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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not trust her

119 replies

Cuppatea10 · 22/10/2018 07:06

This might sound a bit petty but because of my past experiences with friends stabbing me in the back i see a red flag waving in my face.
So this is a new friend I've made through my new hobby, it's a team sport so no competitiveness in the hobby. I arranged to have lunch with her as we work near by and it was good. So asked me if I was speaking to any new guys and I mentioned about speaking to a guy on social media that I had added and struck up a conversation with. I asked her too and she said she wasn't speaking to no guys.
Anyway I've just gone on this guys profile this morning and it comes up that she is now following him. It could be a coincidence but I don't know, seems unlikely she would randomly follow the guy ive started talking to unless she's gone onto my profile and seen who this guy is. Something is telling me not to trust this girl. Am I over thinking or should I be cautious of her?

OP posts:
SalemBlackCat4 · 23/10/2018 15:28

If you're late 20s and she is early 20s, then that is hardly a lot older than her. I thought you meant like, she was early 20s and he was in his 40s or 50s. But, yeah, she clearly is one of those women to avoid.

IAmGrootGrootGroot · 23/10/2018 16:03

@Gizzygizmo are you sure she's telling the truth?

LollyPopsApple · 23/10/2018 16:58

She messaged me as I put something up about trusting people and she said hope you're ok. Thought it was odd and thought are you messaging me out of guilt. Anyway I replied saying I'm fine and said btw didnt realise you knew the guy I was messaging such a small world. No reply as of yet.

Oh man, please don’t do these ridiculously childish vaguebook statuses that are embarrassingly transparent in a place where she can see them 😂 given the sort of person she seems to be (I think she enjoys ‘stealing’ him from you, not that he could be stolen if he didn’t want to see her), you’ll have just shown her how upset and intimidated you are and I reckon that’ll puff her ego right up and give her a lot of pleasure, she knows she’s got to you and she has the power.

I did want to put do you want his address and number too? 😂
I'm just playing along but from now on I'll keep her at arms length

No you didn’t. You’ve simultaneously shown her how much it has upset you with the not so vague Facebook post, while also being too chicken to actually say anything to her directly when the opportunity arose.

What do you mean playing along? Either cut contact from her, she’s no friend to you, or find your assertiveness and actually tell her what she did was shit. I think you think you’re playing along but really you sound too intimidated by her to dare say anything.

Original poster
Cuppatea10 · 23/10/2018 17:15

I'm not intimidated but id rather not turn up to my group hobby that I've paid alot of money towards and feel awkward. She is also my dance teacher which I do each the class. So id be causing more grief. I'm laughing at her now I think it's funny what she's doing and so does the people around me that ive told. From now on I'll be polite at my class and the hobby but won't be telling her anything or going for dinner etc.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 23/10/2018 18:19

Doesn't say much for Him either tbh OP.... he is a player Flowers

crispysausagerolls · 23/10/2018 18:38

If you mean what you say in your last post then why are you playing silly bugger games and dragging a friend of yours into it? It’s so so immature, as was positing something on fb about trust. Agree with a PP you are feeding whatever is driving her.

cheesefield · 23/10/2018 18:51

I'd set up a fake FB, with a profile photo of a hot man, get all my friends to friend the profile, then catfish her.

Cheeky cow.

WonderTweek · 23/10/2018 18:52

Sounds like you dodged a bullet there on both of them OP. Now ignore both and move on. It’s a shame you have to see her because of your hobby but maybe you can just be polite but distant.

Rebecca36 · 23/10/2018 18:59

I agree with you SIlverySurfer. In my book you have to meet people to start a friendship.

However, back to the op, it does seem odd but is probably quite harmless especially as neither of you really know this guy. You may have piqued her interest by what you said and some people really like chatting away to strangers on the internet so don't read too much into it.

Original poster
Cuppatea10 · 23/10/2018 22:15

She approached me after class tonight. Said how funny is it what happened I just said don't know what your on about and she was like oh you know that guy you were speaking to. I didn't see a pic so didn't know it was him. So I replied and said ah don't worry he was boring anyway and I've moved on. She then asked for a pic of the new guy :/ I'm going to have to drop that new guy thing and just not say anything else about it.

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 23/10/2018 22:24

She trying to make herself and her ccuntish behaviour feel better by generously expressing joy that you've already moved on and she can keep the guy you were talking too free and easy... that's what she's doing OP..... Hmm

she's fooling nobody.. she's vile

Miyajima98 · 23/10/2018 22:25

You need to develop some awareness OP. You are playing games and behaving immaturely, posting the thing about trust on fb etc. If you operate on this level it is no wonder you will attract others that do so also.

Please develop some awareness and mindfulness and be your higher self.

Gemini69 · 23/10/2018 22:28

I'd also block her from all your social media... all of it.. there is no reason to have her on there.. she's not a friend regardless of your hobby

1CantPickAName · 23/10/2018 22:39

She sounds unhinged

Tistheseason17 · 23/10/2018 22:45

Block, block, block!

RavenLG · 23/10/2018 22:59

I did tell her his name because we laughed about it and said it weren't a great name!
you know that guy you were speaking to. I didn't see a pic so didn't know it was him

Sorry, why exactly are you not calling her out on this? You've said you both joked about his name so I'm assuming it's an unusual name.

You both sound childish. Stop playing games with her and just move on.

IAmGrootGrootGroot · 23/10/2018 23:05

I wouldn't be able to hold my tongue with a bitch like that.

TheStopAndChat · 23/10/2018 23:09

She sounds unhinged

Yeah, I'm not sure it's the friend that sounds unhinged.

So you both just follow random guys? Which is perfectly fine btw. What's to say he didn't find her through your profile OP?

All sounds a little dramallama to me and I'd seriously question whether this is a pattern of your own creation if it seems to happen to you often.

Oh, and vaguebooking and then questioning someone who asks if you''re ok, which, lets face it, is WHY people vaguebook in the first place, is just ridiculous

IAmGrootGrootGroot · 23/10/2018 23:13

Why's everyone having a pop at the OP?
Have I missed something? I can't see what she's done wrong...

Apart from the cryptic Facebook post which is a bit cringe

Courtney555 · 23/10/2018 23:35

"I followed him, but then my mate followed him, and I DM'd first, but they're going out, so I'm putting stuff on Facebook, and omg she knows it's about her, and she's messaged me, so I'm telling her I'm messaging this other guy"

OP, you say you're in your late twenties. I'm inclined to agree with those that find this really childish.

Original poster
Cuppatea10 · 24/10/2018 07:35

I admit the vauge trust post was a bit cringe and I never ever normally post anything like that. But I did want to see if she would say anything and she did so my suspicions were confirmed. It only lasted 24 hours anyway and now it's gone.

I'm not continuing this other guy chat with her as yes it is a bit childish. Wanted to see if she would take the bait and how she would react. Ive got no time for her in my life, she is a class A cow who I clearly cannot trust.

OP posts:
LaGruffaloGrumble · 24/10/2018 07:36

She's a cow and you've dodged a bullet from the guy if he stopped talking to you the minute someone else came along.

You deserve better.

TeddybearBaby · 24/10/2018 07:52

I can’t believe you’ve had any negativity on here @Cuppatea10. I think you’ve done really well. You had a shock and responded quickly in that moment. Maybe you’ll handle situations differently because you’ve learnt from this but nothing you’ve done is awful.

I’m mid 30’s and I still act childishly sometimes - probably because some feelings will take you back to a certain time. Maybe there were bitchy girls at your school and this girl triggered something from that time 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Anyway I think you’ve done really well and I really hope this doesn’t damage your self esteem.

People who keep talking about Facebook 🙄. For the love of god it was instagram 😉😘

b4dmum · 24/10/2018 07:58

What a weirdo. She sounds about 15.

MsJolly · 24/10/2018 07:59
Flowers
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