To want DH to learn to drive Manuel?

[Lipsticktraces]

Neither DH or myself drive. We’ve decided this ridiculous state of affairs cannot continue any longer and we are both currently looking to book lessons. I had my last lessons about nine years ago and DH last had lessons last year.

DH is a nervous driver and says that he really struggles with gears. He wants to book automatic lessons instead and I’m not happy about the fact for the following reasons...

It’s my understanding that automatics cost more to buy/drive/insure/repair. We don’t have much money for any of these things.

I’ve been told it’s hard to learn to drive an automatic after learning in Manuel (I intend to learn to drive Manuel)

If DH ever gets offered a job with a company car etc he’s going to be buggered.

Automatic lessons cost more and we are on a budget.

Aibu to want us to both learn to drive Manuel? DH point blank refuses at this point!

I can only drive automatics as I was nervous to learn manual. No issues whatsoever!

Yes, the lessons are a little more expensive but as has been mentioned - you need less of them.

I started learning almost 2 years ago and two of my colleagues started learning to drive a manual at the same time. I passed my test within 3 months and they’re both still learning!

Que? Que?

What is the priority here? If he struggles with gears and manual cars what is the problem about making it easier/faster to pass so that he can get on the road? If you choose to learn to drive manual cars then you will have the option.

I learned to drive in 1979 and had always driven manual cars until 3 months ago. A life-changing accident meant that I can no longer change gear. So I got an automatic and it is really easy to drive despite my decades of gear changing - it is as easy to drive as a bumper car at the fair - 2 pedals accelerate or break.

So if it gives him a quicker way to get on the road - why not go for it?

To me, a car is a car, and gets you from A to B whatever transmission it is. If your dh wants to learn to drive an automatic, than that is up to him. There are more variety of automatic cars now, and the demand to learn in an automatic car is increasing(my automatic driving instructor told me this).

I learned to drive a manual car, over 20 years ago, and failed 4 tests, it was more stressful as a learner, and extra brain drain. I am now learning in an automatic car, and it is so much easier, I feel much more confident behind the wheel than I did before. I can have extra time for observation, instead of worrying which gear i should be in, and evertime i change speed, worrying about the gears.

He will learn a lot faster in an automatic, so that will be a cost saving. Plus, he needs to feel confident and it sounds like he dislikes manual cars. Let him learn in an automatic.

I learned automatic. It was much easier and quicker to learn (far less lessons that I would have required with a manual). No problems switching to automatic after giving up on manual. No issue buying cars etc. Most new cars don’t have a manual option anyway. The only cars we struggled to find in an automatic was little cars like minis. Not entirely sure why you are worrying about the off chance of him getting a job with a company car. This almost never happens these days and if it does he will be able to quickly pick up manual driving if he has spent a long time driving automatic.

I have driven manual cars since I passed my test 23 years ago. I used to love driving and have historically driven huge distances in the UK, europe, australia and the USA but an accident 4 years ago on dual carriageway shortly after I gave up my own car really knocked my confidence. This has given me a bit of an insight into the mindset of reluctant drivers. It has also been hugely limiting.

In order to mitigate some of my confidence issues I used to deliberately rent the auto options as driving an unfamiliar car in heavy traffic worrying about the gear box is really stressful.

The thing that has made most difference to me though is that about four months ago I acquired a share in a car again. Consistently driving the same vehicle and not worrying too much about damaging it has made a huge difference. When I first got it I made a concerted effort to go out at least once a week and had to really force myself to do so. Driving without a passenger was also initially helpful.

I'm not quite as confident as I used to be pre-accident, when I would think nothing of driving from London to Scotland or popping over to France for the weekend, but things are loads better and I willingly drove my petrolhead brother around a few weeks ago. 6 months ago I'd have put him on the car insurance and made him drive me. I also can't have been too bad as over Christmas he has offered to lend me his naice car and I've accepted and am not totally terrified about the prospect of driving (or crashing) it.

In summary, I say let your DH do what will get him driving. Auto's are much more common anyway now and hopefully once you have your own car you will both find that practice makes the whole thing much easier.

It's no more expensive to drive an auto and many company cars are autos. My first car after passing was a tiptronic Corsa that cost £1000 second hand.

I struggled with a manual at 17 so put off driving then passed my auto test after 12 lessons a few years later. It would've been more expensive to have 20+ manual lessons and struggle with manoeuvres.

Why don’t you learn to drive a manual car if it’s important to you, and let dh drive an automatic?

It's more years ago now than I like to admit in public, but my late DF was a GP doctor in the days when they did house calls. He got fed up of driving around the back streets changing gears and went out and bought an automatic. Autos were rarer then and DM's little French Renault was a manual. I started lessons in the automatic and when I had mastered basic car control moved over to the manual to learn gears. Over time DM changed to autos too.

I passed my test in DM's car and got a manual licence. I largely drove manual cars until 20 years ago when I met DGF (now DW). She has a disability which means she can only drive autos with hand-controls so we shifted to autos. Now I drive electric, which is strictly auto-like because they don't need to change gears. Unlike a conventional car the electric motor is so flexible that there is no need for different gears. The last time I drove a manual was when we had a courtesy car for a week while DW's car was being repaired.

Quite frankly, I cannot understand the obsession of the UK and Europe with manual cars. Some sports cars may benefit, but for normal driving the auto wins hands down. The rest of the world has pretty well switched exclusively to autos but the European market is irrationally resistant.

Unfortunately, though, this is the situation we find ourselves in. DDs will be reaching driving age in the foreseeable future and I shall encourage them to try for manual licences simply because they allow you to drive everything. I would therefore suggest that your DH tries to get a manual licence, but possibly by following the route I did and using an automatic as a stepping stone.

I hate driving manual cars. I want to be concentrating on the road not bloody clutch and gears etc. I choose automatic every time. My mum has a Teflon (no stick) licence so can only drive automatic. It is not anymore expensive so I can’t understand where you got that idea from.

Basil?!

Que?!

I was rode a Manuel. He was SO hot and quite the dirty ride.

I always said I'd hate an auto car this year I've had to change to one as no longer allowed to drive a manual. Auto is amazing so much easier i don't know why I was sk resistant for years!

Better to stick to automatic if he’s struggling, at least if he has spent much time and money trying manual before.

Que...?

I failed my test 6 times in a manual, I just got nervous and lost my head.

My instructor suggested I tried the automatic, I loved it and passed my test first time after 4 hours in the new car.

Do you mean manual?

Personally, though, I hate manual cars. I passed my test on one but haven't driven one in years because they are a complete PITA. Why on Earth anyone would want to drive one I have no idea. If someone tried to bully me into driving one I'd tell them to nob off.

I was really hoping to get all the “que” comments when I read the title 😂😂

Congrats on the twins!

I was getting nowhere with manual and passed with automatic. You can pass in manual but still drive his automatic if you pass. You will need fewer lessons to pass in automatic and if he fails the test in manual due to nerves that is an extra cost plus a blow to his nerves.

YABU. I think you are being short-sighted on the lesson costs. If learning automatic means he will be more confident, then it may well cost less overall than needing loads of lessons in a manual. I don't think the price differences between auto/manual are significant any more.

I resisted an automatic for years, to the point when offered a hire car that was an automatic (after my car was written off) I waited an extra day for a manual to be available! Got one 6 years ago and I don't think I'll be going back to manual. DH switches between his manual (transit van) and our automatic car with no problems at all.

You could just give DH a damn good thrashing. Then drive him to Torquay to watch the herds of wildebeest. Followed by a gourmet dinner with no riff raff allowed. Remember to complain if they’re out of waldorfs...!

Electric cars are all automatic (I think) as we all move to electric then they will become a lot more common.

In this day and age there is no need to drive a Manuel. It’s easy to buy an automatic and the price difference is negligible. I’ve never had to drive anyone else’s car, although I can drove manual, and if you hire a car or get a car allowance you can just ask for auto.

DH and I have both got automatics. 9 speed, uber fuel efficient, and leaves you to concentrate on the road. Complete no brainer.

It's a surprisingly common extra, think mine was around £1800 to add to my Mini Cooper S and it was standard on DH's car. We've both said we'd never go back to a manual car, and in fact I'm a complete chump if I need to use either of my DD's cars..... I forget to change gear and stall!

I will ignore the jokes about Manuel 🤣

I passed my test over 20 years ago in a manual, and I now drive an automatic. I don’t understand the obsession now of constantly changing gears when you’re stuck in traffic.

I think your dh should pass in an auto. My dh gets company cars, and he has an option to drive automatics. He’s rather envious of my automatic car as it’s much easier to drive, as in less stressful.