Gifts that must stay at the grandparents

[Whatdoyouthink123]

Not really and AIBU but more of a what do you think...

Grandparents have bought DS a rather large and exciting birthday present (he's a v lucky boy!). However, they've said it has to stay at their house?

My first thought was this was a bit odd, as it's a present and presumably DS will get the present and then have to leave it at there's? Or is this a 'done' thing these days?

For background DS is 2.

Ignore me I thought you said 1 not 2

My in laws did this. Every Christmas. So the kids would get an exciting present then have to leave it there. Once they had grown out of whatever it was, in laws would sell it on eBay and keep the money.
For various other reasons I stopped them having the children at all at their house, and as a result of this the kids are now allowed to take their gifts home as the only time they are ever there is Boxing Day!
Used to irritate me hugely but I caused enough problems with my in laws that it just wasn’t worth fighting that one too...

Pony? Yeh leave it at nannas!

Anything that needs batteries or makes a noise could live at PILs house, thanks. And a battery powered car? Do they not realise that DCs need to actually use their legs if they don't want to end up on mobility scooters for the rest of their lives?

My mother tends to do an excellent job at buying the most irritating toys in the world so I normally try and make sure they are left behind 😂

Not really. Pil brought bikes and go karts for my childrens birthdays from them to use at theirs.

MummyOfLD.

It wasn’t just your comment, there were lots of them saying similar. People saying ‘don’t tolerate that’ or ‘don’t accept it’. Whether, as the the parent, you think it’s right or wrong you can’t make the GP’s give it to you to take home. The most you can do is say ‘That’s not really DS’s then is it, if he can’t take it home’. ‍🤷🏻‍♀️

That was my point. Not whether they were right to do that.

I know you had a terrible time with your Mum 🌷

I know you had

My in laws did this. There was a good chance it would never be seen again. I remember mil buying him some duplo. Next time we went - 2 or 3 weeks later- it had been got rid of.

It carried on when he was older too. One I remember was that mil got him a football card album with a few cards and he wanted to bring it home where he had more cards. She said it had to stay at her house and he could take the other cards there. By this point even he realised that if he took his most prized possession to her house he would never see them again. (And indeed the album disappeared)

Yeah I think it's strange to insist on it staying there. My in-laws have loads of great toys at their house, including ride ons, but they are for all 4 grandchildren to use and they don't belong to any particular child.

It's not really a proper birthday present if they're keeping it for their own enjoyment for the one day a week he's with them is it?

They should really have bought him a toy to take home for his birthday then bought the car as an extra resource to have at theirs.

They probably think the novelty won't wear off if it's at theirs and they'll enjoy seeing him using it.

My parents and MIL have both done this. TBH I'm relaxed about it. We live in an overflowing tiny shoe box house and they both live in enormous homes so I take a pragmatic view. MIL in particular buys enormous gifts that simply won't fit in our home despite me suggesting repeatedly that maybe this is unhelpful. Apparently lots of GP do this.

Assuming you're not as space poor as my family, what do you think your PIL world say if you asked to bring it home?

Annie
Thanks . I agree it isn’t a present. I really would struggle to roll over and leave presents at the grandparents houses if my child wanted them at home. However that is after having had an inordinate amount of therapy.

I now appreciate that even if it the gps have the money, it isn’t they, who hold the power. It is the parents for they get to decide how often the gps see their dc.

Some of these stories of gps withholding prized possessions is really cruel.

This sounds like the kind of thing my inlaws would pull to try and lure the child to their house! I think I'd just buy my own version of whatever it is for my own house as a two fingers to them. However I wouldn't but a battery powered ride on thing, they would be welcome to keep that!

Ex mil used to do this. In her case it was to make the dc beg me to always go to her house. It was just one of many batshit things she did in an attempt to make them love her more. She does it with her neighbours dc as well she really is an odd woman.

I beg my mum to keep DD's toys at her house mine is like a nursery 😂
Don't know if it's controlling, probably just wants to see him enjoy it and have something exciting at grandmas when he visits but if your not there a lot seems a bit strange and would be nice for DS to have his gifts to play with in his own home, but at one he will be pretty much oblivious anyway.

I wouldn't keep a birthday present for my GC here personally. I do buy and keep other toys here though, stuff I choose myself. But Christmas and birthday presents ( and quite a lot of other gifts throughout the year ) always go home.