Ds ruining the wedding!!

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

I'm here for stories of how other people's children have ruined a wedding or tried to! I have Ds (7 tomorrow) endlessly sulking, laying over the floor, being defiant and generally a nuisance, It's my best friends wedding and I haven't been able to support or enjoy as Ds has been awful. Please placate me with your tales

😂

I've always believed that children do not belong at weddings. They simply do not mix. It is an adult occasion. Not only that, children getting bored during waiting after, and then reception, refusing to stay seated for hours (can't blame them), food, buffets, alcohol..... no way! Unless the child is older (even then, unless they are drinking age they will be bored SHITLESS for the entire day!), I think it is very selfish to bring children to a wedding. They do not belong. And even apart from how it ruins it for the couple and the guests, what about the children's feelings? Like I said, they are bored shitless with their parents at this adult function for HOURS with nothing to do. It is certainly not fun for them. It is just selfish and wrong, on many levels.

"I've always believed that children do not belong at weddings."

I have always believed that children do belong at weddings because to me they are family occasions. I also believe that their parents should parent their children, and remove them if they are disruptive.

But the sort of weddings I have been to have not been "Instagram" weddings where there have been hours and hours of photographs and hanging around. Also, my family are pretty good at parenting their children and stopping any bad behaviour in its tracks.

Even if I got married now and had a baby and/or young children, they would have no part in the wedding. Not even in photos. I'd have them staying with someone or in day care for the whole thing. My own children would not be attending my own wedding so would certainly not appreciate anyone bringing their child.

I had bags of kids at my wedding to exh. It was a bit chaotic at times and there was a lot of mess involved as my dad has insisted that we have a then-very-new chocolate fountain-but no big deal to me really-that's life with a big family I suppose. Was more annoyed by the drunk vague work colleague of my now ex h who spilled a huge glass of red wine down the front of my dress during the reception 🤷🏽‍♀️

I think they are Adults Only family occasions. But I guess everyone has their own opinion. The problem is that not all parents are good at parenting, and allow their children to run around the tables and function room. The more it is accepted for children to be at weddings, the higher the chance you will get parents that simply don't think and won't parent.

Snitzel - in both your posts, you referred to “the Mum” as being at fault - surely it’s for both parents, unless of course the mother/father is a single parent.

Not trying to be snippy, it just seems that so often these things seem to be laid at the mother’s door.

"The more it is accepted for children to be at weddings, the higher the chance you will get parents that simply don't think and won't parent."

Rubbish. Both OH and my families have always had family weddings, but both sides of the family actully parent their children, you know.

There are no small children in either of our families right now. DD is the youngest at 18, and none of the other young ones, except one of my nieces who is pregnant, are anywhere near starting families of their own.

Not a wedding but a christening one.
On entering the church my DS age 2 started waving and calling out to all his friends he hadn’t seen for some time. He was generally just very excited. During the service he managed to reach around a pew and knock a metal collection plate flying. Then when the baby was about to be blessed with the holy water he yelled out “nice and clean” at the top of his voice.
After that I took him out side for a little walk. Unbeknownst to me while I was faffing about with something else to do with my 4 year old he must have slid a bolt across the church door. When we returned from our little walk the bridal party and vicar where on the other side of the door shaking it frantically trying to get out of the church.
On realising what had happened I unbolted the door and the vicar flew forward in manner of Del Boy falling through the opened bar top counter.

I was like a swat team on standby ready to pounce when I took my four children to a wedding a couple weeks ago. There was no way I would let them ruin a beautiful and expensive day with silly noises or bad behaviour. I would have removed them from the room quietly and quickly. Luckily they were really good all day.
At my own wedding a friends child turned up in a bridesmaid dress and red welly boots. She wasn’t a bridesmaid . I swear she was in EVERY photo.

Obviously a “tell me about when children ruined weddings” thread will be full of stories about children ruining weddings. Just to counterbalance that I have been to probably about 70 to 80 weddings in my life, of those only about 4 were child free, and at no wedding did a child ruin anything.

I'm with BevBrook on this. I have never been to a wedding where children have been disruptive.

To counter SalemBlackCat4's statement I think that if children are never taken to occasions where they are expected to behave they will never learn how to behave at solemn events - because they are never made to, so how can they learn?

My 2 year old nephew ran into the Alter just before I arrived and almost knocked himself out. Dbro was giving me away and dsil was a bridesmaid so a friend had to step in and take him outside with a cold compress. He then escaped and hid under a bench in the chapel grounds where there was a lot of dog poo.
I though it was pretty funny - he’s in dungarees in all my wedding photos

7 years old? Laying on the ground and sulking?

I have a 7 year old and I would not stand for that.

I would never. EVER let him ruin my best friends wedding.
I'm judging you so much right now.
What a shite friend.

We're currently planning our wedding and have lots of small children in the family.. I'm seriously reconsidering inviting them all after reading some of these 

There was a video regularly shown on You’ve Been Framed of a bridesmaid aged approx 7 throwing a strop and sulkily stomping away into the distance. She must be grown up by now!

My friend had lots of children, mostly under 5, at her wedding. There was a bit of crying from babies during the service, but that was about it.

Her reception was at a lovely village hall, with a big green, football pitches and a play park with swings. There was plenty of room for the kids to run around and play and stuff for them to do.

The highlight of the day for the kids was when a colleague and her mate rocked up on their (very steady and well-behaved) horses, and gave pony rides to the bigger children. They bloody loved it and it was the highlight of the day.

And among my friend's wedding pictures is a lovely one of her little girl sitting on a horse with her DH, beaming with delight.

The only time the children were a problem was when they got in the way during the dancing later on.

"I'm seriously reconsidering inviting them all after reading some of these "

No, seriously consider talking to the parents of the children and ask them to remove the children if they become disruptive.

I wish more registrars and vicars would just halt the proceedings and ask the parents of the badly behaved children to remove them

I've sometimes thought this myself - or failing that, why not prompt ushers to have a quiet word and ask parents to take the little ones out for a break?

No doubt someone will say "why shouldn't churches welcome children?", but somehow I doubt the really couldn't-care-less parents will be too bothered about taking them at all

Not a personal one but I worked in A&E for many years and we once had a bride and groom in that had had to leave their own reception after their 3 year old ds fell down a step and gashed his head. The bride's dress was covered in blood where she'd carried him. The ds was fine, bit of glue and they were sent on their way but not the reception they planned I'm sure.

Haha mumsnet is brilliant sometimes. The utter outrage that SHOCK HORROR, a 7 year old can have a dull and not behave perfectly. Honestly some of you are ridiculous.

The UTTER OUTRAGE was actually to the fact that the OP said -her words- that her son ruined her best friends wedding.

So yeah, that's a pretty cuntish thing to have happened.
It wasn't a day out in Sainsbury's that was ruined. It was a fucking wedding day.

7 years old? Laying on the ground and sulking?
Please say there is something wrong with him health wise, because 7 is way too old for this kind of shit.

I think the OP means that the day has been ‘ruined’ for her, the OP. Because her son’s been acting up a bit. Not that her sons behaviour has ruined the day for anyone else, including the bride.

Bride won't probably say anything to the OP, but tell "a nightmare child at the wedding" story on MN afterwards