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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

CF in maternity clinic

104 replies

LongHotSummer24715 · 23/10/2018 13:18

I'm in the hospital maternity clinic and it is packed as usual. Everyone given the same appointment time so not enough chairs for women and partners. It's the same every week and so badly organised.
A young woman and her partner sat down beside me, she went to get water and someone else took her seat. When she came back her partner gave her a sheepish grin and continued to look down at his phone leaving her standing! I'm 39 weeks but offered her my seat as she seemed embarrassed. Lots of people were looking at him with mouths open but no one said anything.
Now that I look around there are quite a lot of men sitting with women standing. Considering where we are I don't think I'm being unreasonable to expect the expecting mammys to get a seat Confused.

I don't bring my DH or DS here as it's always a 3 hour wait in a sweltering waiting room to see all the consultants

OP posts:
Blanchedupetitpois · 23/10/2018 13:19

What a toad!!

IStandWithPosie · 23/10/2018 13:20

I’d have shamed him and said “your pregnant partner needs a seat”

AlphaBravo · 23/10/2018 13:20

Why didnt you tell him to move? There are normally signs clearly stating seats are for expecting mothers ONLY.

sandalsinthebin · 23/10/2018 13:20

YANBU. They (the seated men) haven’t been brought up properly.

Nanny0gg · 23/10/2018 13:21

She's got a lifetime of joy to look forward to, hasn't she?

FittonTower · 23/10/2018 13:21

There are HUGE signs all over my maternity waiting rooms telling partners to stand for pregnant women, its a shame they're necesarry but i think it's a common problem.
I used to stand for other pregnant women (because i was usually more comfortable stood) but it amazed me that i had too when plenty of men/women accompanying would stay sat.

DeltaFlyer · 23/10/2018 13:21

When I was going to see the consultant the receptionist was very good at shouting out that the seats were for priority for pregnant ladies and other people should stand and let them sit.

PositivelyPERF · 23/10/2018 13:22

Speak to someone, receptionist or nurse and see if they can do something. I would have had no difficulty in telling people to give their seats up for actual patients/clients, in my old job.

Gromance02 · 23/10/2018 13:22

If I was a bloke, I wouldn't have offered my seat as long as the woman's 'DP' was sat down. That would be ridiculous.

GummyGoddess · 23/10/2018 13:23

Wouldn't just shame him! The staff should point out to all the men and any non pregnant women that they should be giving up their seats if there are pregnant women standing!

Original poster
LongHotSummer24715 · 23/10/2018 13:27

The nurse just came out and roared at the men to stand up and let the women sit down Grin I'm happy now!

OP posts:
Bluelady · 23/10/2018 13:29

How incredibly sad it should be necessary to tell them.

PositivelyPERF · 23/10/2018 13:29

The nurse just came out and roared at the men to stand up and let the women sit down grin I'm happy now!

I bet she’s a Mumsnetter and was reading this on her lunch! 🤣

Celtia · 23/10/2018 13:30

If that had been my partner, I'd have sat on him in all my massive-bumped and ever so slightly incontinent glory

but no, you're not wrong to think this a pretty sad state of affairs.

Celebelly · 23/10/2018 13:30

He sounds like a peach.

Mind you, I would have just said 'Oi, give me your chair' (not that I think my DP would do that in the first place!) if I came back to that. But the fact she didn't feel comfortable to say anything to him speaks volumes.

0lgaDaPolga · 23/10/2018 13:32

I’ve seen similar at a few maternity clinics I’ve been to. Not enough seats for everyone and a lot of male partners sat in seats leaving heavily pregnant women standing.

PositivelyPERF · 23/10/2018 13:34

It used to be the same when I had to take my husband to the cancer clinic. Lazy bastards sitting on their arses, while ill and even terminally ill people stood.

MoltenLasagne · 23/10/2018 13:37

OP, any chance you can get chatting and drop MN into conversation? Sounds like she needs a bit of extra support.

Original poster
LongHotSummer24715 · 23/10/2018 13:41

That's what I was thinking moltenlasagna she looked so embarrassed that he didn't offer his seat. He's actually still sat - most of the other men stood but not all of them!
My DH just popped in with a surprise snack and quickly ran out again - this place is awful today.

OP posts:
Dulra · 23/10/2018 13:44

*LongHotSummer24715

The nurse just came out and roared at the men to stand up and let the women sit down grin I'm happy now!*

Was just about to post that the midwifes will be out soon to get them to moooove Grin. Ignorant louts

MissConductUS · 23/10/2018 13:45

My DH worked in London in the late 1980's. He tells me that he quite commonly was the only man in his tube car to offer his seat to an obviously pregnant woman who boarded the train after he did. So this is not a new problem unfortunately.

CoolCarrie · 23/10/2018 13:47

What a prick he is! She should have told himto move his arse

cheesefield · 23/10/2018 13:49

No way would I be able to just sit there with my mouth shut. Why did no one else confront him?

Volant · 23/10/2018 13:50

When I was heavily pregnant I remember a woman calling from the other end of the carriage to ask whether I wanted a seat. I gratefully accepted, and in swapping places we made sure we knocked into as many studiously spread-out newspapers as we possibly could.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 23/10/2018 13:50

I hate to be that person, but, um ... he's still sitting after being told to stand? And he gave her a sheepish smile, and she's not said 'stand up, you cheeky sod'?

Maybe he needs the seat and maybe they're both embarrassed about it.