Was DH's GP BU?

[DialsMavis]

After quite a lot of discussion and research for years (DC are 15 & 8) DH had a GP appointment today to request a vasectomy refferal.

Thr GP agreed but said that DH should really consider asking me to look into getting the coil instead first.

DH is happy to get the snip as he agrees that I have done more than my fair share of the family planning for my entire adult life.

Was the GP U to bring this up?

I still he was being sexist. Why bring up the wife undergoing a procedure if the husband walked in asking for a procedure?? The couple likely has already made the decision to get the vasectomy. This is like when GPs override a woman's decision to get her tubes tied, sterilized, etc. It's like patting people on the head and saying they don't know any better.

The GP should check all alternatives have been explored and rejected, including condoms. To go straight to a coil is sexist

So if the OP had been requesting female sterilisation and the GP had suggested her husband use non-permanent contraception instead (condoms), would that have been sexist?

All doctors are legally and ethically obliged to ensure that patients have considered all the implications of any treatment, including any alternatives. Vasectomy is permanent removal of fertility: it is a huge decision that should never be taken without a full discussion of all possible alternatives. The OP's husband may have considered all implications & alternatives carefully, but not all patients have done so at the time they request it. Many also believe that it is reversible when, in fact, this is only true for a minority and not available on the NHS.

This thread is a perfect example of why I would never encourage any young person to go into medicine. The GP did exactly what all the guidelines say s/he should do, to support the patient to make an informed choice before making a life-altering decision. And gets slagged off for it

And everyone thinks that they have definitely made their mind up at the time they have a vasectomy - or they wouldn't get it done - yet thousands are reversed each year. Who do you think is having the reversals? It's all men who thought they were 100% sure, yet changed their minds.

"It's all men who thought they were 100% sure, yet changed their minds."

Wonder how many of them have also changed partners?

Ive not heard the phrase "slagged off" for ages

One thing no one seems to have been considered is vasectomy is likely to be 100% effective (once you get all clear) whereas coil can fail.

I have 3 DCs because coil was recommended instead of a permanent solution! DC2 was extremely traumatic/dangerous birth, and we knew we didn’t want any more. GP was reluctant to refer for vasectomy/sterilisation and recommended coil instead as I can’t use hormonal contraceptives.

Funnily enough though, once I got pregnant with a coil in situ, they were then quite happy to refer me for sterilisation!

If I got pregnant it would be a disaster.

How does the cost of a vasectomy stack up against a termination?

I think perfectly acceptable to make sure that an informed choice is being made - one where people are aware of possible alternatives. Its not like the GP said no won't refer, tell your wife to have the coil.

(and I mean the sort of problem that make most people's coil complaints look like a holiday).

Like the people who have got pregnant on the coil (there's someone on here who did and had to go through a traumatic 2nd trimester termination), the poster on here who's coil went missing and she's facing an op that may leave her infertile, like the legion on here who have experienced absolutely dire side effects from the coil and are fobbed off when they want it out?

Give me a break!

He wasn’t giving an ultimatum, but checking that other options have been explored. It’s quite hard for a woman to get sterilised, and I’m sure in a consultation they would see if other alternatives had been explored to make sure it was the right choice.

The amount of people I see with vasectomies they end regretting further down the line and reversals failing I would imagine he was just checking you had considered all options

"but checking that other options have been explored. "

If a man wants to put an end to his own fertility though, there are no other options!

If a man wants to put an end to his own fertility though, there are no other options!

Most men asking a for vasectomy dont really want that though. They want to have sex with their DW or DP without worrying about condoms or unwanted pregnancy or their wife having to worry about contraceptive, especially hormonal.

Ending their own fertility is just a side effect. It becomes a regrettable one if they end up with a new partner who wants kids.