To not trust her

[Cuppatea10]

This might sound a bit petty but because of my past experiences with friends stabbing me in the back i see a red flag waving in my face.
So this is a new friend I've made through my new hobby, it's a team sport so no competitiveness in the hobby. I arranged to have lunch with her as we work near by and it was good. So asked me if I was speaking to any new guys and I mentioned about speaking to a guy on social media that I had added and struck up a conversation with. I asked her too and she said she wasn't speaking to no guys.
Anyway I've just gone on this guys profile this morning and it comes up that she is now following him. It could be a coincidence but I don't know, seems unlikely she would randomly follow the guy ive started talking to unless she's gone onto my profile and seen who this guy is. Something is telling me not to trust this girl. Am I over thinking or should I be cautious of her?

i thought young people werent big facebook users any more?

"Maybe I'm too trusting and nice!"

I think that you counted her as a Friend too quickly.

LittleBookofCalm only on MN. But the OP could be talking about Instagram.

she asked you about any nice guy's you showed her him, he was fair game in her eyes? He is not your property

littlebook she's asked if she was 'talking to' any nice guys. Talking to, in my experience, generally means there's some romantic intentions and you are getting to know each other.

it could be a coincidence he hasnt replied to you op.
or perhaps your friend put her foot in it?

This all sounds really childish

It looks like she's had a spy on his FB, liked the look of him and started to follow him.

Sorry but what does ‘talking’ mean exactly? You’re not dating, fucking or anything serious (yet). So she isn’t ‘stealing your man’ as you’re insinuating.

It is odd that she added him, but in the same breath he accepted her? Why aren’t you seeing ‘red flags’ when the guy that you’re ‘talking to’ is happily accepting requests from your mates?

All seems very childish - and I’m only 22 lol

Agree, He accepted her, it does take two.

She's NO friend... stop meeting with her...

It's unfair to call this childish. If you have been getting to know someone and there are romantic intentions, then whether or not you are "fucking" them (as you do eloquently put it hannnnn ) you are emotionally invested so are bound to be hurt if a person you consider a friend inserts herself into the situation. No, you don't have a claim, but it still is hurtful.

OP, I suggest you find a new friend. It's hardly a good start to a friendship

I'd chalk it up to experience. Be more cautious in future. Treat the 'hobby colleague' with restrained politeness. Wouldn't at this early stage give her any response. Block her on your social media. Leave whatever is going on to the wider universe. Hoick up your big pants and 'onwards Macduff '.

I wouldn't say childish and this is on Instagram so he doesn't have to accept her follow as the profile is open. Yea we might not be sleeping with each other but getting to know each other. I just find it weird how we spoke about it and then she was like ah what's his name. Weren't really relevant and I stupidly told her thinking nothing of it. She might not have messaged him but still strange to do what she's done.
I know this might seem like a small thing but girls I've classed really close in the past have done some really hurtful things to me and I don't want that to happen again.

instagram, its just pictures isnt it, surely you can happily follow anyone?

You can follow anyone like you can add anyone on fb. His profile is public so if she wanted to be nosy she could but she chose to follow the guy too. It would come up that I follow him when she clicked on his profile so there would be no mistake that this is the guy I was talking about to her.

She could just be nosy

You could always set up a little test. Rope a mate in and follow him and then excitedly tell her about this new guy. Then when/if she follows him that same hour, you will know that she is a wrong’ un. I had a ‘friend’ like this - as soon as I mentioned someone I liked, she would go all out to try and hook up with him before me. I started to tell her that I liked guy A so that she careered off in that direction when actually I liked guy B so whilst she was flirting up a storm I could quietly go about my business!! I ditched her as a friend after a while as I think that is not how you treat people.

instagram, its just pictures isnt it, surely you can happily follow anyone?

it is yes.. but out of all the millions of random users... OP's 'friend' chooses to follow this one not so random account

I call it bullshit OP...

Yea I may do that Cora.
I'm just upset I find it hard enough being a single parent to find a guy and then don't need someone who I thought was a friend trying to butt in. Like someone said I'm prob a bit open too soon even though I didn't think telling her this guys name was a big deal.

to be honest OP.. I would block both of them... leave them to it

Well he hasn't spoke to me since yesterday so given up on that one now. Least i know now what she's like rather than really trusting her

Yes because she's likely messages him immediately and started full of texting him... cut your losses and tell her to GTF

Was going to say what Cora said. Mention some other guy to her next time and watch for her to follow him. This has the added benefit of retrieving some dignity for you as it presents it as you having gone off the first guy rather than her having nabbed him instead. Then drop her like a stone.

How often is your hobby / when will you see her? What’s your plan, are you going to mention it?

I have to disagree a bit about you taking on any responsibility. You should be able to say what you said without the other person sneaking off and doing what they did, it’s very odd!!

Don’t lose heart, I know you haven’t had much luck so far but there are nice, genuine people out there who do want to be good friends 💐

She may have messaged him gemini but I've got no way of knowing.

She's actually my class teacher too at the same place we do our team hobby. I have to see her Tuesday night's and Sundays. So bit hard to get away from her.
She messaged me as I put something up about trusting people and she said hope you're ok. Thought it was odd and thought are you messaging me out of guilt. Anyway I replied saying I'm fine and said btw didnt realise you knew the guy I was messaging such a small world. No reply as of yet.