Lazy? Ungrateful? I don't understand!

[worriedandanxious]

Long story short, I basically offered a friend (who is a single parent on benefits - child is older primary age) a very decently paid job with flexible hours and not much of a commute. Much more than she'd ever get from claiming anything, but it seemed like the realisation that she'd have to start paying her rent herself and loose CTC wasn't worth it, and she flat out refused. I really don't know why, when even after paying the bills she'd have more than she does now. Feeling pretty peed off at how dismissive she was about the job, even though it's the type of work she's done in the past and is more than capable of. Am I overreacting?

Asking her to become self-employed and be your cleaner was perhaps insensitive and inappropriate, and showed that you are a bit clumsy socially, but it could be forgiven. Maybe.
Taking umbrage and calling her lazy and ungrateful behind her back was awful. It makes you look as if you have a huge superiority complex.
Claiming that you offered her a job, as if it were a real job with a livable income, that she could pay her rent and feed her child with, is outrageous. I'm surprised this thread doesn't have more people on it telling you how far, far beyond unreasonable you are.