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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how representative MN is of real life...

135 replies

Oakenbeach · 27/10/2018 07:45

Although there’s a huge range of posters on here, I get the impression it’s heavily skewed towards the professional middle classes.

OP posts:
continuallychargingmyphone · 27/10/2018 07:46

That was true once but now I don’t think it is.

LongSummerDays · 27/10/2018 07:46

Remember, you can be anyone on the internet. Wink

tomatosalt · 27/10/2018 07:47

Definitely think that women leaving abusive partners are over represented on here. In my experience women tend to stay. Sad

Original poster
Oakenbeach · 27/10/2018 07:47

I also wonder if there’s a disproportionate number of neurotic sociopaths given the nature of many posts!

OP posts:
unlimiteddilutingjuice · 27/10/2018 07:49

I find the same thing.
But then I joined a Facebook group offshoot from Mumsnet and I could who people really were for the first time. They were all normal people. Loads were working class.
So now, Im not sure what is going on.
Either everyone is embroidering reality to make themselves seem more affluent. Or, there are certain subject areas where working class posters are keeping very quiet and letting the middle class dominate the conversation.

underneaththeash · 27/10/2018 07:52

Seems to be full of deluded JC supporters to me.

Rosehip10 · 27/10/2018 07:52

Very middle class/high income assumed:

1.) Can't you just dip into savings OP?

2.)Have a weekend away/spa day/ babysitting

3.) Just get a new/better paid job OP......

4.) Can you go private for dental/medical issues

Hmm
hamburgers · 27/10/2018 07:52

What @unlimiteddilutingjuice says.

I'm part of an FB group from MN and 90% are normal working class mums/families. I think people fabricate a lot on MN. Although I've been pretty honest that I'm broke on here Grin and have found plenty of other skint MNers on here too.

Original poster
Oakenbeach · 27/10/2018 07:54

And more than 1% of posters have (or at least claim to have) income and/or assets that would put them well into the top 1%!

OP posts:
Chickencellar · 27/10/2018 07:57

It's not at all , I believe a lot is made up or embellished to the point that it's entertaining to read but nowhere near real life.

Nothisispatrick · 27/10/2018 08:01

I find the opposite actually, I find there’s a huge amount of competitive poverty posting - ‘well I work 70 hours a week and earn £10 a month and feed my family on a 50p shop bulking my dishes out with lentils and sawdust’. I think it depends on whicn threads you read.

StripySocksAndDocs · 27/10/2018 08:02

Depends on which posts you read (or believe).

Also once you have your idea of what MN is collectively then confirmation bias kicks in. For every "Can't you just dip into savings OP?" you let stay with you, you don't hold on to the "I've no savings, overdrawn and nothing left at the end of the month".

Jozen · 27/10/2018 08:02

Definitely think that women leaving abusive partners are over represented on here. In my experience women tend to stay.

I think that's because they come here anonymously for advice and guidance whereas the women who stay put don't mention the abuse so no one ever knows.

Therefore it appears that more women leave or try to leave their abusive partners on here than in real life, if you see what I mean.

Llanali · 27/10/2018 08:04

There seems to be enormous proportion of SEN children, and adults with anxiety.
There’s a big proportion of useless partners and pissed off daughters in law.

The questions are surely

  1. how much is the truth?
  2. is the nature of fora like these that people who are struggling congregate here for mutual Support, hence skewing this perception?
Upslidedown · 27/10/2018 08:07

I agree with @Nothisispatrick. And I can't remember the last time I saw a spa day get suggested.

camelstraw · 27/10/2018 08:13

It's terrible useful in electioneering.

Whichever side dominates MN goes on to lose....

LightastheBreeze · 27/10/2018 08:15

There is a lot of worrying about germs, cleanliness, excessive washing of everything and boiling stuff.

Unihorn · 27/10/2018 08:15

I think a lot of responses are polarised according to the topic. For example someone asked how much credit card debt people had the other day - it looked to me as though many people responding were just posting to "brag" that they had no debt. There's a similar situation with threads asking about income, budgeting etc.

Neshoma · 27/10/2018 08:15

You don't have to be middle class to 'dip into savings', you just need a small amount of financial common sense.

MN to me is over represented:
Labour supporters.JC lovers
Single parents
Have some kind of MN needs
Live on benefits
Poorly educated
Loves the Guardian
Suffered contraception failure (Rather than fail to use properly)
hate Landlords
hate the middle class
Hate the Tories
Hate anyone who reads the Daily Mail

Sleephead1 · 27/10/2018 08:16

I relate to some of it but honestly alot ive nevet expirienced. I've never known anyone go no contact with people so easily in real life ( I know in some situations you need to ) but it seems like a huge amount of people are no contact with their family. I've also never known anyone not let family visit them for weeks after giving birth. Or people being incredibly offended if a friend or family member touched their bump that's quiet common where I'm from. Also not allowing any family to visit you on Christmas or birthdays as they are private family time for your and your spouse with your children Also the message that your spouse is your family now and you need to put them above your parents / siblings ECT all the time. Its all alien to me and my family , friends , colleagues ECT havnt expirienced this but I'm working class from the north east so perhaps that's part of it.

Spikeyball · 27/10/2018 08:19

Some of the doctors, teachers, social workers etc won't actually be in those professions. Likewise some of the mansion owners won't be mansion owners.
The nature of some of the posts will attract more responses from parents of children with sn.

Unihorn · 27/10/2018 08:20

Yes there's definitely far more anxiety and SN talked about on here than in real life, but then I guess it may be easier to talk about anonymously. The no contact stuff baffles me too!

LightastheBreeze · 27/10/2018 08:21

Everyone has a huge kitchen, they must live in absolute mansions

FabulouslyGlamorousFerret · 27/10/2018 08:21

There seems to be enormous proportion of SEN children, and adults with anxiety.
There’s a big proportion of useless partners and pissed off daughters in law.

The questions are surely

  1. how much is the truth?
  2. is the nature of fora like these that people who are struggling congregate here for mutual Support, hence skewing this perception?

This!! I also in my 40 odd years on this planet have never met anyone that has, or would say 'that doesn't work for me' to shut down a request, I can't imagine it coming out of anyone's mouth!

Also, the LTB for EVERYTHING, my DH has done some shit stuff in the past, I'm so glad I wasn't on MN at the time or I wouldn't be with my absolute soulmate 20 years later.

continuallychargingmyphone · 27/10/2018 08:23

Just to clarify here, are we saying that parents of children with SEN aw making it up?