Dp "pushing" me.

[Lovethetimeyouhave]

Last night was an absolute waste of an evening.

On a Friday we play a game together, loser cooks for the following week... I won't say as it's outing. Usually it's evenly matched, we have a few drinks and some fun. I'm generally a quiet person.

Last week I was so far behind I conceded and didn't play the last game.

Well, dp was so upset last night he went over and over it saying "It's not fair to concede, why did you do that?" No matter what I said, he wouldn't stop. I even agreed, to stop him, but that led on to "You didn't play well enough" "You didn't drink enough, you were playing games so I drank and got drunk so you could win!!!!!!"

For one that has never happened, but if I don't want to drink anymore for whatever reason this is apparently me playing games. I wouldn't even think to play a stupid game and try and win like that. He thinks I do and no saying otherwise would stop him.

Then it was that I don't talk enough, by this point it had been 2 hours of endless going on and on and I cried, I know I'm quiet, it's been my whole life and it bothers me, but someone having a go at me for being quiet makes me more quiet! It's just the way I am. I don't say much, plus the conversations are only around his topics, if I do speak about something he just grunts and says "Have you not got anything original to say?" (Like an idea about the universe).

After this comment I went to bed, put on a documentary. After 20 minutes he comes through! Talk talk talk, now it's about my job.

I work from home, I home school and I do EVERYTHING in the home.

Now about my job, he found me this job apparently (he didnt) and It's thanks to him I have it. I need to aim higher now and work harder to make more money. I need to study more to make myself more desirable and on and on and on. When asked why he's going on "I'm trying to help you, to change you, do you not want to make more money?"

He spoke for over another hour, on and on. I was so furious I didn't say barely anything.

I'm regularly told that I do nothing w9th my life, I'm sorry, I spend my time raising Ds, he does nothing for Ds, won't even bath him. I school Ds, he never puts any input in, if he is home from work he will leave me balancing schooling we and working and won't help. I clean everything. He just complains he can't find clothes and regularly has tantrums in the morning throwing stuff around.
I work from home. He says it's not enough, I need to make it turn into something. And he has a hobby he's getting recognition for as I do EVERYTHING so he spends his time doing it.

When I cook I'm met with "tut I don't want that"

And I've been doing the job a year, got good at it, raised my prices twice now.

My aibu is is this enough reason yo consider leaving? I'm exhausted and fed up. I feel miserable this morning.

Wow OP.
This is man is a vile, abusive bully.
Something I believe you've now realised.
If you need any further confirmation on just how abusive he is, then please call Womens Aid. They can help you to see this for what it is.

In the meantime please read; Why does he do that? By Lundy Bancroft.
You will find you abusive 'D'P in there.

This man in an awful role model for your DS.
Your DS even prefers it when he is not there.

What does separation look like?
Is the house mortgaged or rented?
Is it in joint names?
Womens Aid can also help you with an exit plan so please keep trying them until you get through.

You are now realising that this is no life.
And you KNOW you deserve far better.

Please gather your strength and leave this abusive man. You have done it before, you can do it again. Start today.

Get advice on how to leave and your legal rights. Even see a solicitor or two for initial chats. Find out what you are entitled to.
Is there a specific reason your son is home schooled? Would you like him to be in school? Would he like to be in school?
And generally get your ducks in a row.

He's awful - it's not you it's him.

wow OP, so sorry you are going through this.

Given you are capable enough to be earning money while home edding and doing all the housework, and you've already had the strength to leave once, I think you'll be not only fine away from this man but you will know that you are giving DS a happier environment

What he said to his dad is so telling. Keep that at the forefront of your mind when you need strength. As others have said, you both deserve so much better

Leavem yes, although it may be appropriate for him to move out.

Are you married?

Is your home owned jointly?

He is abusive and controlling. You home school and do everything in the home and you run a business, you sound like an amazing woman. He sounds like a controlling jerk.

Please see a solicitor and get your ducks in a row before you show your hand.

I’ve been where you are. It’s mad whilst you’re in it, because you spend so long putting out little fires (these constant, unfounded criticisms) that you can’t see the bigger picture, which is basically you’re living in a burnt out house.

Listen to all these women. He won’t get better. You said it feels like he hates you. He probably does.

It’s really hard but you’ve done it before & can do it again. Good luck x

You need to leave, if not for you, for your DS.

My husband was like that, lovely some of the time but very dark some of the time. He used to call me a loser, an idiot, tell me I'd be nothing without him (which is shit as I have a good job and manage perfectly well) and I could see it was impacting our DS so when DS was 11 I left. I looked at his face one day screwed up in anger and misery and I snapped, told him I was leaving. I said I would go the next day and he looked at me and then DS and said "No you can fuck off now and you can take him with you". So we went, with nothing but my handbag.
I won't lie, it's been hard, so hard even now 4 years down the line but I know it was for the best. Ironically we have a good friendship now and he has apologised for being a bully and admitted I've coped far better than he has and I know he still loves me, as i do him, but I would never go back there. However, it has left me with massive issues as to why I let him treat me that way and why my boundaries are so low. Don't be me OP, nip it in the bud, it's no way to live.

Or to put it another way: you are a terrible person and don't deserve such a wonderful partner. Set him free to be happy with someone else

OP, I think your partner may be my ex!
The constant belittling...the pointless arguments....the repetition. If I responded, he'd say, Aha, the truth hurts doesn't it!
If I ignored him, he'd say Aha, you have nothing to say have you!
I couldn't win.
He'd complain about my family talking to me, my sister phoning too often, my laugh, my handwriting, my ironing, anything.
He was having an affair. And seemed to hate me, yet was livid when I left. Women's Aid helped me understand what was going on.
Plan your exit. I didn't, and he got almost everything I had in the world.

He sounds like an asshole & not much cop of a parent or partner!

Oh fuck that for a lark. Get rid OP they never get better and you can DO so much better.

Is this the same guy who was waxing lyrical about the mysteries of the universe while you were trying to load the washing machine? He was a cockwomble then and hes even worse now, do yourself a favour and lose one exhausting job from your life!

Bloody hell he sounds absolutely awful

He is absolutely awful. I'm so fed up with putting up with it. I hate it. I'm so depressed, we is up now, he is homeschooled because of the area we live in, it's not the best by a long shot!

And today.... he's sending vile porn through of things he likes. Acting like he's so fucking nice

he's sending vile porn through of things he likes. Acting like he's so fucking nice

Nope, just nope.
Tell him straight to stop it, if he doesn't, block the prick.

You need to leave but that's easier said than done.

Misses the point probably - but how can you home school & work at the same time?

It's desperately hard to leave when you have small children, because you feel vulnerable and like you'll never survive on your own. But OH! the relief when you're finally on your own...

Well it gets even rosier. We has come and said that after I fell asleep dp was complaining to Ds about me. Moaning about me to Ds and being horrible. It really is the end. Who does that to a 6 year old child! Who!

You need to start thinking of the practicalities so you know your options. So I assume you are not married. Work out what your income would be on your own including child support. Hopefully he is an employee not self employed to make that easier.

Would you have enough to rent somewhere with a decent school, you could earn more if not home schooling.

Someone who doesn’t care about anyone but themselves.

So what are you going to do about it?

Am I the only reader intrigued what on earth this game could be?

Is it a video game? A board game? A drinking game?

So confused

So points
Your hubby is an abusove twat and you already know you need to leave

I’m concerned that you work full time, more hours than hubby and claim to be home schooling. In the nicest possible way-Please get your child into school. You can’t possibly be offering him the best start in life if you don’t have the time to educate him

No relationship should be this much hard work. There is also a huge difference between encouraging you and supporting you, and using you as if you were a work horse.

So he is sexually abusive too. And emotionally abusive to your DC.