To think my friend is a high functioning alcoholic?

[toohottoohot]

My closest friend drink a bottle a wine a night, sometimes 2 bottles a night at the weekend. Works at senior level in a high pressured industry.

Has to be oncall couple times a month, where they can't drink and manages this ok. Doesn't get the shakes if they don't drink, nor do they drink during the day, just in the evening.

Are they a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I raise this with him?

I have a friend like this too. I tried to get her to do dry January with me, but she always has an excuse to drink (the cat is ill, husband is doing my head in at the moment, etc). Her family all plead with her to stop drinking, but the more they do, the more she drinks. Its like she wants to put two fingers up to them. She tells me her liver function tests always come back ok, so she's fine to carry on. I do wonder if that's a lie though. I don't think there is anything anyone can do for people like this... it has to come from inside themselves, that realisation that they don't have to do this.

Our friends are high functioning alcoholics,both work mon to Fri and share a bottle of vodka every night.They are v open about this and dont seem to think it's a problem .Of course upu are concerned but not sure what you can do really as it's not your business

Meh, I can drink 3 bottles of wine on a Friday. I don't make a habit of it anymore I can also drink a litre bottle of vodka in a night too.

@Eliza9917, you have drunk 40 units in one night?

OP, I would tell your friend to watch the Adrian Chiles programme on BBC iPlayer. It's called something like Drinkers Like Us.

My dad is an alcoholic. Now a dry drunk, (not drinking but still presenting same behaviour) because he suffered severe brain damage 2 years ago at the care come he'd lived at since his early 60's due to being incapable of looking after himself after a lifetime of being a functioning alcoholic.

It is only the person abusing alcohol who can decide to change, nobody can make them. The fact that the friend acknowledges an issue with their drinking & wants to alter the pattern is a good start. At least they're not in denial. I hope they can help themselves, but its very hard, even if they want to.

The point of drinkers like us is that drinking can be a problem without the drinker being an alcoholic. Something that’s been missed in this thread.

I think people minimise alcoholism by calling ever drinker an alcoholic. People seem to forget an alcoholic is someone ADDICTED to alcohol. Alcoholism has nothing to do with units and never has

I don't think he's an alcoholic from how you've described him, however he does have a drink problem that sounds like it's specifically stress related. Unless he finds another way to deal with the stress (or finds a new job) then it's unlikely to go away. Can you encourage him to exercise instead? Much less likely to fancy a drink if he's just finished exercising & it's also a great stress reliever.

I drank too much for several years to cope with stress. I did a dry month in 2015 and it's totally reset my relationship with alcohol. Now I might have one or two drinks some weeks, but most weeks none. About every 3 months or so I might have more at a social occasion but my lifestyle habits have completely changed. So it's do-able, just tricky to reset your balance.

i love how its just a sip and let him its fine iits only a bottle!

why is it ok to drink copious amounts just because its legal doesnt mean its good for if alcohol was invented today it would be banned

"Why do you care? I mean that genuinely. I know lots of heavy drinkers and lots of non drinkers. Unless they impact on my life, it’s really none of my business

Yes, why would someone care about a close friend and their wellbeing? confused"

Yes, odd question. I also had a friend at work who did this. I encouraged her to get help, but I don't know if I could have done more. She said the dr mentioned AA but didn't give any other help.

Two bottles of wine will not put him over the drink drive limit the next day as he will have a high tolerance to alcohol and his body will process it much better than somebody who doesn't drink that often

Tolerance to alcohol means that you have to drink more and more to feel the same effects. It doesn’t mean that your body processes alcohol faster. If anything, if you have liver damage you will process it slower.

www.drinkaware.co.uk/alcohol-facts/alcohol-and-the-law/can-i-drive-the-morning-after-drinking-alcohol/

Tolerance isn’t a good thing for your health and safety it’s a BAD thing.

Advice here about how to reset your tolerace

www.drinkaware.co.uk/advice/how-to-reduce-your-drinking/how-to-cut-down/how-to-take-a-break-and-reset-your-tolerance/

Thanks for all your comments, some helpful advice in there. He isn't overweight, is slim, but has a stressful job. Other ways to de-stress and unwind are what he needs. Think I will leave it until he raises it again with me, which he will as we're really close.

No this isn't a reverse as I have a glass of something once a week and can go for weeks without drinking...we're opposites in that respect. We have been out, spent evenings in, where I haven't drunk alcohol so he knows it's possible to not drink and still have a good time. I can most definitely take it or leave it!

I just think it's a shame that he's damaging his body like this. I want us to grow old and grey together, not for him to die early, and that's why I'm bothered cos we're friends and we like being together!

Lots of people can easily drink a bottle a night and be ok. Lots of people can’t

Long term, no one can be ok drinking at that level and the impact on other people, like family and friends is horrible.
The ignorance about alcohol is staggering.

My late DH, the world's worse diabetic, drank one and a half bottles of red wine an evening. He died aged 57 as a result of bladder cancer. He minimised his drinking too.

He may not be an alcoholic, but he definitely sounds like a dependent drinker. Sometimes it's just habit forming - how long has he been doing this for?
Pre DC I was very hard partying and used to have a similar amount each week (early twenties). Now I drink two nights a week only and wouldn't want to drink more than that, I had a bottle of low alcohol wine last night and feel ill today!
The tolerance is worrying and he definitely won't be OK to drive to work in the morning even if he doesn't have a hangover.
But he won't change unless HE wants to.

what a load of crap greggers-wont put him ver the limit to drive? of course it will dpesnt matte4 rif he doesnt feel drunk its the same limit in his blood

Ultimately there’s nothing you can do unless the person themselves wants to address it
I left someone who drank 4-5 cans of beer a day and more at the weekend
In the four years I knew him he didn’t have any alcohol free days
Yes high functioning alcoholic but eventually it will catch him up
And I couldn’t stand by and watch

I'm genuinely astonished that some on this thread do not consider someone who drinks a bottle of wine a night +2 bottles on weekends an alcoholic.

An alcoholic does not need to be spread eagled on the pavement with their head in a gutter covered in vomit and a half eaten kebab. In the main a lot of alcoholics are just like this man - 'functioning' but wholly dependent on alcohol ergo an alcoholic.

For the functioning ones - the wheels fall off sooner or later. That doesn't necessarily mean that they'll hit rock bottom and end up in a gutter but as PP have pointed out they lose relationships and friendships as the alcohol always comes first. The physical symptoms become horrific to deal with and bit by bit they fall apart.

Yep, he sounds like he has an issue. However if he can’t see it, I think you will struggle.

My ex drank a bottle of wine a night plus more at weekends. About 85 units a week, every week, year round. He insisted this was normal.
Then he had to have a routine op with a general anaesthetic. He was asked what he drank and said “the odd glass of wine - not much”

Trouble is there are different anaesthetics for people who drink too much and the doctors didn’t know. They had problems bringing him out of the anaesthetic afterwards. He needed 6 extra days in hospital. Our ds was very nearly left without a father.

So it does matter. But until something goes badly wrong, I suspect your friend will continue to kid himself.

@VladmirsPoutine an alcoholic is addicted. Regardless of what someone is drinking, none of us know whether he’s an alcoholic.

The most serious alcoholic I know drinks 2 cans cider a day. She’d die without them though.

If she's functioning well and is able to stop when she wants then leave her be.

Vladimir's poutine this person may not be an alcoholic. Alcoholism is basically problem drinking that has become severe. Some one who spends a lot of time thinking about drinking, or drinking, even though it causes them negative impacts in their life.

My friend as I said drinks more than this, but I'd be hard pressed to say what negative impacts it has, she has never had hangovers doesn't drink till late evening, and functioning is fine during the day. Is she addicted I genuinely don't know. But like the person in the op, we don't know if they are also addicted or not, or if it causing rhem negative impacts.

Righto - a bottle of wine every night of week plus two on the weekends does not an alcoholic make. Sure. I have a bridge for sale if anyone's interested

No, it doesn't make an alcoholic because alcoholism is not as simple as quantity or frequency. There are some good articles on line if you wish to learn more.

My own dad was a functioning alcoholic for years .. went to work etc.
Drank every evening
Denied there was a problem
He died on Friday aged 72 from
Alcohol