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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gifts that must stay at the grandparents

91 replies

Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 18:22

Not really and AIBU but more of a what do you think...

Grandparents have bought DS a rather large and exciting birthday present (he's a v lucky boy!). However, they've said it has to stay at their house?

My first thought was this was a bit odd, as it's a present and presumably DS will get the present and then have to leave it at there's? Or is this a 'done' thing these days?

For background DS is 2.

OP posts:
florenceheadache · 26/10/2018 19:35

Do they have other grandchildren, do they live in a better location for the toy?

ChocolateChipMuffin2016 · 26/10/2018 19:37

My DP brought my DS a massive ride on tractor for Christmas last year, his birthday was a month before (he was one) and my sister brought him a little tikes car then! They’re both at my house, although getting 2 ride on’s for 1, 1 year old child in the space of a month was a bit odd it would have been stranger if they’d kept them at their house! They’re for my DS!!
Both my DP and DPIL have toys at their house, but they’re not DS’s toys, they’re for all the DGC and DS can play with them whenever he likes!
Very odd behaviour!

namechangedtoday15 · 26/10/2018 19:42

You haven't said how often he's there, whether you have space for it, whether the GPs ever come to your house (so they'd see him using it) or maybe they think you won't look after it for him?

I agree with pp - obviously this is your first child and you are yet to experience the sheer volume of cheap that you & your child will accumulate, making your house look like a tip brightly coloured church hall. Bite your ILs hand off with their offer of keeping some of it at their house. It's not a big deal in the scheme of things (at 1, your DC has no idea whose house it is/who bought it).

namechangedtoday15 · 26/10/2018 19:43

cheap crap!

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 19:45

They look after him once a week. We have plenty of room

OP posts:
AJPTaylor · 26/10/2018 19:48

Oh if it's one of those things let it stat there and be glad.
The novelty factor will last longer. They can make sure it's charged up for when he is over, they can put up with noise and store it.
Leaves you free to get a micro scooter or balance bike and get his little legs moving.

ChasedByBees · 26/10/2018 19:51

What does your DH think? It isn’t really a present for your DS if he can’t take it to his home.

Mind you, I wouldn’t want to have to store something that big.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/10/2018 19:57

They look after him once a week.

I think you should be ok to have some toys at the gps house, but not the best ones like the car, which in the summer as your ds will use loads when he gets older. My dd uses her ride on loads. Her little tykes car also got plenty of use when she was little for example. Don’t accept the car staying there.

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 19:59

Mummyoflittledragon - they have lots and lots of toys, probably more than we have!

OP posts:
lms2017 · 26/10/2018 20:00

Maybe as they have him once a week , they want that one day a week to be where he knows nanny and grandad have the car/tractor/ whatever and it will be exciting for them to do with him xx

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/10/2018 20:01

He’s going to be 1. He’s not going to know or care, so just let it go. Pick your battles, this really isn’t one worth having. IF it happens when he’s older and HE wants to take it home, deal with it then.

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 20:01

Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset or cross - im grateful they have bought him such a lovely gift. It just seems a little odd it has to stay at theirs as his birthday present... but as others have pointed out, this may have its advantages!!

OP posts:
SputnikBear · 26/10/2018 20:02

My DM buys all kinds of hideous plastic crap for my DC and I insist it should stay at her house so she can see the enjoyment and my home remains free of plastic eyesores

LittleRen · 26/10/2018 20:03

Most presents my dh parents get for my children I would love to keep at their house Grin. They are normally big noisy and plastic... although they have been better the last year or two!!

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/10/2018 20:05

Don’t accept the car staying there

What planet does this advice come from? The Grandparents are buying it, they can keep it at their house if they want to, they’re not obliged to buy a birthday present, the OP can’t dictate they give him it to take home.

Original poster
Whatdoyouthink123 · 26/10/2018 20:05

Annie - there will be no battle! I'm really not bothered enough to say anything, just curious to see if others thought it was a bit odd too

OP posts:
DanielRicciardosSmile · 26/10/2018 20:05

My son always gets 2 presents (or sets of presents depending on what they were) from my parents. One he'd open at home on the actual day of his birthday or Christmas and he'd keep it at home, the other he'd open at DGPs' house when we went over a day or so later and he'd keep that at their house. He spends 3 days a week there, and loves having double presents.

Devillanelle · 26/10/2018 20:07

I imagine they want the car to stay at home because they want to supervise him driving it to make sure he's safe in it. Not that they don't trust you but my DS GP nearly have a heart attack every time he sets off to walk or climb and he's nearly 18 months and I can't imagine they're alone there.

Cookit · 26/10/2018 20:09

I don’t think it’s on really, it’s like a bribe so that he wants to go there.
Gifts should be freely given. No conditions or it’s not a gift.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/10/2018 20:11

Annie
The gps are buying it as a gift. Not for their house. When you give a gift it is up to the receiver what they do with that gift. Gifts should not come with strings attached.

I agree with you on a lot of things. But on what planet do the purveyor of gifts decide what happens to that gift once given?

After the updates I see the gps have plenty of toys and so do the gps so it doesn’t seem to be a problem. I was more looking at this from my mother’s perspective, who didn’t bother at all about getting stuff for dd and how she tried to be controlling when dd was little.

IncomingCannonFire · 26/10/2018 20:13

Ride in powered car. They're a bit "common". Leave it there.

So now you know they are likely to do this in the future so be prepared to buy a second bike, etc.

Aprilislonggone · 26/10/2018 20:17

Simple fact is they worry your ds won't want to go there in time. Keeping toys there is an incentive imo.

MeMeMeow85 · 26/10/2018 20:23

OP - we have the same situation. Last Christmas PIL bought DS one of those amazing sit in electric cars...it has to stay at their house!! He was 2.5 years then, so it was totally mean to insist it stays there. For context, he’s the only grandchild and we visit around 8 times a year. So it’s also big waste.

Then at Easter, they bought him a new bike...to stay at their house!! We had to buy another one recently for our own house, so that he could actually use it regularly

AnnieAnoniMouse · 26/10/2018 20:23

Oh whatdoyouthink, you’re being totally reasonable, it’s other posters who are making ridiculous comments 🤣

I’m 🙄🙄🙄🙄 at the GP’s, it’s ridiculous. Re-reading my post to you, I can see my jaded, weary tone isn’t coming through 🤣. You get to a point where if it’s not going to kill anyone, it’s simpler to ‘let it go’ and just roll your eyes. A LOT.

It’s sort of a lovely half gift 🤣😂🍷

EdisonLightBulb · 26/10/2018 20:27

I'm ok with this, thinking Little Tikes car, parents having the DC a day or more child care then it will keep him amused when at theirs and be something to look forward to.

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