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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to learn to drive Manuel?

309 replies

Lipsticktraces · 24/10/2018 20:19

Neither DH or myself drive. We’ve decided this ridiculous state of affairs cannot continue any longer and we are both currently looking to book lessons. I had my last lessons about nine years ago and DH last had lessons last year.

DH is a nervous driver and says that he really struggles with gears. He wants to book automatic lessons instead and I’m not happy about the fact for the following reasons...

It’s my understanding that automatics cost more to buy/drive/insure/repair. We don’t have much money for any of these things.

I’ve been told it’s hard to learn to drive an automatic after learning in Manuel (I intend to learn to drive Manuel)

If DH ever gets offered a job with a company car etc he’s going to be buggered.

Automatic lessons cost more and we are on a budget.

Aibu to want us to both learn to drive Manuel? DH point blank refuses at this point!

OP posts:
Betsy86 · 24/10/2018 20:25
Grin
Heartbrokengirl14 · 24/10/2018 20:25

Honestly I struggled with manuals and automatics so much better. I spent so much trying to learn in a manual and I have learn more in3 lessons then I did with 15 lessons

Meatbadger · 24/10/2018 20:25

I think he should learn it from a book

AornisHades · 24/10/2018 20:26

Your understanding of automatics is a good 15 years out of date. They're a lot better than they used to be and a lot more popular.
If the important thing is to get licensed then let him learn in an automatic. He can always do a manual test when he's more confident.

dementedpixie · 24/10/2018 20:26

My dh drives an automatic by choice but can drive both. You can't force him to drive something he isn't comfortable with

Shoppingwithmother · 24/10/2018 20:26

If they are more expensive, it will be to make up for the fact you need fewer of them as it’s much easier

GinIsIn · 24/10/2018 20:26

All the way to Barcelona?

han01uk · 24/10/2018 20:26

We compromised on my husband learning in an auto as he was also very scared,and it was that or nothing quite frankly. I decided to cut my losses,and we now have two auto cars,which haven't worked out any more expensive to buy/run/insure. In fact,I'm not sure how I would manage with gears nowadays!

Ellisandra · 24/10/2018 20:26

Most company car schemes give you an allowance and you pick from a list of acceptable cars, which will include automatics.

I understand your concerns about ongoing costs of automatics, but I think you have to take his feelings into account. You can’t bully him into it.

Automatic lessons might cost more, but what if he has half as many?
An automatic car would cost more potentially, but choose a car a year old and negate the difference.

If you were scared of a manual, how would you feel?

Why compromise with him starting on automatic lessons with a promise to consider switching to manual after X weeks for a try?

Original poster
Lipsticktraces · 24/10/2018 20:27

Grin I didn’t even realise my error there. In my defence I have ten week old twins and haven’t actually slept in as longGrin

I don’t care if he drives Manuel, Basil or Sybil as long as it’s not in an automatic car!

@ForalltheSaints we live in the sticks with limited public transport.

OP posts:
Twillow · 24/10/2018 20:27

Manuel Grin you made my day!
But seriously, having driven a manual for donkey's years, I now often drive an automatic at work and LOVE it, it;s so much easier. I would have no hesitation in buying one, and also don't have any trouble switching between the two. If the gears are the thing troubling him, let him learn automatic.

Peachpebbles · 24/10/2018 20:27

Where does Manuel need to go? Why doesn't Manuel learn to drive? I think he's a c.f.

Sallystyle · 24/10/2018 20:27

I can only drive auto. It has never been an issue.

I didn't find it that more expensive? I didn't have a problem getting a car on loan when I was in an accident.

But it might be fun to give Manuel a good ride.

Poloshot · 24/10/2018 20:27

Yeah learn to drive in a manual then you can drive both

TheFairyCaravan · 24/10/2018 20:27

Que?

I was so hoping someone would post that. 😂😂😂😂

SugarandVinegar · 24/10/2018 20:27

Automatic is the way forwards - let him choose what he wants to drive
you can't force a manual on him if he's not confident driving one.
Better he drives an automatic than ends up too nervous to drive at all.

They're not more expensive to buy, insure or repair unless things have changed drastically in the last 10 years.

confusednorthner · 24/10/2018 20:27

Personally have no trouble with gears myself but a friend tried and failed her test countless times in a manual, swopped to automatic and passed fine so if it works for him then let him choose.

Cherries101 · 24/10/2018 20:28

All new cars in the UK will have be electric by 2040. Electric means automatic. That’s why autos are getting cheaper both to buy and to run. To be honest your priority should be to encourage him onto the road in the shortest time possible not faff around with stupid demands!

Lucked · 24/10/2018 20:28

I think it depends how many lessons he has had in the past. If he’s has had in excess of 20 lessons over the years and still has issues with gears I am inclined to agree with him. If he has only had a handful of lessons then he should probably persevere a bit longer.

If you learn manual you will be able to drive an automatic no problem. Most automatic drivers start off with manual and switch with no issues. I go between the two without much thought.

MsRinky · 24/10/2018 20:28

Auto lessons might me more expensive, but you need fewer of them. I struggled for ages to learn in a manual, and then struggled to get used to each new gearbox in different cars. I now have an auto, and won't ever bother with a manual again. Any car, get in, drive perfectly straight away. The technology has advanced, why wouldn't you take advantage? You wouldn't be insisting on a car with a manual choke, or one that needs winding up at the front. Self driving cars are only a few years away anyway.

Poloshot · 24/10/2018 20:28

An automatic in the same model is more expensive than a manual

dingdongdigeridoo · 24/10/2018 20:28

Automatics aren’t that much more expensive to buy, and I don’t think mine has cost me more to run. Insurance is about the same and they’re quite fuel efficient as you aren’t driving in the wrong gear.

If it’s a company car, there will usually be an automatic option. We were offered company cars at my old work and there were loads of automatic estate cars and 4x4s.

Lessons worked out cheaper for me than DH who drives a Manuel Wink because it only took me 12 weeks to pass my test, whereas he took several months.

But... I know nothing!

YouTheCat · 24/10/2018 20:29

With 10 week old twins, how are you managing to type at all? I could hardly find my own hands when my two were that age.

pouraglasshalffull · 24/10/2018 20:29

YABU he should learn manual

RomanyRoots · 24/10/2018 20:29

would Manuel be happy about this?

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