To not trust her

[Cuppatea10]

This might sound a bit petty but because of my past experiences with friends stabbing me in the back i see a red flag waving in my face.
So this is a new friend I've made through my new hobby, it's a team sport so no competitiveness in the hobby. I arranged to have lunch with her as we work near by and it was good. So asked me if I was speaking to any new guys and I mentioned about speaking to a guy on social media that I had added and struck up a conversation with. I asked her too and she said she wasn't speaking to no guys.
Anyway I've just gone on this guys profile this morning and it comes up that she is now following him. It could be a coincidence but I don't know, seems unlikely she would randomly follow the guy ive started talking to unless she's gone onto my profile and seen who this guy is. Something is telling me not to trust this girl. Am I over thinking or should I be cautious of her?

Yep I've had alot if girls stab me in the back, almost always involves guys. I just don't get it as I would never dream of doing that. I have more respect for myself and other people.

I just don't get it as I would never dream of doing that. I have more respect for myself and other people

I think cos you’re a nice person you assume others are nice too: it’d be great if the world worked that way, but it doesn’t. Time to toughen up a bit and keep your cards a bit closer to your chest. Don’t go blabbing about very new romantic interests to people you haven’t been close for long enough with to know you can trust.

She doesn’t care about you. She doesn’t respect you, as a friend or a person. She clearly has all the power and knows it, I’d disengage with her completely. The pretending not to know what she meant when she approached you after class was cringeworthy, given that you’d already messaged her about it and vaguebooked at her, but it’s done now 🤦🏻‍♀️

I think this guy is no great loss either, he obviously wasn’t that into you if he jumped straight to seeing this woman, so don’t worry about him. To be honest, anyone in the ‘talking’ stage who isn’t exclusive or together can see or date whoever they like so I don’t think he’s done anything wrong, you’ll know when you meet someone who is really taken with you as he’ll be trying to meet up with you ASAP and won’t have his head turned so quickly by someone new appearing on the scene.

How do you know that it wasn’t him who has checked out your friends list and found her? She may have asked you questions because she was suspicious about this guy who had just friended her........

How do you know that it wasn’t him who has checked out your friends list and found her? She may have asked you questions because she was suspicious about this guy who had just friended her........

highly unlikely...

He didn't follow her first. You can see notifications on Instagram of who's liked who's pics and who followed who and when. I checked back and she followed him first.

You can see notifications on Instagram of who's liked who's pics and who followed who and when. I checked back and she followed him first

As an aside, can you explain to me HOW I can see on my own insta if I followed someone before my sister did? We have a running joke but neither of us can find definitive proof of this and didn't think it was possible to see.

If you click the heart at the bottom and then slide to the left so at the top it says following that's where all the notifications are. How long ago was it? There is no way to filter so you just have to scroll down

Update from yesterday's training at our hobby. I haven't spoke to her since Tuesday. I said a polite hi yesterday and she just seemed so happy to tell me she went on this date on Friday then she pulled a face as if to say he weren't the best date. Either that or he was great but sure she meant bad. Then she said she would have to tell me all about it and then walked off to go through something with part of the team. I didn't even ask about it or didn't want to know about it. Felt like she was trying to rub it in my face

She definitely was. If she tries to start telling you it was a crap date I’d be tempted to say something like ‘yeah he came across pretty dull online, glad I dodged the bullet. Shame for you though!’

Urrgh she is vile! Do not tell her a one iota more of what’s going on in your life. She is one of those who has to feel that they have got one over on other women. Horrible.

Yes im 100% keeping all personal info to myself now. I'm was really upset to begin with but now I'm really glad this happened as I've found out really early on what this girl is like and what she's capable of. I can imagine she could be even more spiteful that this

Saw the crazy girl today at our hobby. She came over and slotted herself inbetween me and the girls I was speaking to and cut the conversation up to tell me about the date she had last week with the guy.
She told me that they kissed in his car but then she said he pretty much tried to "rape" (her words) her and grabbed her belt and tried to put his hands down her trousers. She said she told him no and she don't know why he got that impression. I said ah ok blocked him then, she said no I wanted to see if he would message me but he hasn't
She might be telling the truth but dunno if she's lying so I won't go near him because if that happened why wouldnt you block him and wait for a message?? All very strange

You know what, I actually wonder if they even met!
She seems to live in some fantasy world. Or she is lying about what happen to see your reaction. In any way, I would just pity her, like someone above mention, say "Yeah I got bad vibes from him, shame you had to experience this" and move on. And if she ever brings guys again, just change the topic.
It's really uncomfortable to have such an emotional vampire around, especially if you enjoy the hobby and don't want to give up on the activity. I know people like that who actually live on drama like this, whether it's 'stealing' guys, or making up some other stories to be in the centre of attention.

Have you watched the film single white female? Time to watch it now.

Leave the hobby.
Things will escalate.
When she inserted herself between you and the girls you were talking to why didn’t you say “erm give me a minute pls.”
Why did you let her take over your conversation?

maccy no I haven't what's it about?
Yea she then went to ask if I was talking to that guy I said I was talking to (I weren't, just seeing if she would follow him too on social media) I just told her no I was talking to other people now. She said ah like me then I get bored too easily

m.imdb.com/title/tt0105414/

Similar scenario in certain ways to the sociopathic girl at your hobby.

7yo well everyone went quiet and stopped talking and listened to what she was saying. She just went into it really quick!

maccy errr that's creepy! I doubt she's trying to keep me to herself though! More like trying to keep him away!
Although on another not I did once have my best friend at school start dressing like me. And I mean exactly the same! Clearly I attract these type of people

Damn, you really need some boundaries and to assert yourself around this woman! did you really stand there and tolerate someone walking up and wedging themselves into your conversation while you just stood there and allowed it? I think she thinks she’s found a soft target for her (probably made up) stories and is getting a kick from how she treats you.

I’d either start sticking up for yourself or leave the hobby tbh as it’ll just get worse.