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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to learn to drive Manuel?

309 replies

Lipsticktraces · 24/10/2018 20:19

Neither DH or myself drive. We’ve decided this ridiculous state of affairs cannot continue any longer and we are both currently looking to book lessons. I had my last lessons about nine years ago and DH last had lessons last year.

DH is a nervous driver and says that he really struggles with gears. He wants to book automatic lessons instead and I’m not happy about the fact for the following reasons...

It’s my understanding that automatics cost more to buy/drive/insure/repair. We don’t have much money for any of these things.

I’ve been told it’s hard to learn to drive an automatic after learning in Manuel (I intend to learn to drive Manuel)

If DH ever gets offered a job with a company car etc he’s going to be buggered.

Automatic lessons cost more and we are on a budget.

Aibu to want us to both learn to drive Manuel? DH point blank refuses at this point!

OP posts:
NualaCassia · 24/10/2018 20:30

Poor Manuel

I learned to drive and passed my test in a manual. I now drive an automatic and honestly wish I’d just skipped the manual. Automatics are so much easier to drive especially if you don’t have much confidence in the first place.

If your DH feels more confident driving an auto then you really shouldn’t stop him, especially if him being able to drive is important to you.

I’d leave Manuel out of it, I don’t think that would end well at all.

BehemothPullsThePeasantsPlough · 24/10/2018 20:31
Grin

You have a point about the budget - especially for the lessons I’d you don’t have the cash right now. Automatic is far easier though and second hand automatics are not that much more expensive nowadays. If you want to get a manual licence yourself then you’ll be able to drive an automatic car very easily - it’s just like driving a manual but with some of the tricky bits stripped out. You’ll start driving it and think “god this is a piece of piss, why did I spend so much time failing to get a manual licence?”

Stillnotready · 24/10/2018 20:31

We have a manual and an automatic, and I love, love love our ancient (almost 20 year old) automatic. I honestly don’t know why people like manuals, but then driving for me is a necessary chore and means to an end.
If we ever get rid of either cars I’d go for automatic in an instant.

PiperPublickOccurrences · 24/10/2018 20:31

Que Que? I am from Barcelona! No no is not a rat, is a rare Siberian hamster.

MadameJosephine · 24/10/2018 20:32

It’ll be fine. I’ve only got an auto licence and I’ve never had an issue. I drive an electric car now anyway and they are all automatic

MyLearnedFriend · 24/10/2018 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatharinaRosalie · 24/10/2018 20:34

YANBU. Automatic is so much easier to learn and they don't cost that much extra.

Fightthebear · 24/10/2018 20:34

Just don’t mention the war when you discuss it.

rainbowtrain · 24/10/2018 20:34



Fatted · 24/10/2018 20:35

Better to have an automatic license than nothing!

TheFairyCaravan · 24/10/2018 20:35

I can't drive a manual anymore because of my disability so we have an automatic and a manual. Everyone in our house, even the kids who have their own cars, prefers my automatic. When we replace the manual it will be with an automatic.

NoSquirrels · 24/10/2018 20:35

I learnt in a manual but we have an automatic.

You’ll have no issues with getting cars (company or otherwise, in fact loads of fleet cars are automatics), insurance isn’t based on the gear box rather on age, engine size, location, travel habits etc.

Hire cars etc will all offer you an auto option.

There will be no problems fir you to ‘learn’ an automatic - there’s nothing to learn, it’s just much easier! It’s harder to go back to driving a manual, however.

Automatic lessons may be slightly more expensive.

In general, what is most important for you and your family - that your DH is safe and confident on the road is surely what you are aiming for?

I’d ask him to consider taking his test in a manual and persevering with lessons but not say an outright no to automatic if he struggles and his confidence is dented.

Fightthebear · 24/10/2018 20:36

Ha - just got the “learn it from a book reference”. On fire.

Unicornandbows · 24/10/2018 20:36

Yabu at the end of the day he needs to be confident.

You can do manual yourself and let him be automatic.

ShatnersBalloonFromPennywise · 24/10/2018 20:37

It would broaden his motoring horizons if he passed his manual test eg he might need to drive someone else's vehicle at some point. But if he's certain he couldn't do it, then encourage him to go for the easier option.

MakeLemonade · 24/10/2018 20:37

The difference between manual and auto lessons in my experience was about £1 and more than offset by the number of lessons I would have needed to pass. I only had 10 hours in an auto, hated driving a manual previously (albeit 10+ years before taking up lessons again) and suspect I would have needed a lot more lessons. I think that’s why auto lessons are more expensive, it’s so much easier/quicker to pass the instructors make less money!

I also think your knowledge of automatic cars is v out of date and not accurate. Also, within the next decade we will be shifting to electric vehicles as the norm so manual driving will be an unnecessary skill (until the zombie apocalypse, obvs).

PiperPublickOccurrences · 24/10/2018 20:37

If you pass in a manual, you can drive both.

If you pass in an automatic, you can only ever drive automatics which is a pain in the arse.

I drive a manual car but find it very easy to adjust to an automatic if needs be. I prefer a manual - but that's just personal preference.

Thenewdoctor · 24/10/2018 20:38

I drive an auto. It’s great. I can drive a manuel (que) but I find an auto easier (I have a disability)

Lindy2 · 24/10/2018 20:38

Perhaps he could start with manual lessons and switch to automatic if he is struggling. My DH recently bought a new second hand car. He ended up getting an automatic (had always driven manuals up to then) as almost all of the cars he was viewing were autos. He absolutely loves it and says he wouldn't go back to driving a manual now.
Congratulations on the birth of your twins. You're doing well to even be able to type in sentences with 2 ten week old babies and can definitely be forgiven a spelling mistake!

VeryQuaintIrene · 24/10/2018 20:38

Automatics are much more common and cheaper than they used to be. I learned on a manual and can drive them, but now have an automatic and it's much easier.

SharpLily · 24/10/2018 20:38

I'm not sure where you've got your ideas about automatic cars from but you're really worrying about nothing. Go for automatic and just get the job done - as a previous poster pointed out, cars are changing dramatically around us and manual or automatic won't even be choice in a few years.

In my opinion nervous drivers are some of the most dangerous drivers on the road so the most important thing is that he is comfortable. Forcing him into a manual is not going to do anyone any favours.

If you want to stick with manual then by all means do, you won't have any problem switching between manual and automatic. It's the other way round that's the problem.

JosellaPlayton · 24/10/2018 20:39

😂 poor Manuel

But seriously, he’s a nervous learner, if he finds an automatic easier then let him learn in an automatic. I learned in a manual, drove one in the U.K. for 12 years and then moved to the US so now drive an automatic as manuals are as scare as hen’s teeth here. Even if I move back to the UK I’ll stick with the auto as they’re so much easier. And it’s worth considering that if he passes with less lessons and in fewer attempts then this will save you money. It’s also not harder to drive an automatic after learning in a manual, it’s a hell of a lot easier and will probably leave you wondering why you ever bothered with the manual in the first place!

willstarttomorrow · 24/10/2018 20:39

I am assuming your DH would need to be able to converse in Spanish! But seriously, the UK is strangely wedded to manual cars and logically it makes sense to drive an automatic now that their performance is equal to manual. I live in a very hilly city, drive a manual (which I like) and really would be better of in an automatic with all the stopping and starting on hills. Lots of friends passed in an automatic and the benefits of not driving far are outweighed by having the ability to drive, even if on an automatic licence. Several use company cars and often use car hire. As much can go wrong with a manual as an automatic (clutch for example) and I think that them being more expensive to repair is a bit of an urban myth these days. Lessons may cost more but your DH is unlikely to need as many as learning in a manual, particularly if he struggles with gears.

Rockbird · 24/10/2018 20:39

Ignoring all the (brilliant) Manuel jokes... Grin

I've been driving for 30 years (fuck me!) and over the last 5 years have changed both our cars to autos for once and for all as both dh and I have had enough of gear changing to last a lifetime. It really is pointless these days. We haven't had any problem with any of the autos we've had over the years and they're much nicer to drive. I love driving!

elQuintoConyo · 24/10/2018 20:39

Which man man with beard?

Let him be , i'd rather drive an automatic, gears have pissed me off since the Great Ford Orion Brown-Trouser Incident of 1992.