Was DH's GP BU?

[DialsMavis]

After quite a lot of discussion and research for years (DC are 15 & 8) DH had a GP appointment today to request a vasectomy refferal.

Thr GP agreed but said that DH should really consider asking me to look into getting the coil instead first.

DH is happy to get the snip as he agrees that I have done more than my fair share of the family planning for my entire adult life.

Was the GP U to bring this up?

Sounds very sensible. He only suggested to ask. I'd think the coil a sensible option to consider prior to vasectomy, even if ultimately you dismiss it.

Banana, why is a coil a sensible option?

Vasectomies are reversible.

Sounds like sexist twaddle to me, OP.

Sounds entirely reasonable that they ask both parties to explore all the options before taking a surgical route .

This is true and we have discussed all options for ages (hence the 8 year wait).

I guess I am looking to much into things and imagining a male conspiracy discussing invasive procedures for me behind my back rather than the GP listening to the wishes of a 43 year old father of 2 about his own body.

tbh I do see this as a sexist thing, that the woman is supposed to be in charge of contraception.

that said, it also might be cheaper for them to do a coil, I don't know. But it's really poor form, your DP wants a vasectomy, he should be able to make that choice!

It's cheaper, so they're happy for you to take the side effects and risks of hormonal contraception, in order to save the NHS a few quid.

He was entirely unreasonable.

Why is the woman’s healthcare even being discussed?

Vasectomies are reversible.

Are they?

I think the GP was BU.

Antigon

Believe me I'm no fan of the coil and wouldn't recommend it to anyone. To clarify its the Drs recommendation to consider it that is sensible.

The coil is semi-permanent whereas the vasectomy should be considered permanent. Additionally many women do get on with it.

If youre seeking a permanent surgical solution a doctor wouldn't be doing his job if he hadn't checked that you at least knew and considered all the non permanent options first.

Sadly, vasectomies aren't always reversible. I know of two cases where they weren't. IUDs are in and out in minutes. No comparison.

Not everything is a feminist issue.

It's probably because it's cheaper for the NHS. My husband has had one and they never questioned it.

Are they?

They are not.

@Thymeout agreed I always thought that it was made clearly that it was considered a permanent situation. Going into thinking it could be reversed is fool hardy to say the least!

@SpuriouserAndSpuriouser exactly I can't believe a PP said they were!

Totally agree with @BananaBonanza. If he'd refused that would be unreasonable but it's very sensible to ensure all options are known and have been considered before referring someone for a (usually) irreversible procedure.

He did only suggest it.

I think all GPs try to suggest an alternative to surgery if there is one.

I know that a lot of women are asked if their partners are willing to consider vasectomies if they go in to request sterilisation as it's less invasive.

Definitely BU. our docs was good and straight away referred my dh for a vasectomy after a few simple questions. However,when the day finally came and I dropped him off dh rang me shortly afterwards saying that the actual surgeon had DISSUADED him, telling him the gruesome procedure and all the bad sides to it?? WTF?? So he didn't get it done. It's obvious you have come to this agreement yourselves and looked into the choices. he needs to go back and clarify this is the route you want to go down.

Actually after reading @BananaBonanza very well put together post, I recall my he was BU and replace it with a NBU.

I have the coil, and apart from the first 3 months where my periods were erratic, I haven't had any issues with it at all.

If I did have issues, I could have it removed easily.

A vasectomy is invasive surgery. A proportion of those undergoing vasectomies will have ongoing complications, some for the rest of their lives. They are NOT reversible in the same way that a coil is. They can SOMETIMES be undone, but you can never go back to 'how it was before'. And the reversal procedure carries risks as well.

Tubal tying, although invasive, is less likely to have side effects compared to a vasectomy.

Now if it was a choice between me getting a hysterectomy and DH getting a vasectomy, I'd be booking him an appointment and telling him to get his arse down there.

It's all a matter of 'doing least harm'.

Did your dh not say yes very sensible and we have discussed and dismissed. Thank you. Next?

It’s not unreasonable to ask have you discussed all the options available. It’s unreasonable to ignore your husband if he responds in the affirmative.

I did think.it could be due to budget, but GPs seem so set on the coil for everyone. I dont want it!

I could also see the possible permanancy of vasectomy being an issue to raise if we were in our 20s or early 30s or had 1or 2 young kids.
But we are so far past the baby days now.

The coil isn't hormonal and is immediately reversible. Vasectomies, otoh, should not ever be considered reversible. Reversals are expensive and often fail.

He didn't say your DH couldn't have one. He took the perfectly reasonable step of checking if you'd considered a hormone-free, extremely reliable, long term but immediately reversible method first. That's only sense.

GP is very reasonable. Always check through any reversible options before going for (almost) irreversible ones.

I don't think your doctor was listening properly if your dh had already said I have considered this for 8 years and have explored all other options and I have decided on a vasectomy. Was he picking up on some reluctance from your dh?

If not, then yes the dr was being U, as you have already thought about this for years and years. I would find it a little patronising.