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AIBU?

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Original poster

to suddenly be scared to give birth now my contractions have started?

324 replies

ActiveBlend · 21/10/2018 20:08

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and have recently started having what I think are pre-labour contractions. They're a lot more painful than I thought they would be and I'm now dreading active labour. I've always weirdly looked forward to childbirth but now I'm starting to experience it, I feel a bit freaked.

Sorry for posting in AIBU. I know I'm not BU, but was wondering if anyone else experienced the same? A pre-labour freakout?

All of a sudden very scared about the pain and how I'll get through it...

OP posts:
Reaa · 22/10/2018 09:19

Hope it's not too much longer for you

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 22/10/2018 09:25

Fully effaced.

Dilated zero.

I could cry.

OP posts:
LiquoricePickle · 22/10/2018 09:29

It's okay! You will meet baby soon. You can do it. I haven't read the full thread, but just remember that with or without pain relief, with or without an induction and with or without a section you will soon hold your baby. You've got this!

FoxFoxSierra · 22/10/2018 09:37

Don't lose heart, that can change so quickly! What is the plan now? Surely they are not sending you home?

OutPinked · 22/10/2018 09:39

I visualised each contraction as climbing a mountain with DC2&3. It helped me get through it. You reach the peak then start to decline and every time you contract, you’re closer to meeting the baby.

Good luck with it all, you will be fine Flowers.

Reaa · 22/10/2018 09:43

ActiveBlend can you try to sleep or are the pains still too quick?

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 22/10/2018 09:44

They're keeping me in. Can't believe how much pain I am in with no dilation. They've given me a pessary to hurry things along as I'm in so much pain. I don't know how much longer I can do this for.

OP posts:
WonderTweek · 22/10/2018 09:44

Don’t bet discouraged OP! It may well pick up soon. I laboured for 36 hours, went to hospital and they said I was 3cm dilated and sent me home! I did cry and I was so livid. I returned a couple of hours later and was up to 7cm which I was still miffed about, but after that it picked up a bit and the last 3cm went quite quickly. Hope you’re getting gas and air and even paracetamol can help. You can do it! 💪🏻

Original poster
ActiveBlend · 22/10/2018 09:45

@Reaa definitely can't sleep. Trying to rest in between though. They tried to do a sweep and it was agony. I just went all tense and it hurt so bad. Cried very quietly to myself. Feel like I'm having an out of body experience...

OP posts:
Hospitaldramafamily · 22/10/2018 09:52

@ActiveBlend you can do this! I had similar with sweep and lots of intense pains close together with no dilation. Keep moving- bounce on the ball and walk if you can xx

flowerpot1000000 · 22/10/2018 09:55

they may put you on a drip to hurry things along. Try and breathe through the pain...close your eyes and try and rest and breathe. We're all here for you

flowerpot1000000 · 22/10/2018 09:56

Walking is a great idea, the more mobile you are the better lying down flat wont shift anything really, we all know how you're feeling my lovely. It shouldnt be too long

Ennirem · 22/10/2018 09:57

ActiveBlend I really feel for you. My labour went on for ages and was agony. It's impossible to do in the grip of a contraction and with no knowing how long you'll be in this pain, but I promise this is just for a time, it will pass, you are where you need to be now and they will look after you.

Are you on labour war or just antenatal? Have they offered you G&A or anything else for your pain?

You will do it, one way or another that baby will be out of you soon, the pain will stop, and you'll be a mummy. There are no prizes for retaining your dignity or being stoic, so just forget everything else and focus on exactly what you need, every moment, in that moment, to get through it. The comfiest pose for me was on my knees leaning up against the bed head, if I put my head on my arms like that I could almost doze and when the contractions came it was... well agony but not as bad as if I was laying down. Might also help you dilate.

You will do it!

Sexnotgender · 22/10/2018 09:57

Oh I’m sorry OP.

Getting up about is definitely the way to go.

RedDrink · 22/10/2018 09:59

@ActiveBlend

Gas and Air SUCKS, get an epidural as Soon as they allow you to once labour starts.

It's bliss and I didn't feel drugged up, confused, or forget things about labour because of the epidural. Except when I was sleeping through my contractions obviously. Grin

You should be able to get codeine in the meantime. Good luck. Flowers

calpop · 22/10/2018 10:04

It sounds bonkers but try and relax as much as pissible. Shoulders down, unclench, let yourself go as loose as possible.

Lovethetimeyouhave · 22/10/2018 10:06

Gosh I'm so sorry you're experiencing the tough end of it. My Labour was pretty bad and I only have 1 Ds because of it. I feel for you right now, see if you can get more pain relief

Hospitaldramafamily · 22/10/2018 10:07

@Calpop yes! I wish I had known this! And kept moving. The pain just made me want to curl into a ball. One of the midwives knew some spinning babies technique which helped

Giantbabybump24 · 22/10/2018 10:08

Good luck OP! You’ll get to meet your little one. You must be exhausted but can you get on a pregnancy ball at all? Found it really helped in 2 of my labours. Had my most recent a few weeks ago and this thread has made me very emotional!

pastabest · 22/10/2018 10:10

I went from 3 to 10cm in less than 2 hours with DC1 and DC2

Midwives tried to send me home both times after the first examination but I lived an hour away and refused with DC1 because I knew I was in too much pain for it not to be the real deal and I knew from experience with DC2 that I laboured quickly.

I only had paracetamol and the gas and air for the actual crowning bit. It fucking hurts but on both occasions I found the stitching up afterwards more painful than the giving birth bit.

Good luck!

calpop · 22/10/2018 10:12

I know! I only managed the relaxing on baby 3 as the midwife was into yoga and did some visualisation and breathing techniques with me. It really does make and enormous difference OP. Still hurts, sure, still needed the gas and air, but better. The body's natural response when, let face it, under attack is to curl and tense up, but it makes the pain worse. Try and go as loose and floppy and flopped out as possible when the contractions are coming.

This also helps with establishing breast feeding, when the time comes! (and smear tests, and colonoscopys... )

pandarific · 22/10/2018 10:18

Oh I'm sorry no dilation yet - don't be discouraged though, it's perfectly possible to go from 0-10 in a couple of hours. You may have even been more open at home and closed up a bit on the drive, also totally possible.

Can you ask a midwife to check baby's position? It may be that they are in a funny one which is slowing things down. If they were, there are positions the midwife can show you to help turn baby and then things might go very quickly and you could have some nice pain relief and a sleep. Thanks

Have you a birth partner with you? Hope you're being cuddled, having a nice massage and given lots of love.

ShackUp · 22/10/2018 10:21

I went from 3 to 10cm in a matter of minutes both times. I was only pushing for 5 minutes with DS2.

Opheliasgoldenwine · 22/10/2018 10:26

Oh OP, how gutting that it's 0!! Really feel for you  have your waters gone?xx

Keel · 22/10/2018 10:30

Hope you have got some pain relief OP and things start progressing for you. Mindfulness might help as well. If you think if the pain of having a purpose it makes it easier to bear. Not be long before you're cuddling your newborn. Good luck and Flowers and Cake xxx

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