To want DH to learn to drive Manuel?

[Lipsticktraces]

Neither DH or myself drive. We’ve decided this ridiculous state of affairs cannot continue any longer and we are both currently looking to book lessons. I had my last lessons about nine years ago and DH last had lessons last year.

DH is a nervous driver and says that he really struggles with gears. He wants to book automatic lessons instead and I’m not happy about the fact for the following reasons...

It’s my understanding that automatics cost more to buy/drive/insure/repair. We don’t have much money for any of these things.

I’ve been told it’s hard to learn to drive an automatic after learning in Manuel (I intend to learn to drive Manuel)

If DH ever gets offered a job with a company car etc he’s going to be buggered.

Automatic lessons cost more and we are on a budget.

Aibu to want us to both learn to drive Manuel? DH point blank refuses at this point!

I think it's less manly to drive an automatic

You’re so right GadsdenFlag, this is why beards are so popular now, compensating for the lack of a knob to hold on to.

Less manly to drive an automatic? Any man who judges his masculinity by whether he drives something with gears is the very opposite of manly.

DS just passed his test in a manual and went straight out and purchased an automatic.

DH drives an automatic these days. Hasn't driven a manual for years except hire cars on holiday. He is a great driver and he doesn't even have a beard

I don’t think it’s men who are judging their masculinity Miscible, just GadsdenFlag

Role reversal. Let's say DH already could drive but you wanted to for sake of the kids etc.

You were a 'nervous driver' and struggling with gears would prefer to learn manual.

DH then complains about the cost of automatic cars etc and is a bit pushy about wanting you to learn manual to the point that you point blank refuse.

Would you think he was BU?

I imagine you possibly would....

@lipsticktraces , unless your husband is a postie or a delivery driver then I really wouldn’t worry about him only having an automatic license.

We live in the sticks too. I have been driving for years, but city-boy dh couldn’t drive. He tried for a good year in manual cars but it destroyed his confidence so much he stopped lessons and that was that for 4 years. By this point, not being able to drive was becoming a problem, so we bought an automatic and his instructor gave lessons in that. He passed in no time and is a very confident driver now. It’s really made life so much easier for everyone.

I loved driving manuals, loved firing through the gears, loved the perceived ‘extra’ control I had over the car, but I’d rather have a husband who can drive something rather than one who can drive nothing. And, I’m a complete convert to automatics now! For overtaking, the automatic is great, it leaps at the touch of a peddle and is more responsive than the gears were. In town, it’s easy peasy driving. Very enjoyable cars.

I was an incredibly nervous learner, it took me years of having manual lessons with different instructors until I finally gave up. My dh and family told me that I would get the hang of it, that I should just get out and drive which wasn't helpful when I was having a migraine from the worry of getting into the bloody thing. I pleaded for a small auto to learn in but funds wouldn't stretch so I stayed on foot with the kids. I was told by my brothers that having an automatic licence would limit me, was only for wusses blah blah, but surely being able to drive anything at all trumps all that.

Dh came home with a huge 7 seater Scenic and said it would be no problem for me to learn to drive in. It was awful, ruined any sort of confidence I had begun to build up. Out of desperation I found an older automatic Clio that was cheap and I went and bought it. Within a few days I was driving, no more migraines, no more being anxious and sick at the thought of driving. I willingly got into the car for lessons and trips around our town. It has been worth every penny a hundred times over, I loved that car. I have just replaced it with an automatic Captur which dh has designs on, he now has an automatic Scenic and would never go back, plus those brothers who said automatics were for wusses are indeed both driving hybrid autos .

I cant believe I let other people in my headspace for so long, automatics are great. We have never had a problems with choice, upkeep or insurance at all. Its so easy to drive you can concentrate on the road properly and its great in slow moving traffic for the many school runs I do. Would never go back. You cant dictate what someone else drives, its controlling behaviour and franky none of your business. OP your dh should tell you to stuff your opinion and get his auto lessons. I only needed 1 in the clio and then lots of practice.

Oh and my new Captur has 6 gears for when dh wants to mess around with gears on the motorway. I never feel the need, it goes like the clappers as it is (1.5ltr diesel )

I never feel the need, it goes like the clappers as it is (1.5ltr diesel )

Is that a joke?