...to not know how to respond to this message...

[WigglyBraddins]

...from a "gentleman" with whom I had a recent liaison?

"Urgh, this is horrible for me, and for you, and it could well sour things and I would hate myself if it did. But, I have to be honest. I said you were not my normal type, physically, and that is very true. I am really attracted to slim women, I can't help it and have tried before, with it not getting very far. I completely accept that circumstances and free time dictate how we are able to shape ourselves. I understand if you are hurt by this, and trust me I hate it having to be a thing. I hate the idea of men dictating to a woman what they should look like, and I am not telling you to do anything. I am just saying, in the past at least, this issue has got in the way. If you did feel like meeting me in the middle on this then I am realistic and not as demanding as you might initially think. As I say I totally understand that your circumstances and how they are not exactly kind in this respect. There are literally zero other red flags, especially none outside of your control, maybe. Urgh, I am so sorry, I know how this issue can really fuck women up but as I say I can't help what I like, but I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Urgh urgh."

Suggestions for an appropriate response would be very much appreciated.

I know I shouldn't be, but I'm just so shocked that somebody would think this is an acceptable message to send a person! From the way he's written it, it's as if he actually believes he'll get a response other than fuck off. WTF is wrong with some people?

But please, for the love of all that's entertaining on Mumsnet pretend you're playing along.

Omg I’m so so glad you bought this up it’s so hard when you have a connection with someone but they just fail to hit the standards of attractiveness you need. I didn’t know how to say this but as you have made it clear that size matters how would you feel about penis enlargement surgery. I mean I can’t be waiting until you’ve fallen asleep to finish myself off everytime can I? Im prepared to meet you in the middle and go for a girth englargement (maybe then can just pop some of my non existent fat in there) rather than length and girth. Ugh it’s awkward isn’t it? Let me know what you think hun?

I'd suggest going with the suggestion that @MaiaRindell posted or what @gamerchick suggested. Don't rise to the bait and send him a fuck off text. Keep it civilised. Then block his number!

oh..and follow it up with a sms(online) from local "gum"clinic in two weeks telling him "I appreciate this is awkward,however one of your recent partners has gave us your contact details and its suggested you have a complete check up as soon as possible-call the following number to arrange;supply no. total wahnger.x

He’s a twat but I think you need a witty response as some other PPs have suggested

He’s negging you. You are a size 12, clearly not overweight. It’s a psychological tactic. This isn’t just some bumbling bloke making a faux pas - it’s a deliberate attempt to control you and set the tone. Do not respond.

Yes he's trying to control her. Which is why she needs to troll him pretending she's being controlled and watch his sad little world come crashing down when he finds out he's the laughing stock of the web.

What a twat.

I would reply:

"Lol, well I prefer big penises, so probably best if we part ways! Have a nice life".

Then block.

Send a crying with laughter emoji and "oh dear, lol" then block. What an absolute tool, he deserves a slap

I would reply:
I'm so pleased we're on the same page regards size, I didn't want to broach it during our liaison but I prefer my men bigger.
Let's not say anymore about it!

That should do the trick

My bestie is 59 and a 12 so I know it's even slimmer than it sounds though that isn't the point.

How very rude and creepy. I can't better the suggestions in here but bullet dodged!

Just ignore him, and block him f you can. He’s keeping his options open. That makes you second best. That’s not good enough, block him, move on.

“It seems your giving me an ultimatum between being a healthy, cake eating woman or a miserable lettuce eating rabbit and even worse I’d be with you! So I chose my healthy happy body thanks!

Is this cut and pasted from the internet as it goes round and round and round ....

I would point out that controlling behaviour is a red flag for you and that he is displaying it in spades. Suggest he gets some counselling before entering into another relationship.

Tell him you can loose xxlbs (his rough weight) in 2 minutes then tell him to do one, then see told you I could.

Ignore - have nothing more to do with him. Go get a real man who is happy to share a bit of flesh!

"Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. As an extra terrestrial you might want to learn how to talk to us humans in a decent respectful way".

@Dragongirl10 I love your response!

I've seen this before too...

'Awww bless'

I like this, no swearing, no descending to his level, and as it gives the hint of a smile/head tilt, totally messing up his negging.

• Urgh, this is horrible for me too. This could also sour things but I won't hate myself for saying. I have to be honest. You are not my normal type either, mentally. I am really attracted no non-shallow people. I can't help it but I like people who look beneath the surface. I have tried to be with judgemental, narcissistic misogynists before, and not got very far. I completely accept this is a circumstance beyond your control. Sadly, meeting in the middle would still make you a twat. Ugh ugh. I hate men who try to dictate how women will look. This has been a major red flag. I am super realistic about what is possible and what is not. Remaining in contact with you is not. Urgh urgh."*

^This

If lots have seen it before it might be a cuntish copy and paste dump text... they expect you to be mad and decide they're jerks

I'd still fuck that up for him by playing along