Ds ruining the wedding!!

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

I'm here for stories of how other people's children have ruined a wedding or tried to! I have Ds (7 tomorrow) endlessly sulking, laying over the floor, being defiant and generally a nuisance, It's my best friends wedding and I haven't been able to support or enjoy as Ds has been awful. Please placate me with your tales

At our wedding some relatives let themselves into the reception room before we'd even seen it. One of their children went round each table and took the scatter crystals and confetti off, she messed up the cutlery and favours as she did this and her parents didn't think to stop her. They also took balloons! When I went to see the room before the guests were brought in it looked really bad, I didn't realise what had happened so went to speak to the hotel staff to ask them why it looked like that. They didn't know!

It came to light after the meal when relative came to show me the big collection of 'sparkly things' her DD had collected, complete with tinkly laugh. I was fucking furious and so were the hotel staff who had spent so long making the room look nice. Why some people think everything their child does is acceptable I don't know.

A year ago I drove from Brighton to Swansea for my cousin's wedding. The house we stayed in overnight before the wedding was beautiful but too hot, no one slept well. My son and I woke at 4.40 in the morning, he didn't have a nap because there was so much going on with the bride getting ready.
He was exhausted by 2.00 the time of the service and as we sat in the aisle he started to shout 'No wedding!' He was 2 and half. The bride and groom had their son who was about 2 years old and he was also playing up. I ended up taking my boy and theirs upstairs, although I could see the ceremony through glass I didn't hear it.
By the time we started eating a few hours later he was exhausted and I took him to bed. I didn't even finish my posh meal.
My nephew who had come up with me (and my mum) drunk too much and threw up all night and morning and in the car to the onwards journey.
Despite this, I still laugh when I think about it and it was lovely to spend time with my family, we spent the following week with the rest of them in Wales and had a lovely time. (No wedding!! Little bugger)

Someone’s toddler objected during that part of our ceremony.
Was quite fun though and the registrar didn’t take it as a serious objection

Could your partner not have taken charge of your seven year old for the duration of the wedding?

Sounds to me like he didn't want to go. They can be boring and intimidating events for children. For a start, no food fights allowed :-).

Is this really a mums website?

Is this really a mums website?
It would appear not busy
I spend many days telling depressed mums, who think they are failing, that they are, in fact, doing really well at the hardest job in the world. I’ve seen bad parenting, believe me. The odd melt down is normal, kids do not rationalise if it is convenient to do this or not at age 7. Children are not predictable, not mini adults, and have an extraordinary knack of well... being kids...
If there was more tolerance in the world maybe we could show more understanding about them kicking off if hungry, tired, emotional etc...

My six month old DS did a 30 sec long poo strain noise during the exchange of vows at a family wedding last month. People gasped rather than laughed as it sounded so pained and dramatic.... I ran out mortified - luckily, as the poo straining continued for about 10 minutes. Bloody weaning.

I missed most of my wedding because I had to hold my daughter ALL DAY. I had to breastfeed in church through a hymn and missed most of the evening reception because she was only happy outside on our own. I’ll make her pay one day.

"The more it is accepted for children to be at weddings, the higher the chance you will get parents that simply don't think and won't parent."

I disagree. This has not been my experience or my observation.

If children are always taken to places where they can bounce off the walls then they assume everywhere is like that. If they are taken to different places where certain behaviour is expected from an early age, and appropriate consequences meted out for behaviour that doesn't fit the bill, they learn to adjust to different expectations.

I go to a church that is frequented by a lot of families with small children and even though services last over an hour you don't see misbehaviour, running around the aisles, carrying on.. You can always tell when children are completely new to the church experience by the fact that they behave as if it's a McDonalds.

Foxcovert YYY.

I was a bridesmaid aged three and cried the entire way up the aisle.

The day before my mums wedding I stole her wedding gloves and decided to dig in the garden in them. I was five 

DD1 was 11 months old at my best friend's 2nd marriage. Both parties were divorced; the bride's divorce papers had been translated from an East European language and it was all a bit stressful as to whether the translation was approved. The only other child present was the bride's 3 year old who didn't speak any English. There were only about 20 guests there.

At the moment when the Registrar asked if anyone knew any reason why they may not be married, DD let out a massive shout. I was mortified but the Registrar smiled and said "I think we'll ignore that one". Everyone laughed and the atmosphere relaxed.

I apologised profusely to them both but they thought it was funny and they said it helped to diffuse a tense situation. DD is now 19; the bride's daughter has just graduated from Cambridge and speaks flawless English. My friends are still married and still remember it all fondly. In fact, we saw her dad last year and he told us in faltering German (a language we have in common) that he still chuckles about it.

At our wedding, pre DC, we had 3 sets of friends who asked if they could bring their kids. We were a bit concerned but the kids and friends were great. One wouldn't settle so her Dad took her out as mum was doing a reading. The oldest was almost 3 - her Dad was our organist and as he finished the final piece, she clapped and cheered "yes Daddy, well done". Everyone corpsed with laughter - it was brilliant!

I totally agree mathanxiety.
Excluding children from all occasions where they have to sit still and behave doesn't teach them how to behave. Children aren't allowed to be bored these days.

So weird how a website for mums is so anti children. Some kids are little shits, and their parents should do better. But to say weddings aren't meant for children... what a load of bollocks. The best weddings I have been to have had children having wonderful fun with family and friends.

as a child i refused to hold my flowers up unless my thumb was in my mouth i also tried to go to my mom instead of following the bride my mom did the angry hiss and arm flap at me

my daughter bolted at my cousins wedding i was stuck in a corner and couldn't reach her my elderly aunt shot up and bolted after her for me we were in a room up a very rickety metal staircase which of course she headed directly for

my eldest son began to cry in church and my cousin stuffed loads of sweets down his neck so i didn't have to go out

i haven't dared to take the youngest

forgot to say my dd also unbuttoned my dress without me knowing flashing my boobs to the staff and my family

I get repeatedly reminded that when I was 3 at a family friends wedding, at the ‘you may now kiss the bride bit’ I shouted out ‘EWW THEYRE KISSING’

I think it is very sad the op wasn’t able to enjoy her friends wedding . Kids can and do have melt downs at all ages and there is very little you can do about it once it starts . I’ve been to plenty of weddings with my kids and we get through with lots of snacks and quiet toys . I often end up with a little crèche !
For my wedding I wanted friends and family there , we had activities for the kids at the back of the church , my mum had drinks and snacks for the photos and at the venue they had their own room to play around in .

My kids almost ruined my sil’s wedfingbthough by getting chicken pox , luckily they we just well enough to attend the wedding but we’re still a bit spotty . Luckily the photographer was able to photoshop the wedding photos as they were bridesmaid and page boy !

@KingkillerKvothe
I see it more as people being against badly behaved children with parents who don't do anything.

Kids can and do have melt downs at all ages and there is very little you can do about it once it starts

Removing them is something you can do about it. It's not difficult...

What this thread definitely shows is that it's better to get married before having children.

@marcopront there have been several posts saying children shouldn't be at weddings at all. I have never witnessed a wayward child at a wedding. Obviously it must happen, but just because a few parents can't control or don't want to control their kids doesn't mean weddings are 'adult only events'
I've seen more parents fail at parenting at the park than at formal events. 🤷‍♀️

Absolutely I agree and I have always done so if they are disruptive . My point was I try to avoid melt downs. However sometimes they happen and it’s not down to bad parenting . I would however respect any event I’m at with a child .