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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think being certified off work sick doesn't mean you can't leave the house

265 replies

Swansandducks · 25/10/2018 10:47

A colleague has been out of work on a cert for the past two weeks. Someone saw her yesterday apparently collecting her niece from a ballet class and is now going around saying our colleague is 'throwing a sickie'.

AIBU to find this annoying? The woman in question has had a very bad chest infection and is due back in work on Monday. Surely it is normal that on the last few days of her illness she is capable of going out and about for an hour or two a day, which is very different to facing a long commute and a full day at work?

OP posts:
placebobebo · 25/10/2018 21:45

It doesn't matter how easy it is to be signed off sick. If the employer thinks the employee is capable of working they can still request the employee work.
This happened way back in 2013.
If the employee refuses, then it would become a disciplinary matter.

oblada · 25/10/2018 21:48

The employer doesnt need to request the employee back at work for it to become a disciplinary matter, it can Just be a disciplinary matter for high absence. Simples.

explodingkitten · 25/10/2018 21:54

In my experience if you go to work while still feeling unwell people will still expect you to give 200%. I used to work with the public so couldn't go to the loo five times an hour if necessary. They also frowned iif I looked ill. My colleagues didn't take over enough for me to be able to do my job when unwell. If you want people to keep on working then they need the help, empathy and opportunity to do so.

SerenDippitty · 25/10/2018 21:58

Quite explodingkitten. No such thing as “light duties” in most workplaces.

Mangoo · 25/10/2018 22:19

Dorsetdays I think it's because to a lot of people, being in work would heighten any sort of stress or depression you feel whether or not it's caused by the actual work place.

As I said up thread, my depression was not work based but I would have had a breakdown at a simple thing going wrong or a client moaning because they hadn't heard back from whoever within 10 minutes etc... things that usually I'd be able to brush off and not give a second thought.

Walkingdeadfangirl · 25/10/2018 22:21

People are much quicker to take a sickie when its someone else's money.

When they are self employed, miracles happen, and they can power through.

BigChocFrenzy · 25/10/2018 22:34

I work in Germany

After a colleague finished chemo for cancer, he was prescribed a full month in a clinic in the Swiss Alps, to regain fitness and get rid of the chemo toxins before returning to work

Patients received healthy meals prepared by a chef, had gym classes, group talking therapy, went on hikes through the Alps

This is fairly standard and was paid by the state health system

Poppyfr33 · 25/10/2018 22:45

I was signed off work for a number of weeks with work related stress, I was out and about but the thought of walking into my place of work was unthinkable. People are too quick to judge invisible illness.

Awaytome · 26/10/2018 04:11

Poppy, I get you on that. HR wanted me to go in to the office to discuss my progress. I literally couldn't. I had gone in once and was faced with my supervisor, manager and HR and was asked what the psychiatrist's prognosis was. After that, having assumed information on my medical status was confidential between me and HR, I just physically could not go in to meet them again.

PBobs · 26/10/2018 04:26

I've been signed off twice - once for 2 weeks after an op and once for 2 (then extended to 3) weeks with pneumonia. Both times towards the end I would go for a little walk or a brief wander around the supermarket. Mostly to start getting my cardio up again so I didn't flop over when back at work and to test that I was up to walking and getting about again. In the case of my pneumonia after 2 weeks I found a little jaunt to the shops was too much so had to take another week off work - because my work is significantly more demanding than a 30 minute shuffle around the shops.

Your colleague is ridiculous and mean spirited. I'm amazed that anyone cares so much about what other people do really.

Zoflorabore · 26/10/2018 05:10

I saw an old school friend at the doctors this week. We are both 40.

She looked really terrible and could hardly walk. Turns out she was recovering from Sepsis. Left hospital on the Tuesday and was at the doctor on Friday as they refused a home visit due to "her age" Confused

Her employer is our local supermarket and she said they have been nothing but supportive and despite the fact she works in a specialised area and is part of a very small team she has been told to only return when ready.

This is what matters here, empathy. People who are ill should not have to justify themselves to others.

Bluesheep8 · 26/10/2018 06:15

allergictoironing well said. I couldn't have put it better myself Smile

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 26/10/2018 06:22

Last time I was signed off sick I still had to go out and get food etc, as the doctor didn’t hand me a bag of groceries with my prescription. Starving in my home would not have helped my recovery. When someone is spotted out and about when sick, it’s only a snapshot of their day.

Dorsetdays · 26/10/2018 06:38

Kalinka. Totally get that but in the OP’s case the colleague was out on a non essential trip (collecting niece from ballet) five days before they were due back at work.

As understanding as I am of colleagues illnesses, that would definitely make me wonder whether they couldn’t have managed a few hours of work if they could manage that.

Minniemountain · 26/10/2018 07:06

I met my boss for lunch whilst recovering from an operation.

I have also rung in sick walked DS to school then spent the day in bed as no one else could do it.

Puggles123 · 26/10/2018 07:14

Some people are so invested in other people’s lives, being signed off is between the individual, their doctor and their manager; not bitter colleagues who are moaning about having to cover their workload (and we have all been there). There are plenty of circumstances where getting out and about is beneficial to recovery, or a completely different ball game to going into work and doing a full day.

Minniemountain · 26/10/2018 07:17

Walkingdeadfangirl it's more likely that they have contractual commitments to honour and a reputation to keep up.

DH worked from home still in a lot of pain after knee surgery for that reason.

OhEctoplasmOnIt · 26/10/2018 07:18

This has made me a bit on edge, in off sick waiting for surgery in the next couple of months and I haven't been hiding indoors. I just can't do my physically demanding 12 hour shifts.

IslaMann · 26/10/2018 07:22

I had a hysterectomy 3 weeks ago. Signed off work for 8 weeks. On Wednesday I went to the beach for an hour for fresh air and a hot choc. I could manage that. A 10hour shift as a nurse would be impossible. Am I supposed to stay indoors for the whole 8 weeks?

KaroB · 26/10/2018 07:34

Completely depends on the reason she's signed off. I was off sick for a month last year with terrible anxiety. I was in a dreadful state and felt afraid being at home alone. My coping strategy was to for for a 3 hour walk/run over to my parents house each morning and then spend the day with them, including out & about, as a distraction. To outsiders it might have looked like a 'holiday' but I can honestly say it was one of the most unpleasant experiences of my life. I gradually started going back to work, first 2 days/w and gradually building up. It's tempting to judge others for taking time off but unless you really know them well there could be a genuine reason that they are better off not working for a while. Even with something like a sticking cold, a couple of hours out of the house towards the end of it could lift your spirits & be a good test of whether you're ready to face a full day's work!

Drummingisfun · 26/10/2018 07:44

I was signed off whem I broke my right hand. I was plastered from fingertips to almost elbow and I had to keep the arm elevated or my hand swelled and got very painful. It was impossible for me to do my job like this plus I was totally exhausted as not sleeping properly due to cast.
I could have walked to collect a child with my arm in a sling though.

starfishmummy · 26/10/2018 07:54

Very annoying. Similar happened to me with busybody colleague telling everyone that she had seen me out shopping, especially as it was a small office so the gossip got back to the manager.

What she had failed to say was that she had seen me in the pharmacy which was about three doors away from my doctors.

When I rang in later to say I had been to the doctor and got a sick note the boss said something like "Oh was that why x saw you" so I was able to explain and it was all fine. However it did make me paranoid about being seen out if I was ever off sick again!!

gamerwidow · 26/10/2018 08:40

OhEctoplasmOnIt don’t be on edge the vast majority of posters on this thread have enough common sense to know sick leave isn’t the same as house arrest. Concentrate on getting well and if you need to get out of the house for a bit then do so with no fear.

malificent7 · 26/10/2018 08:44

I would say that a holiday is the perfect antidote to stress tbh.

Teateaandmoretea · 26/10/2018 09:07

My colleague is off sick with stress and has gone to Tenerife. It makes me so angry as I am covering all her work while she is being paid to take a holiday. Yes, it will make her less stressed but it's not the point

Have you considered that if you were a bit nicer and more supportive she may not be off sick at all? Work related stress is generally about management and relationships/ environment not actual work. It is also absolutely fucking awful having been there, I resigned and found somewhere more pleasant to work thankfully without having to go back, the thought of which made me shake. As a manager if one of my team went off with stress I would be utterly horrified.