To think my friend is a high functioning alcoholic?

[toohottoohot]

My closest friend drink a bottle a wine a night, sometimes 2 bottles a night at the weekend. Works at senior level in a high pressured industry.

Has to be oncall couple times a month, where they can't drink and manages this ok. Doesn't get the shakes if they don't drink, nor do they drink during the day, just in the evening.

Are they a high functioning alcoholic?

How do I raise this with him?

[Bluntness100]

Lots of people defending drinking on here! Obviously they have the same problem and are in denial

Passive aggressive much? 🤣

[SD1978]

Habitual drinker, yes. Alcoholic- can't asses. If he can't drink, he's happy not to (as far as you know) he has instances where he can't and is ok with this. Would be unfair to label as alcoholic with this i formation, but is drinking excessively potentially.

[Soontobe60]

I like a glass of wine every evening. I've started buying the lower alcohol sort, or dilute higher alcohol with soda so a bottle now lasts a week.

[VladmirsPoutine]

I don't think lots of people are drinking on here and thus have the same problem. It's not so much the drinking they're defending as much as it is the medical diagnosis. So the main thing isn't whether or not this man is drinking however much of whatever alcohol with whatever frequency - that's a red herring - the point is that none of us personally know him and none of us are medically qualified to call him an alcoholic. It's a semantics issue. So whether or not he is drinking a bottle of wine every evening or shooting toddlers and drowning puppies then downing a litre of pure vodka every evening is neither here nor there. The point is you can't diagnose someone online. If he were to die for example, he would still not be considered an alcoholic - because you are not a post mortem specialist. It would be a case of an unfortunate event. 'Alcoholic' is a protected term and should only be used by those with the correct qualifications. Anything else is just idle musing.

[Lellikelly26]

Not passive

[Bluntness100]

Vlad, agree, it's semantics and I'm not sure of the ops need to label him. And if this drinking isn't a problem for him it should not he a problem for her. He is simply a friend. If sh is concerned about his health then that's one discussion, but again no need to label him.

[stopfuckingshoutingatme]

OP people can change

I managed to go from daily drinking to a few times a week . Just bear in mind that he doesn’t have to go complete cold turkey

Maybe for some people that’s the only answer . But I managed to go from daily to weekends (and I don’t drink as much at weekends as I used to) .

He must feel shit . I also like the idea of non alcohol activities

[Greggers2017]

Yes tolerance does make a difference.
I have clients who can drink 3 or 4 pints and still blow under the drink drive limit.
If 3 people with different levels of tolerance all drank 2 pints I could guarantee they'd all blow different levels.

[Greggers2017]

@GabsAlot you would be very surprised. I have clients who drink 2 bottles of wine on an evening and blow 0 on the alcohol metre at 9am. I am not talking rubbish. I see it every single day. It's scary how much some people can drink and drink blow below the drink drive limit.
I had one client who had drunk 1 bottle of wine and was stopped by the police and blew under the drink drive limit. This made her change her ways as it was a massive wake up call.

[TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers]

Well, here's the thing. I would often have a glass, maybe two most (not every) night - max half a bottle of wine and somehow or other, I've managed to damage my liver. It was only picked up during a routine well-woman liver function check. So that's me, down to one glass a month or on a special occasion. Plainly I wasn't alcoholic because I didn't have any problems going from that level to zero for four months and now just one per weekend. But I'd say drinking at that level, your pal is going to have perhaps unseen liver issues. I saw one of these medical shows where they took a LFT machine out into the community and a really scary number of those tested had raised levels. Three people were referred to hospital due to the level they were recording. So yes, your pal might not be an alcoholic but they WILL have health issues.

[Missingstreetlife]

Not all alcoholics have withdrawals or cravings, but once they start they can't stop. It just means addiction, which involves the relationship with alcohol being more important, and lying to themselves and others, minimising the risk.

[Missingstreetlife]

Glad you are chatting sh.. it's not a protected term, lots of people self identify

[hendricksy]

I know loads of high functioning alcoholics .. it's their choice unless it's affecting his job then there isn't much you can do 🤷‍♀️

[StorminaBcup]

It's clear there is an issue, and your friend has said so themselves, but perhaps a less confrontational way of approaching it might be to talk about his stress and alternative ways to cope with it. As a pp mentioned upthread, excessive drinking is normalised in a lot of work cultures and it's not unusual for those kinds of people to turn it around and take up ultra-marathons for example. Sounds idealistic perhaps, you know your friend better than anyone here.

[StorminaBcup]

It's clear there is an issue, and your friend has said so themselves, but perhaps a less confrontational way of approaching it might be to talk about his stress and alternative ways to cope with it. As a pp mentioned upthread, excessive drinking is normalised in a lot of work cultures and it's not unusual for those kinds of people to turn it around and take up ultra-marathons for example. Sounds idealistic perhaps, you know your friend better than anyone here.

[Greggers2017]

@Missingstreetlife a full blown alcoholic will get withdrawal symptoms. They may just be tremors or shakes but They can be severe seizures that can even cause death. Which is why anybody alcohol dependent should not stop cold turkey and work at a safe drink down plan.
I very much doubt anybody alcohol dependent doesn't get cravings either. People who have been in recovery for numerous years still get them occasionally. It's all about distracting themselves from the craving

[Missingstreetlife]

Not true, some don't, not to say they won't kill themselves though.
I do know what I'm talking about

[Greggers2017]

@Missingstreetlife are we talking actual alcoholics here who score highly on audit scores or someone who drinks low levels but daily?

[hendricksy]

@Greggers2017
That isn't always true , my dad used to drink a bottle of whiskey a day and before he died he was in hospital a lot for prolonged periods . He never had any of those things and honestly didn't seem bothered . It was the strangest thing and I had to speak to the doctors privately because I was worried he would fit or something .

[Missingstreetlife]

Talking veterans of aa drinking to blackout, with sclerosis. Not saying people shouldn't be wary of cold turkey, but it doesn't happen to everyone.