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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder how representative MN is of real life...

135 replies

Oakenbeach · 27/10/2018 07:45

Although there’s a huge range of posters on here, I get the impression it’s heavily skewed towards the professional middle classes.

OP posts:
BiteyShark · 27/10/2018 08:23

I don't think it is skewed. If you just look at certain threads then you may think so but there are just as many threads about poverty as there are about spending thousands of pounds.

I also think a lot of people say things on here they wouldn't necessary in real life especially if it's about niggles with family members. It's also a good sounding board to find it out things that bother you also bother other people but would be embarrassed to ask in RL.

Yes people make things up but I also know people in RL that embellish stories god knows why so in that sense is it any different?

continuallychargingmyphone · 27/10/2018 08:23
  • are
ushuaiamonamour · 27/10/2018 08:23

Rosehip10 You forgot

5.) Move house. Next-door neighbours never smile at you and they wake you at 8 a.m. taking out a bin with noisy wheels? Omg I'm sorry OP but you'll have to move house.

MaggieAndHopey · 27/10/2018 08:24

Surely it depends on what your own version of 'real life' is. There probably are people for whom the attitudes and problems expressed on mumsnet reflect their lived day to day experience. Other people, not so much.

BertrandRussell · 27/10/2018 08:24

It's a very middle class forum-the number of private school users is much higher than the population st large. But my father used to talk about a cartoon popular in Australia in the 1930s when there were a lot of immigrants from Germany. A dachshund saying to another dog "Back home in Germany, I was an Alsatian". I reckon a lot of first degrees become Masters on Mumsnet.Grin

Nothisispatrick · 27/10/2018 08:25

Yes to the huge number of posters with anxiety. But I guess if you didn’t have anxiety you wouldn’t need to post to get validation or help for any decisions you have made or need to make.

Rosehip10 · 27/10/2018 08:26

@neshoma

Well done shoe-horning your Rees-Mogg style rant in!

BiteyShark · 27/10/2018 08:27

I also read somewhere that it takes a lot to accept your little bubble of life isn't refelective of everyone's else's. So I can understand why some posters say 'well I have never met anyone who does that' therefore it can't be true. However, I like MN because it does make you think outside your little bubble and it is just a small bubble as we only come into contact with a few people and often tend to congregate with 'like minded' people which cements that mindset further.

Camomila · 27/10/2018 08:28

continually I think people are saying that there are more parents of children with SN (and people with anxiety) on MN because people go to forums when they need support/find it easier to talk about things online.

I find MN quite representative of my RL in the SE (I'm the poor one of my mum friends)

Llanali · 27/10/2018 08:29

@continuallychargingmyphone

No I’m not, I’m suggesting that a lot of the awful mother in law stuff is exaggerated. I’m suggesting that some of the SEN is probably not technically diagnosed, not that that means much necessarily.

I’m mainly suggesting that the nature of anonymous discussion such as on a forum, means that perhaps people who have these issues gather together as they can speak more candidly.

RedTriangle · 27/10/2018 08:30

I have posted lots of time about issues related to one of my children who has autism - but I have almost never posted about my other children as their lives are more straight-forward.

People who are worried about things, like a child with SN, are more likely to post, so the posts in general won’t be representative of society as a whole.

Creepyexgirlfriend · 27/10/2018 08:30

There seems to be enormous proportion of SEN children, and adults with anxiety.
There’s a big proportion of useless partners and pissed off daughters in law.

This. I hardly know anyone in RL with children with SEN and I have three children. People also seems obsessed with their dogs and cats, which again is not something I come across in RL.

Llanali · 27/10/2018 08:31

@Camomila
@Nothisispatrick

Precisely what I meant Smile

EssentialHummus · 27/10/2018 08:32

I find the same thing. But then I joined a Facebook group offshoot from Mumsnet and I could who people really were for the first time. They were all normal people. Loads were working class.

Same here. I don’t typically think that people embellish on MN ( or I’m blind to it) - I think lots of people with valid things to contribute stay quiet in case their contribution is pulled apart in some way.

tomhazard · 27/10/2018 08:34

Based on the number of people with children at private schools or outstanding state schools (in expensive areas) , the money people spend on holidays and the ability people have to save I would say it's skewed towards the wealthy middle class

Bluntness100 · 27/10/2018 08:35

It's clearly very mixed, you get everything from I'm skint and can't afford x through to I want to spend x on a house.

There is 14 million visitors on here each month, as such, that's what you'd expect.

You see these threads quite often, so I assume people remember certain things and blank out thr others, becayse it is very very obviously mixed. Yes a given thread can be skewed either way but over all, it's a mix.

Unihorn · 27/10/2018 08:35

@tomhazard I think those threads just attract bragging though. If you never holidayed or didn't have any experience of private/boarding schools, you are less likely to click on the thread.

PlatypusPie · 27/10/2018 08:37

MN used to be middle class but not skewed that way at all now. Neshoma sums it up perfectly in their post above, but I would add in the ‘storming up to the school’ types.

Allstarspookster · 27/10/2018 08:42

It’s very easy to exaggerate on the internet.
I have a minor disagreement with DH - turns int he is an abusive twat.
DS is finding school challenging -turns into DS has SN,
I haven’t spoken to my mum following a row a few weeks ago - I am NC with my parents.

Adversecamber22 · 27/10/2018 08:43

I do worry about advice given that is incorrect especially if given in an alleged professional capacity.

My friend used to post on MN, she really was a soliciter and I know her in real life. She gave very decent and sound advice.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 27/10/2018 08:44

I think there's a good cross section viewing MN, but posts are skewed towards extremes. There's no point going on one of those income/savings/credit cards threads to say you have an average job, marginally above average salary, and not much debt. People are more likely motivated to post if they have an unusually high or low income etc.

LellyMcKelly · 27/10/2018 08:47

It’s polarised into half getting absolutely no sex and the other half being bent over the dinner table six times a day 😁

trickandtreat · 27/10/2018 08:50

Ack! On another active thread posters are casually opting for a Tesla as their electric car choice...

HenryInTheTunnel · 27/10/2018 08:51

@LellyMcKelly  that's true. And if you're only getting it three times a day then they feel sorry for you. They couldn't possibly be in a relationship like that!

seventhgonickname · 27/10/2018 08:53

In real life when I was having IVF other confided in me that they had too,when my DD self harmed other told me the same(some from surprising sources).My DD is being assessed for autism,again in RL others have talked more about their children.
What I have never met is someone who admits that they use Mumsnet

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