... to override my sons's list of who to invite to his party??

[QwertyLou]

DS is turning 4 soon so party prep is underway. I printed invitations and was going to slip them in the kids' book bags (4-5 kids, his closest friends). There was an invite waiting in my sons' locker, for a party the weekend before his (whole class is invited).

normally I would just print an extra invite for this other child too. But I now realise that she is the only one (out of 23) that my son does not like! ("She hits people"). Son does not want to extend the invitation but I still feel like we should... AIBU?

Other dilemma is that my son really wants to invite (made up names)... Mr Tom, Mrs Lee, Mr Rob, Miss Clare and Mr Ben!! (his teachers, whom he adores)

Mr Tom is one of the invited kid's dads so he is coming. Mrs Lee is this other party child's mom so if we DO invite other child, she will come.

But as for the rest.. I think inviting them might be inappropriate (?). I know they are fond of DS (he's "so happy and easy" a few have said) BUT they're around these kids all week. I am sure they don't want to spend two hours on a Saturday with them.

Educators of Mumsnet, do you agree?? When kids invite you to their parties, do you inwardly groan or just smile and politely decline (or accept)?? I'm inclined to override DS and not invite them... AIBU?

When I turned 5 I really wanted to invite my class teacher to my birthday party. My mum, a teacher herself, knew that was a really bad idea. She told my teacher about it who apparently thought it was really sweet (she was an NQT, her opinion might have changed after a few years) and offered to come round for a slice of cake on another day. I was thrilled and it made my day. That being said I wouldn't actually invite your son's teachers!

I think it's odd going to someone's party who you don't like because they hit people

Is one of the teachers she wants to invite the parent of the girl whose party her son is going to but isn’t inviting to his???!
I missed that detail. Of course the mum isn’t going to turn up to one of her child’s peers parties without her child. What a ludicrous suggestion 😂
Op if this child is good enough for your ds to go to her party he should invite her to his. If he really doesn’t want her at his party then he has no business attending hers. Would you go to a dinner party of people you work with who you didn’t really like Them host your own party a week later and invite others from your office but not the people whose party you attended (or maybe just invite your boss who is one of their parents!)?

Of course he will be entertained by the other kids at the party. You are pretending your child is someone’s friend so you can get in on their birthday celebration because it will be fun. Can you not see that’s really rude and unkind?

I only ever invited the children my DC wanted at their parties. Never did whole class party nonsense.

@BumsexAtTheBingo
Of course he will be entertained by the other kids at the party. You are pretending your child is someone’s friend so you can get in on their birthday celebration because it will be fun. Can you not see that’s really rude and unkind?

No one's pretending anything. The invitation was extended to all classmates, not to particular friends. To me it would be rude and unkind not to go, absent a valid reason (and on further investigation there isn't one). If many in the class were going it wouldn't matter as much, but only one or two are going.

My son went through a brief hitting stage last year. If people had boycotted his party due to that he would have been devastated. As I said, the little girl has never hit my son, he is not scared of her in any way.

And of course Mrs Lee would only attend if her daughter does, I thought that was obvious. Invitation would be addressed to daughter, mum and siblings would be implicitly included.

Teachers do not go to children's parties. That's just really weird and unprofessional, imho.

Definitely that seems to be the case in the UK (exhibit A: this thread).

Less so elsewhere. Some of my teachers were nuns (nice ones) and they not only came to parties but for Sunday dinner sometimes.

But at kids parties adults are specifically catered for with good food and wine, so its a bit different.