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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gifts that must stay at the grandparents

91 replies

Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 18:22

Not really and AIBU but more of a what do you think...

Grandparents have bought DS a rather large and exciting birthday present (he's a v lucky boy!). However, they've said it has to stay at their house?

My first thought was this was a bit odd, as it's a present and presumably DS will get the present and then have to leave it at there's? Or is this a 'done' thing these days?

For background DS is 2.

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 18:22

Mistype that should say 1, or rather will be be 1!

OP posts:
Zcarter · 26/10/2018 18:23

It’s not really a gift for your son is it .... it is his property once he has been given the gift. How odd xx

Thisreallyisafarce · 26/10/2018 18:24

I hate this. I don't mind GPs buying toys for their own houses - no problem - but a present is a present and belongs to the child.

thecatsthecats · 26/10/2018 18:25

Eh, it's not a big deal.

If we're going to play the 'it belongs to him once he's been given it' card, then do parents ask permission for all their kids clothing and toys to be passed on and donated?

If he'll see it and enjoy it there, then I'd leave this at 'they bought him a nice thing'.

PotteringAlong · 26/10/2018 18:26

No, that’s a bit weird.

Unless it’s a drum kit and then they’re welcome to it.

WinkysTeatowel · 26/10/2018 18:27

Depends what it is. Sounds like a bribe to come to their house....

itsjustmebeingme · 26/10/2018 18:28

I suppose it depends on what it is, how often they see him, your relationship.....

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 18:28

Yeah I'm chuffed they bought a nice gift. And he's only 1 so will have no concept of leaving it there, but I just felt it's a shame he won't get to play with it whenever he likes?

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 26/10/2018 18:28

That is weird; my mil and mum buy toys for their house but not as birthday presents and if DD wanted them at our house they would be happy with that. As it is I try to leave big toys there or do swaps as we’re over run!

Soontobe60 · 26/10/2018 18:28

I suppose it depends what it is! A climbing frame for their garden because he's there a lot should stay.
A lovely teddy or similar portable toy should not stay.

woolduvet · 26/10/2018 18:28

Buy them a present for Christmas and insist it stays at yours...

Portobellae · 26/10/2018 18:28

I’m a Grandma and hate this malarkey. Anything we have bought our DGS is his. We bought him a bike which he has at his house. We bought him 2 musical instruments, one for him to practice on at home and one here so he can play with his Uncle.
Barring a colouring book and crayons, spare pjs, socks and a dressing gown which we keep for emergencies, everything goes home with him.
If it doesn’t go home with him, it’s not his, is it?

Frillyfarmer · 26/10/2018 18:29

Trust me, if it’s big and can be smashed into furniture at speed like the wooden push along train that my parents bought for my sons first birthday - it’s better smashed into their furniture than yours. 👌🏼

LivingDeadGirlUK · 26/10/2018 18:29

Its a bit odd but at that age he will have forgotten about it before he gets home. Seems a waste as unless he is there often he will prob grow out of it without getting its full potential.

I can see huge issues in the future though!

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 26/10/2018 18:30

God I wish my parents would do this. Their house would be full of train tracks and other crap, and mine would be less of an obstacle course.

kaytee87 · 26/10/2018 18:30

How much time does he spend there? It is quite odd but if you're about to drip feed that they look after him 3 days a week at their house then yabu.

agnurse · 26/10/2018 18:30

Nope. I would not tolerate that.

My parents have a number of toys and books and things at their house for their GC but those were never "gifts". They're just Grandma and Grandpa's toys that live at their house and that are there for the kids to play with when they're there.

If they give us gifts they always go home with us. I think I've mentioned people doing this before and my mum was shocked that it even happens.

SendintheArdwolves · 26/10/2018 18:31

Depends how much time he spends there - if he's there every week, it will be a good thing for him to look forward to. Plus, will stop your house getting filled up with toys!

If he's there every few months, he'll have outgrown it without it getting much use.

What do you think is the motivation behind it - are they trying to guilt you into bringing him round more than you want to, or are they just excited about having him to stay?

Sethis · 26/10/2018 18:31

Why the hell does he have a huge untransportable present at the age of 1? It's not like he'll ever remember it, and if it has developmental benefits then why insist that it remains there?

Weird all round tbh.

Jakethekid · 26/10/2018 18:33

At 1 this is bizarre. He's not old enough to get anything that's too big for your home so it can't be that. Maybe it's one of those electric car things?

What really could you buy a one year old? Be happy in the fact he will prefer the box, no matter what it is. Very weird though. Is this your parents or your in laws?

Walkingthedog46 · 26/10/2018 18:34

I have the opposite. I have bought toys for my grandchildren but been asked to keep them at mine!

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 18:36

Jake you are on the right lines - obviously he won't be able to use it right away (I guess), but will be a bit of shame when he can...

Although perhaps there are perks to them keeping it, rather than it being rammed into our furniture and tearing up our grass!!!

OP posts:
Jakethekid · 26/10/2018 18:40

Yeah I'd hate to have something like rather put on me so I wouldn't worry about it. As long as when they're using it with him they're watching him properly.

Bikes are more exciting for kids so make sure you they don't buy him that. Still a bit weird that they want to keep it at theirs though. That's a control thing. Some people forget that the toys are supposed to be for the children's happiness, not theirs.

StompyDino · 26/10/2018 18:40

It’s not a gift if it stays there. MIL is getting DD the Ikea kitchen for Xmas but it’s going to live at our house as that’s where she is most of the time.

If there are other grandkids they’ll get to play with it as much as your DS which would defeat the point of it being his gift.

woollyheart · 26/10/2018 18:46

Sounds like it is really a gift for grandparent.

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