To expect a guy I've been chatting to online dating who lives an hour away and asks me out on a date should sugget a pub near me rather than

[Datingdilemashmm]

As title says I've been chatting to a guy online who asked me out and then said "how about we meet in x town as its roughly half way". I know I know, gender equality.. why should he drive to me but is chivalry /etiquette totally dead?! Hes an hour away and has suggested somewhere half way. I sort of would like a guy to offer to come my way and I choose a local pub. If he did offer / suggest I'd then say oh thank you, thats thoughtful but I dont mind meeting half way... I mean I'd at least like him to offer!

Or if i accepted then of course on Date two I'd then offer to go to his town.

I totally get equality etc and why should he come to me just cos hes the guy!.. but I just think on a first date a guy should be a gentleman and offer? What are your thoughts?

He seems a nice guy and im tempted to agree to his half way offer altho im disapointed!

I proposed. Just sayin’. LOL.

Have you been OLD long?

I did not read that as “Online Dating” lol

Just to add though. Chivalry had its place, but it doesn’t anymore. Way back, women didn’t earn their own money so could not have gone half’s, the man had the money and so he would do the paying. Times aren’t like this anymore, I would always offer to go half but would accept if they said no. If they think that means they will get something then more cool them. I’ve never really done online dating though and when I met my partner it was at someone’s house and we walked back to his. I don’t actually think I’ve ever went on a date but I would always offer to pay half.

Half way seems a good idea for the first date, if there is a second, him coming to you seems more reasonable but not for the first date no

YABU. If a man wanted to come all the way to me I’d feel under pressure to agree to a second date, I’d also wonder if he was expecting more than just a meal/drink.

Neutral ground is safer all round - fair on you both and no risk of anything being misinterpreted.

I’d expect to meet half way. It’s only 30 mins each way.

So, if you both drive I feel half way is more than reasonable if you don't drive and it's be difficult for you to get half way then I feel he should offer to come to you. Do remember though if this was to work out the distance would always be there so you'd need to be willing to travel some or all of the distance and possibly a lot of the time if your work hours etc are easy to do this.

Op, I’m so happy for you that this is all you have to worry about.

He’s suggesting half way but you want him to suggest to come to you so that you can then say half way....mental.

You sound like hard work

He said meet half way

You want him to say he will come to you and you say let’s meet half way

I agree with you. As someone else said, he might date a lot or have met a few women, and driving to each one might become a bit of a hassle but I agree it would nice and very gentlemanly if he’d offered to come to you.

I think it's fine to meet half way for the first date. If he'd suggested that you went to his town I'd think he was cheeky/lazy. When I was doing old I preferred not to meet them somewhere too familiar or close to home in case they turned out to be strange! You don't really know each other, messaging online isn't like talking to someone you've just met, you can't feel the chemistry properly. Meet up somewhere neutral this time and see what happens.

OP this is why you’re single. Sorry (not sorry) to be brutal but you’re setting performance levels without telling him the objectives he’s supposed to be meeting.

As others have said, you want him to offer to come to you so you can be magnanimous and say ‘no no, half way is fine’.

He’s either playing a straight bat and just thinking half way should be good for both of us. Or he’s going to think ‘well if she can’t be bothered to meet half way then she’s either not that keen or she’s going to be hard work’. (FYI you seem the latter).

YANBU. My DH drove 1.5hrs to have a first lunch date with me near to my home, He’s a gentleman through and through though. That’s why I married him

Chivalry is v important to me and I’m one of those ‘lame’ woman who enjoys being treated like a ‘princess’ .

Chivalry is v important to me and I’m one of those ‘lame’ woman who enjoys being treated like a ‘princess’

Right. So you don't believe in equality.

You sound like the kind of woman who wants equality when it suits her, but not when it means buying her own dinner, opening doors herself or standing on the train. I find it all a bit wet to be honest.

The thing with chivalrous gentleman, through and through and otherwise, is they seem to treat women as if they're some halfway staging post between children and adults. It's all a bit "women and children first" as if we've gone back in time 100 years and don't view women as full citizens. it's not for me.

Half way makes most sense - I think YABU

FFS. You're OLD, not just randomly meeting someone in a cafe and you're not sure if they're asking you out or not.

It's called online 'dating' because everyone on there intends to date. So asking what your schedule is is clearly with the intent to arrange a date.

Unless you're a Princess and expect men to ask you out in a specific way, travel to you etc.

Oh you are.