To think my friend is a high functioning alcoholic?

[toohottoohot]

My closest friend drink a bottle a wine a night, sometimes 2 bottles a night at the weekend. Works at senior level in a high pressured industry.

Has to be oncall couple times a month, where they can't drink and manages this ok. Doesn't get the shakes if they don't drink, nor do they drink during the day, just in the evening.

Are they a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I raise this with him?

[Wolfiefan]

Drinking an entire bottle of wine a night is binge drinking. It IS indicative of a serious drink problem. If your friend drinks more than that each night and can function they have a worrying tolerance for alcohol. Never having a hangover doesn’t mean they’re not an alcoholic.

[Caprisunorange]

Eh? Righto and sarcasm because you don’t know what alcoholism is?

[VladmirsPoutine]

Eh? Righto and sarcasm because you don’t know what alcoholism is?

I had no idea you knew all about my personal or professional background in order to have reached the conclusion that I don't know what alcoholism is. How refreshing, thanks.

[Caprisunorange]

Well no, you don’t know, because you think you can diagnose an addiction based on being told nothing but the amount a person drinks. That’s how I know

[TombIhadaGraveChange]

Do you know who his GP is? If so, could you ring them up and ask for a note to go on his file?

I did this with DP. He was on ADs, and drinking heavily. It was not a good combination. I rang our GP an hour before he had an appointment with her and told her. Obviously, she couldn’t confirm she was seeing him let alone anything else, but listened, and promised she wouldn’t say she’d spoken to me. When I spoke to him afterwards and asked how it had been he told me she’d asked how much he’d been drinking, and got the truth out of him. She was then able to help.

He still doesn't know I interrefered.

[Myrnafoy]

I agree with Greggers. He’s drinking to excess certainly and ultimately that will impact on his physical health but compared to the amounts consumed by many alcoholics it’s small fry. He may not be displaying physical signs of withdrawal but may be heading towards psychological addiction more than anything.

[Valasca]

I can drink a bottle of wine a night. I can - and have - also not drink for years.

It’s habit forming. It is. And I’m lucky that I can get out of the habit and not be addicted. But I’m not going to kid myself and say I don’t feel a “need” to have that first glass.

Same with coffee. Same with chocolate.

If you consume a regular and large quantity on a daily basis, it becomes addictive.

[Missingstreetlife]

Some people get addicted quicker than others but this is definately problem drinking
I had a friend who was always going to get help next week, eventually the landlady (flat downstairs) said why wait, do it today.
Went to drug and alcohol service next day, never looked back.
Priory run lots of rehab ifvyou have money

[todreamIdo]

So I'll probably face a tonne of judgement for this... but here it goes.

I drink far too much. If I want to I can go weeks without drinking a thing, and often have a 'dry month'.

But the truth is I get depressed, and when I do the first thing I go for is a bottle (or more) of wine. I'm not proud of it. But I do it.

I would love not to, but when I feel upset, depressed, sad etc, I feel like I have no other release. I know long-term it doesn't help, and I tend to feel depressed everyday but I don't really know what else to do.

[Fresta]

Nobody on this thread can say if he is alcoholic or not from the info in the OP.

I always thought an alcoholic was someone who was dependent on alcohol and had an addiction from which which they would suffer serious withdrawal affects if they went without it for any period of time.

Therefore, if he can go a whole weekend without alcohol when working on call then he probably isn't dependent. It's nevertheless not a healthy amount to be drinking.

[Oblomov18]

I am surprised at Angelil post:
That people who easily do dry January and sober October are still considered functioning alcoholics.
Guess that's me then. I can go weeks without drinking, then drink a bottle without even blinking.
I drink regularly, but normally do DJ & SO, but then just return to my normal drinking habits.

[OverTheHedgeSammy]

Whether he is 'addicted' or not, he abuses alcohol. He drinks to excess, unless he has a specific reason NOT to - ie being on call. He has an emotional dependency, even if it isn't a physical one yet. Eventually though the dependency WILL become physical. By then it will become a LOT harder to deal with.

[Caprisunorange]

“That people who easily do dry January and sober October are still considered functioning alcoholics.”

They’re not. Addicts might have dry periods but someone who stops drinking for simple reasons for a month twice a year isn’t an alcoholic

A problem drinker maybe

[Oblomov18]

Gottagetmoving:

Lots of people can easily drink a bottle a night and be ok. Lots of people can’t

Long term, no one can be ok drinking at that level and the impact on other people, like family and friends is horrible.
The ignorance about alcohol is staggering.

I don't understand. Lots of my friends don't drink at all. Some may have one glass at a party. Done drink, some more than others. I also know at least 20 people who can drink a bottle of wine.

And their behaviour has no effect on anyone else. They aren't hung over, or ratty with the children, or curt with their husbands/wife, or colleagues.

So what is this guaranteed impact?

[Wolfiefan]

Drinking a bottle of wine doesn’t make you an instant alcoholic.
Drinking that or more every single day suggests a dependency. This person claims they have to drink because of stress. That’s a very unhealthy relationship to alcohol.

[VladmirsPoutine]

This is what is wonderful about Mumsnet. People will go on and on about the specifics just to make a technical point ignoring the huge overarching issue. Of course I am not qualified to diagnose anyone with a medical condition on a parenting forum based on a few sporadic details from the OP but let's not let that get in the way of someone's clearly unhealthy way of living. It's very bemusing. Much like those threads in which a poster writes about her abusive husband or whomever and someone else describes him as a narcissist then we have 10+ pages of posters piling over each other to ask which medical school that poster went to in order to decry someone a narc. Truly could not make it up.

In any case. I am now well and truly convinced that someone with the capacity to drink 9 bottles of wine a week is absolutely fine. I wonder why the NHS don't start a campaign about it "You are not an alcoholic! It's only 9 bottles of wine!" I'm sure that will give much comfort to concerned friends and family of an individual heading toward alcoholism.

[LeftRightCentre]

Of course he's aware of how much he drinks. He doesn't need it bringing up. It's like bringing up weight to a fat person, they already know they're fat without their friends sending PA links to shows about fat people and how bad it is for you. Just be there for your friend.

[Caprisunorange]

It’s nothing to do with being fine. It’s just irritating to have drama queens self diagnosing serious illnesses they know nothing about.

Life isn’t a mumsnet thread. Sometimes the answer is: keep your bloody nose out.

[Bluntness100]

I think to be fair vlad, the overwhelming opinion isn't he is fine, although I get a couple think that, it's clearly unhealthy and problem drinking, possibly even dependent, but this doesn't actually mean he's an alcoholic.

[Missingstreetlife]

Lots of different patterns of alcoholism exist. There is lots of help for problem drinking, local authority will have drug and alcohol service, mostly for people at the heavy end, but will signpost to local helplines etc.
People don't usually want to start with aa but they offer a wonderful support network if you want to stop, people end up here when they can't cut down
I see no reason to tell a friend you are worried and point them to a source of help, but you can only lead the horse to water

[lolaflores]

The drinking is a symptom. His job sounds stressful perhaps a talk about stress maybe.more fruitful than alcoholism. That's a big word likely to simply shut down anything helpful

[Gottagetmoving]

I don't understand. Lots of my friends don't drink at all. Some may have one glass at a party. Done drink, some more than others. I also know at least 20 people who can drink a bottle of wine.And their behaviour has no effect on anyone else. They aren't hung over, or ratty with the children, or curt with their husbands/wife, or colleagues.So what is this guaranteed impact?

Oblomov18 I did say Long term?.... and referring to the level of consumption of OP's friend.
Anyone who thinks drinking that much will not eventually cause physical harm is pretty naive at best and stupid at worst.
Whether he's an alcoholic or not, I wouldn't know.

[VladmirsPoutine]

Caprisun Sometimes those 'drama queens' know an awful lot and sometimes the answer is to not keep your nose out but to dive in.

I see we disagree on this and you are entitled to your view. Good luck. I hope should you ever been in need of support your friends and those closest to you don't share your philosophy.

[Caprisunorange]

What a ridiculously pious self obsessed post vlad. I hope if your friends need help you recognise your limitations and sign post them to someone who knows about their situation

[Lellikelly26]

Lots of people defending drinking on here! Obviously they have the same problem and are in denial. Drinking that much is not good for your health (physical and emotional) and if something happens (eg loss of a job or someone close to them) it can go to full blown issue