Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little annoyed with my friends?

91 replies

NightOwl10 · 21/10/2018 20:48

I'd arranged to go out with my friends a couple of days ago for my birthday. It was a pretty low key thing, I've just gotten over a bad cold so we were just going to do the Halloween escape room, and I was really excited because I had to move up to Scotland to be closer to DPs family instead of in London where my whole life used to be so I this would be the first time I've seen them or been back to London in almost 6 months.

Anyway, the two friends I was going out with turned up to the escape room drunk even though I'd begged them not to drink since we wouldn't be allowed it. And of course, we weren't allowed in. So they said since they'd been pre-drinking already they wanted to do a bar crawl and then go to a night club. I agreed to it and I tried to be optimistic, but we'd spoken about not having a drinking night out and they'd all said they felt too old for that now anyway.
So, at the bar, every drink I bought for myself they took away and drank for themselves because they said I was a lightweight at uni and they didn't want to have to look after me, even though 1) that was 2 years ago now and 2) I was always the one looking after them. I told them I really didn't want a drinking night out still but i'd also come all that way (10hr drive) and I wanted to catch up with my friends. They kept saying I was boring and that they wanted a night out so they were having one, but they kept taking my drinks so I remained sober the entire night. One of them tried to buy MD so I told them no, it's not safe, not legal and since they insisted and it was 3am at that point and I had to drive to the other side of london to see my parents later that day I decided to go back to the hotel alone. I know it's immature of me to be upset they didn't even acknowledge my birthday, but I just feel like it's been months and I arranged to drive all the way down, left dd in Edinburgh, and I was so excited to do a fun activity and we could have gone out for a little bit after, but we didn't even get to do the escape room because they turned up in an absolute state.

OP posts:
mcmooberry · 21/10/2018 20:51

You would NBU to be VERY annoyed with them, what a disappointing night out for you and what appalling behaviour from them. Hope you can meet some better friends in Edinburgh!!

SerenDippitty · 21/10/2018 20:52

YANBU at all. Presumably they agreed beforehand what format your birthday night out would take and they ruined it for you.

SnuggyBuggy · 21/10/2018 20:52

YANBU, they sound like crap friends and possibly alcoholics

QueenOfMyWorld · 21/10/2018 20:53

They are immature idiots,don't waste anymore time thinking about them.They knew the type of night you'd arranged and they ignored you,as for taking your drinks away Wtf

SpottingTheZebras · 21/10/2018 20:54

Happy birthday, OP.

I think that you’ve drifted from these friends now and it’s probably time to leave things. I hope you make some new and much better friends near your new home.

sonandhelpneeded · 21/10/2018 20:54

They are not friends, but happy birthday @NightOwl10

MrsTommyBanks · 21/10/2018 20:54

They sound like shit friends. I'm sorry your birthday was so disappointing.
Could you do something fun with your partner when you get home to make up for it?

Original poster
NightOwl10 · 21/10/2018 20:55

It's been a couple of days so I shouldn't be feeling upset still, but I couldn't even hold myself together enough not to cry a little bit on the tube back to my hotel and since then in the group chat all they can talk about is what a "sick" night out it was and how boring I was to miss it.

OP posts:
redexpat · 21/10/2018 20:56

You can be more than a little annoyed. Who the fuck do they think they are taking away your drink?! And so selfish - you get to decide on your birthday. My blood is boiling just reading it. Im sure there are nice people in Scotland. Go find them!

redexpat · 21/10/2018 20:57

Leave the group chat. I know its scary, but honestly your lives have moved in different directions. Friendships are for a reason, season or lifetime. Their season (uni) has finished.

AliceRR · 21/10/2018 20:58

They sound like idiots and not very good friends. YANBU

Corcra · 21/10/2018 21:01

Oh horrible for you. They are not friends. Clearly they are immature and selfish and the rest. Time to leave them behind.
I hope you can celebrate your birthday, happy birthday and definitely go find new friends you deserve.

MartyMcFly1984 · 21/10/2018 21:04

You stayed out until 3am and yet still “missed” it?! Wow I feel so old right now.
Happy birthday op.
As someone who moved away from home I can confirm it does sort out the real friends from the shit. Yours are shit. I’m sorry they spoiled your celebrations. Time to find some replacements

melisma · 21/10/2018 21:06

Oh OP I feel for you. Happy birthday to you. Time to find your anger towards these "friends" and find your people in your new home. Much better friends are out there!

Original poster
NightOwl10 · 21/10/2018 21:08

Do you think I've left it too long to bring it up with them and let them know that they hurt my feelings? Or should I just quietly slip away? Other than DPs friends, they're kind of the only properly close ones I've got.

OP posts:
YouTheCat · 21/10/2018 21:12

I wouldn't call them friends. Concentrate on making some new ones where you live now.

MrsTommyBanks · 21/10/2018 21:14

Yes Happy Birthday Flowers and Wine to make up for the stolen drinks!

AliceRR · 21/10/2018 21:14

If you want to be friends with them and if they are real friends then they will take on board your feelings if you tell them now how you feel but be prepared for it to not have the effect you want

Branleuse · 21/10/2018 21:18

In the group chat id tell them that you drove ten hours to see them, they got you kicked out of the activity you booked, changed yoir plans, drank all your booze and then mocked you. Fuck friends like that.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig · 21/10/2018 21:20

Were they as selfish and horrible as that at uni? Taking your drinks? What are you, a child? They’d have been told to get to fuck and I’d have gone home. What a pair of shits. You can do a lot better. You do outgrow people you know.

DBN1 · 21/10/2018 21:20

Ditch them and concentrate on making new friends. They are not worth it. I feel so sorry for you OP, you put yourself out to travel all that way, leaving your child, and they wouldn't even celebrate your birthday in the manner that you chose. Cunts! You're better off without Flowers

Kittykat93 · 21/10/2018 21:21

They aren't friends. Would I fuck let someone take a drink off me!!! They treated you like utter shit op and yes of course you have a right to say something to them.

I know it's difficult when you don't have many friends, but honestly I'd rather have none at all than friends like that.

Happy birthday Thanks

skyesayshi · 21/10/2018 21:22

It does sound like you have outgrown them. I would just leave the group chat and cut them off. Your lives have gone in different directions.

melisma · 21/10/2018 21:24

In answer to your question-no, I don't think it is too late for you to bring up with them how you are feeling. I think you've been incredibly restrained! But as a wise PP said upthread, be prepared that as they are self centred knobheads they might not be able to hear it. Definitely time to ditch them one way or another though.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 21/10/2018 21:27

What unbelievably shitty friends. I’d just drop them like a stone and never look back.