To think my friend is a high functioning alcoholic?

[toohottoohot]

My closest friend drink a bottle a wine a night, sometimes 2 bottles a night at the weekend. Works at senior level in a high pressured industry.

Has to be oncall couple times a month, where they can't drink and manages this ok. Doesn't get the shakes if they don't drink, nor do they drink during the day, just in the evening.

Are they a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I raise this with him?

He is endangering his health with this level of drinking. Unless he asks you for your opinion or your help I would not be raising the subject with him.

You would not be suggesting that an overweight person loses weight and offering your handy tips, neither should you with your friend.

Why did so many assumed it's a "he"?

It is a problem. But it's really difficult to breach the subject. Have you checked out nay addiction support? They often have advice on how to talk with people you are concerned about

Ffs. While I typed this OP said. He. Sorry.

The Op said

“How do I raise this with him?

OP has described him as "he".

"Him" is in the last line of the OP

I would encourage him to see his gp. He has said he knows it's too much. As a friend you can be there for him but there is so much help he can access when he's ready. It may be a case of weaning himself off or whatever. If he can genuinely stay off of it when on call, then there is hope I guess.

Nothing much you can do. I have a friend who has been doing this for years. I worry, I'll be there for her if she needs me to be - but I cannot stop her drinking.

I'd be most concerned that if he drives, he is over the limit in the morning. I saw the documentary with Adrian Chiles, and he recognised a problem, and the OP seems a caring friend to have seen his closest friend has a problem.

How to raise the matter that is effective is the difficult bit.

Is this a misdirect and you’re talking about yourself?

Do you think it’s a problem? What effect is the alcohol having on his (your) daily life?

Oswald Spengler - you seem to be seriously in denial about this level of alcohol consumption.

Likes a sip
We all have our vices
Does it matter if he likes a drink
He’s handling his business
No ones going to live forever

I think that either you or someone close to you needs help for their own drinking.

I think all you can do is maybe express your concern for his health - not only from the alcohol but from the stress too. If he sits at home and drinks at night could he not replace that with an alternative activity/hobby that would destress him and get him away from the bottle! Exercise is always good but any other club/society (other than those which involve drinking) would provide the distraction he clearly needs to wind down from work.

I think he is alcohol dependent yes. I have a friend who drinks like this, more actually, at last a bottle and a half a night, way way more at weekends. The spouse is adamant there is no problem there. They could stop if they wish, simply they don't wish. Their parents were alcoholics.

It's not vodka on the cornflakes territory, they only drink in the evening, hold down a professional role, I'm not sure it's alcoholic to be honest, there is no hard boundaries to define as one, but I think like your friend they are alcohol dependent.

If I was keeping my shit together, which it sounds like he is, I would not appreciate the interference. However if I did decide I no longer wanted to drink to that extent, I would appreciate a supportive friend. OP, that’s all you can do. If he broaches the subject with you by all means say how you feel but I think if you bring it up yourself you run the risk of him becoming defensive and maybe not feeling that he can come to you in future.

It's alcohol use disorder, which covers the range from mild dependency to alcholism:

alcohol use disorder symptoms and causes

Alcohol is a toxin and regular consumption at that level will lead to long term damage to the liver, stomach and cardiovascular system. It's also a progressive condition so for most, it gets worse over time.

OP, I think your friend is a classic case and that you have real cause to be concerned.

Whether or not he's an alcoholic, he'll surely be doing his liver some serious damage with that kind of constant drinking.

You don't need to use the label "alcoholism" to have health concerns about that level of consumption.

None of us can say whether they’re an alcoholic. Being an alcoholic is about being alcohol addicted and only their GP can confirm that. There isn’t anything you can do OP

I think you are correct OP.
There are many people like this in today's society in the UK - my parents included. They will do things like your friend - like not drink on a night when they are on call - or do things like Sober for October - as a virtue-signalling 'proof' of "I'm not addicted, I can quit when I want". Sadly, such 'breaks' do nothing for their drinking habits the rest of the time.
I don't think there's much you can 'do' per se. It's a good thing that your friend may already be realising that their drinking levels are problematic. Without this realisation within themselves nothing will happen.
My sister is a doctor and has already tried to tell my parents (in the nicest possible way!) about the dangers of them drinking as much as they do, but they refuse to hear it. We just don't give alcohol as gifts and try to take ourselves off to bed early if staying at their house overnight so that we don't have to deal with the late evening fallout.

The reason I mention the UK specifically is because I have lived abroad for 10 years and whenever we return to visit the UK we really notice the difference in attitude. People 'on the continent' (for want of a better phrase) simply don't drink the way the Brits do. British drinking habits are NOT a good thing.

Well hes going to die sooner rather than later if he carries on like this. His liver will be really damaged now.
All you can do really is talk to him and say you are concerned and explain what help is available for him when hes ready to do something about it.I've know a few people like this and they have all been dead in their 50s.

If he's drinking to deal with stress (as you describe he isn't going to stop because he's always too stressed) maybe discuss other ways to relieve stress, if he's openly discussing it with other people as well as you maybe come up with ideas to help distract and relax in the evenings together well away from alcohol?

Oswaldspengler As someone who grew up around a lot of "functional" alcoholics & other addicts and got to see them crash out, yes it does matter. Just because someone can keep it together for a high profile job doesn't mean the repercussions of addiction are going to go away. If he's openly discussing that he "needs to do something about it", then we're beyond having a sip which I think is the most ridiculous phrase for drinking an entire bottle daily I've read.

I suppose you could help him to understand the problem and his addiction. There are online support groups and of course AA. Encourage him to engage with these groups even if he still drinks for a while.

It is beyond doubt that his physical health is suffering. Overt liver disease and associated cancers appear without warning and then it is usually too late. So even if he or you don't see damage it doesn't mean it isn't there. It won't get pick up in basic health checks, so don't rely on those for reassurance. In the meantime he will be building up risk of heart disease, diabetes and hypertension. At that level of consumption this is a certainty.

His mental health is already damaged because he is an addict. However he could well be masking depression or exasperating it. No drinker ever feels good about themselves.

His work and relationships will suffer. He will eventually take risks. He will be prioritising drinking above everything else. Its just a matter of time before he is outed. I expect most of his colleagues know.

You can spot a drinker a mile away. There are tired, moody, overweight (big belly and skinny legs) and have bad skin. They are always too keen to suggest a drink whatever the excuse and they knock them back.

He is wasting his life and it could so easily be better. He needs to stop drinking for ever. Moderation is not achievable.

Two bottles of wine will not put him over the drink drive limit the next day as he will have a high tolerance to alcohol and his body will process it much better than somebody who doesn't drink that often.
He isn't an alcoholic as he is not experiencing withdrawal and not score highly on the tests due to this. I even doubt dependency as he can go without.
What I do suspect is he's drinking to deal with stress issues if he has a demanding job and the level he's drinking will begin affecting his health. He needs to look at other ways to de stress and cut down.
1 bottle of wine is definitely not binge drinking.