 27/10/2018 15:42

Troels
But then again I'd have ripped it out and thrown it in the bin before now.

Totally agree. get rid of it OP.

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