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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

9 year old DD - just plain greedy!

255 replies

user1497545304 · 22/10/2018 16:19

Sorry... posting here for traffic Confused

DD has always had a big appetite... but recently she has become unbearable, always eating, throwing tantrums etc.

She’s always been on the ‘fuller’ side of healthy, but recently I’ve been noticing she’s looking quite overweight. I decided to step back and track what she ate yesterday:
2 slices of toast with generous amount of Nutella, a banana and small bowl of shreddies.

2 hours later was rolling about on the floor claiming she was ‘starving’ I gave her an apple. Checked up on her a minute later to see her munching on digestive biscuits from the cupboard! Shock

For lunch she insisted on making herself TWO wraps with lots of ham and cheese inside, a bag of salt and vinegar crisps. Said she was still hungry, I offered her carrot and houmous which she reluctantly accepted.

Mid afternoon... caught her raiding the fridge, getting herself a large chunk of cadbury, and a yoghurt.

Dinner was new potatoes, steamed fish and lots of veg. She ate all of it, demanding more which I gave her, and then proceeded to make herself another bowl of shreddies afterwards.

8pm, screaming she’s hungry, that we’re starving her (!!) she had a tall glass of orange juice and a marmite crumpet.

If you ask me, that’s ridiculous! I try to make her only eat healthy snacks etc, but frankly I sometimes need an easy life. Both DH and I are fit, healthy weight. For some comparison, I, 33 years old ate:

Scrambled egg on toast breakfast.

Apple mid morning.

Salad with falafel & quinoa lunch. Cappuccino.

Greek yoghurt & honey mid afternoon

Same dinner

Chunk of cadbury (less than DD) around 9pm.

Her brother, 11, also has a good appetite, eats less than her.

What do I do ?!

OP posts:
GeorgeTheHippo · 22/10/2018 17:04

I agree with those posters who have said - too much sugar and carbs. That's a massive breakfast! I would be starving all day if I ate that too, it's just setting you up to crave sugar and carbs all day.

Baby steps I think, stop buying Nutella and orange juice for a start. Then step down the carbs and boost her protein. Change her diet bit by bit.

Also the rolling around is attention seeking and needs ignoring, definitely not feeding!

purple8pig · 22/10/2018 17:05

opininggambit

sorry to hijack a thread but im sure I have BED I don't want to go to the doctors (aware I should and I will eventually but im not there yet) you say you have/had BED, could I ask if you have found anything helpful in managing it?

3luckystars · 22/10/2018 17:06

That's so hard.

Its a full time job to monitor children all day, especially if you have other children too and are busy. It's so stressful when its on your mind all the time, and you don't want them facing life overweight.

More especially when you can control yourself, its hard to understand why she is so different. But she is only a child and doesn't fully understand, she just wants to eat nice things.

Even small changes can make a difference over time. Don't have the crisps in the house. Say no to things. If you stop the snacks, she might eat more at the mealtimes. Let her get a bit hungry before her dinner. (I would find this extremely hard)

That's all you can do really. Just keep giving her extra drinks of water and hope for the best.

liquidrevolution · 22/10/2018 17:07

Rebelfit did a blog post about this, might be worth a read...

When girls gain weight

Iliveinazoo · 22/10/2018 17:08

Opininggambit I do hear what you're saying, it's just anytime you suggest to anyone that there may be a problem with ds, it's either dismissed as he's slim, or I'm told I'm obviously not feeding him enough filling foods, which is bollox.

He's only 10 and he's been like this since he was old enough to feed himself, I do actually think I know what caused this but I won't say on here but it wasn't the result of any trauma, more a person creating terrible habits from an early age.

Jaxhog · 22/10/2018 17:08

If it isn't in the house - she can't eat it. So ditch the biscuits, Nutella, chocolate and crisps for a start. And the OJ (mostly sugar). Stock up on fresh fruit and veg, and get her a really cool water bottle.

If she doesn't exercise much, go on a family walk. Pack a nutricious picnic.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 22/10/2018 17:10

I think she's eating too much sugar, OP. It doesn't do anything useful in the body (assuming normal levels). I would start cutting it out as far as possible. I don't understand why Nutella is feted as a food because it really isn't, it's sugar sop that spikes blood sugar.

If I eat sugar, I find it really hard to regulate. If I don't eat it then I don't struggle. I think it's an intolerance and perhaps your daughter has it too. A large glass of orange juice is a whack of calories, sugary ones. Unnecessary.

You give yourself scrambled eggs in the morning - make them for your daughter also - and eat together.

I thought your post was a bit judgemental and 'look how much better I'm doing', too, sorry. Your daughter relies on you, take responsibility for helping her eat better.

cheesefield · 22/10/2018 17:10

Sounds like me as a child tbh. I was a pig. I just really liked food and eating. Still do but now I'm an adult I keep an eye on it.

I was an overweight child and I most certainly wish my parents had stopped me eating. Her stomach is probably stretched from over eating, so she is hungry on normal portions. A few days on normal amounts and listening to her whinge and her stomach will get used to smaller portions again.

adaline · 22/10/2018 17:11

If you eat so well, why do you allow her access to all that junk food? At nine, there's no way I'd have been allowed to just make myself a bowl of cereal after dinner or get a packet of biscuits out and start eating them!

Wildheartsease · 22/10/2018 17:12

Sweet or very carby things (like cereal or bread) make me very hungry only a short time after I've eaten a large portion of them. I know that this can't be real hunger but it feels like it. It is also true that they are very moreish and eating one portion creates a desire for more anyway.

Your daughter is probably telling the truth about feeling hunger when she doesn't actually need food.

You could help change things for her by moving away from sweet/carby meals or snacks. Eggs for breakfast (rather than cereal /toast/nutella) fish/meat cheese based meals for lunch and dinner. Choose things she likes and let her have good portions of them.
Don't have sweet snacks in sight/easy reach and don't talk about them.

Make snacks veg or things like babybel.

Drinks of water or milk are good. (Mock sweetened drinks make me hungry.)

Yes - sadly, exercise is good too. Skating - skate-boarding - dancing - skipping - swimming are all just as good as school team-sports if she feels that she needs to be more 'girly'.

sickmumma · 22/10/2018 17:13

An example of what my DS eats and I think he eats loads (more than I do that's for sure - and over what the dietician recommends for his carb intake - he's diabetic) he is also a skinny little thing and I worry he's underweight

Breakfast - 4 wheatabix, some fruit

Snack - packets of small biscuits/breadsticks or some ham and cheese/chicken

Lunch - mini wrap with ham and cheese or a thin bagel with chicken, fruit (when I say fruit a portion so one apple or a pot of grapes etc), a bag of crisps or popcorn, a drive and a mini muffin or similar.

Snack - fruit/yogurt/crumpet or popcorn usually.

Dinner - small/medium adult size portion of whatever we eat - today he will have roast at mil's and eat a handful of about 3/4 different veg, a good bit of meat, two Yorkshire puddings, 4 roast potato halves and stuffing plus a pudding.

Snack - milk and a biscuit.

Occasionally he is hungry inbetween and will have carrot sticks/ cuecumber or something low carb such as a hard boiled egg, ham or chicken.

He also drinks a lot of water/
Squash throughout the day, occasionally a fizzy drink on special occasions.

I would say perhaps make some
Swaps to some of the foods DD is having, Nutella on toast and shreddies are very high sugar and won't fill her for long.

MereDintofPandiculation · 22/10/2018 17:14

I ate hugely at that age - it was post wartime rationing when eating well was seen as a good thing, and I'd get complimented in restaurants. But I wasn't overweight and was only 7st 8 when I went to uni.

So a big appetite isn't out of the ordinary.

But I wasn't allowed to fill up on crisps and biscuits (easy to stop - don't have them in stock). By that age I wasn't having snacks between meals. And I wasn't allowed to help myself to food from the fridge without asking. Try replacing the nutella with scrambled egg.

There's nothing wrong with having a good appetite for lunch (what your DD probably thinks of as "starving") and it's not a good habit to get into to always be eating when you're not actually hungry.

Iliveinazoo · 22/10/2018 17:15

I don't know why people keep saying why do you let her.

My 10 year old is old enough to help himself to food. I don't lock my fridge and cupboards. I'm not in the room with him 24/7.

If I come downstairs and he's eating a bowl of cereal am I supposed to take it off him and bin it?

Ds takes food into the garden to eat.

anniehm · 22/10/2018 17:16

Don't buy food which you don't want her eating - eg buy a small packet of nice biscuits to share on the weekend, never stock up a biscuit barrel (I'm bad at scoffing them all too!) healthy snacks are good but offering protein at breakfast is a good option rather than Nutella and stick to whole grains wherever possible eg porridge with fresh fruit rather than shredded.

It probably is a phase so monitor and seek advice if still an issue in the new year.

TotHappy · 22/10/2018 17:18

It doesn't sound like a lot to me. People always said I eat like a horse but I've always been thin. Appetites are weird things I don't think you can judge hereby herself. But I can see why you're concerned about the type of snacks she's choosing.

alligatorsmile · 22/10/2018 17:19

Oh and congratulations OP on having more self control around food than a little girl.

ittakes2 · 22/10/2018 17:21

She needs more protein - especially at breakfast. Oats would be good too. Worth mentioning -do her stools always float? Another reason for hunger is a damaged small intestine due to celiac disease or a parasite infection.

adaline · 22/10/2018 17:22

Well I'd be locking the kitchen if I couldn't trust my 9yo child not to take food without permission.

She's a child, she doesn't get to raid the cupboards and just make herself meals without asking!

MondayImInLove · 22/10/2018 17:24

you don't sound as if you like her 🙄 really?

If a child/teen is not gaining weight, I mean is keeping the same figure whilst growing then I would say it is fine, some need more food than adults. However, you are saying that she is getting bigger, in this case I would limit the junk food in the house and have plenty of healthy/light but filling options. Homemade fruity water, natural rice cakes, this kind of things.

Iliveinazoo · 22/10/2018 17:25

Adaline YOU may say that, but there are plenty of people who would say you'd cause food issues by locking food away.

Plus even if you restrict food at home, then there's every time you visit anyone.

ElectricMonkey · 22/10/2018 17:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverLining10 · 22/10/2018 17:26

Obviously shes so badly because the food is available. Dont keep that much junk food in the house.

Thisreallyisafarce · 22/10/2018 17:27

You really need to check your language. "Munching on..." "Raiding..." "TWO..." If she is hungry, find ways to fill her up. Eggs or porridge for breakfast, not sugar (Shreddies are full of it and Nutella obviously is). Next to the wraps, carrot sticks, maybe some nuts, a banana, so she doesn't feel hungry after her wraps.

Etc.

And stop judging her.

abacucat · 22/10/2018 17:30

I don't feel full up unless I ma over eating. My mum said I used to cry as a kid and say I was starving when I had eaten lots. I have just had to learn to put up with being hungry.
But no advice for you sadly.

adaline · 22/10/2018 17:32

But I don't understand allowing a child to just help themselves to whatever they want?

There's no way I'd have had the guts to sneak food out of cupboards at 9yo. My dad would have gone ape at me - not because I was hungry and wanted chocolate, but because I hadn't had the basic respect to ask first.

There's also the issue of keeping junk in the house - as in, if you think Nutella on toast is such a poor choice, why buy it in the first place?

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