David Sedaris signing WHORE in MN poster's book

[TeachesOfPeaches]

He talks about this incident in the new Adam Buxton podcast episode 79.

Provides a bit more context as to why he does this and the other outrageous things he has written/drawn at book signings.

I now think the OP was being unreasonable as this seems to be part and parcel of being a fan of his.

[AtrociousCircumstance]

I'm fucking sick of misogynists hiding in plain sight and sqealing that women are spoilsports and precious and too stupid to see the inherent wit and searing irony when men put them down again.

This ^

[SalemBlackCat4]

" I think there's a good chance that you're the sort of people he's laughing at and I'm laughing along with him."

Charming. Says it all, really. And it has only been recently that people have used the words whore, slut, tarty, bitch etc as 'jokes'. So it is those that are using them that are pushing it on us to make it a thing. Not those of us who say how disgusting it is. Also, they may be common in gay circles, but like with POC they call themselves the N word, but I doubt one of them would write the N word in the book of white person or in the case of the MNetter, a hetero person. So your analogy doesn't compute because the original MNetter wasn't gay.

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

salem but you didn't correct me! I didn't even say anything about the stupid list because I don't care about it! Happy to be corrected in any matter, but you do come across as rather smug when you say things like 'if you understood the industry'.

I mean, I'm a teacher. If I said 'if you understood education' wouldn't you think 'wow, what a patronising twat'? Or would you sit, starry eyed (lol) fan girling (double lol) at my wonderful knowledge that I've accrued?

[AuntBeastie]

Help me understand where I’m misreading you here?

Because you’re extrapolating from the specific individual and circumstance I am talking about here and using that to draw a conclusion about men generally, conveniently ignoring the fact that I referred to DS using that word in solidarity with women AGAINST straight men (the common oppressor of both).

HTH.

[Antigon]

David Sedaris is gay. It's v common for gay men to use the words 'tart', 'whore', 'bitch' in relation to themselves or others. It's often done affectionately.

Doesn't make it right though. So you think gay men can't be miaigybiat? That's unutterably naive.

Funny how DS's fans are happy for him to call them 'whores', 'tarts' and 'bitches' but are up in arms for being called 'groupies' and 'fangirls' on this thread. 😂

[AuntBeastie]

salem has gone very quiet regarding me calling her out for her own misogynistic language. Just pointing that out.

[Antigon]

I referred to DS using that word in solidarity with women AGAINST straight men (the common oppressor of both).

How does it show solidarity Aubt Beastie?

I consider myself to Veblen staunchly anti-racist. Does that mean I can go around calling black people the 'n' word because I want to help them reclaim the word?

[WomanOfTime]

David Sedaris is gay. It's v common for gay men to use the words 'tart', 'whore', 'bitch' in relation to themselves or others. It's often done affectionately. I know heterosexual couples where 'slutty' or 'tarty' is used as a compliment. Can't stand this new puritanism by the language police supposedly in the cause of feminism.

You don't see a difference between using these words in an affectionate or complimentary way about a partner who presumably is happy with the use of them, and writing them in a book that belongs to a stranger?

If anyone, male or female, gay or straight, called me a bitch, whore or tart I'd be offended. They are offensive, misogynistic words. That some people decide to use them in another way with a partner or close friend doesn't make it okay to say them to someone you don't know.

[AuntBeastie]

Funny how DS's fans are happy for him to call them 'whores', 'tarts' and 'bitches' but are up in arms for being called 'groupies' and 'fangirls' on this thread.

Not up in arms - just pointing out the hypocrisy. And in any case, I would rather affectionately be called a whore by DS than have the word ‘groupie’ patronisingly spat at me by someone who thinks that because I admire David Sedaris I can’t think for myself.

[Antigon]

salem has gone very quiet regarding me calling her out for her own misogynistic language. Just pointing that out.

How pathetic. She last posted at 10.23 so 12 minutes ago. She doesn't have to be glued to her keyboard you know 🙄

[SalemBlackCat4]

ThisIsTheFirstStep

You didn't even say anything about the list? ThisIsTheFirstStep Wed 17-Oct-18 09:38:03
salem it's easy to get on the NYT best seller list? Hardly. Whatever you think of him, you can hardly claim he's not a successful author, he's one of the most successful contemporary authors.

All I did, all I did was explain how it happens. That's all. Nothing more.
Nothing less. I was not trying to be patronising. I was not trying to show off. I was not 'desperate' to prove I knew about it. That is your interpretation. I simply posted because another poster mentioned it, I said it was easy to get on there, you then said it wasn't. Hence, my comment. You over-reacted and were hostile to me from there. All because I explained something. If I knew you were going to get so upset I wouldn't have bothered to explain at all.

[AuntBeastie]

Antigon

Refer back to my previous point where I explained my view on that.

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

aunt Yes, very curious.

Belittling women seems to be her thing, you'd think she'd be all over 'whore'. Oh but that's uncouth. She just prefers the patronising 'you're below me' middle class type insults instead so no one really notices that she's being equally horrible as anyone using the word 'whore'.

[AngryAttackKittens]

Gotta say, if a famous (male, gay) author whose work I admired called me a whore a warm fuzzy feeling of bonding over our shared oppression at the hands of straight men is not what I would be experiencing.

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

salem just be quiet about the list ffs, no one cares.

[AuntBeastie]

She doesn't have to be glued to her keyboard you know 🙄

And yet she clearly is, because she’s posted several times since then.

[SalemBlackCat4]

Anyway, I am out. I don't need to be patronised and abused simply because I decided to give people on here some info about something I knew about. It was simply a general bit of knowledge I picked up, I meant nothing by it. But as that saying I posted goes, some will resent you and get snarky and hostile if they are told something they didn't know. The choice is how you take it. Not me. Find someone else to be your verbal punching bag. See yous all.

[AngryAttackKittens]

On that note - as the gothest goth kid who ever gothed I once went to a Clive Barker signing. He did not call me a whore, or write any other insults in my book. Instead he gave me some useful advice.

That's how you deal with fans, Sedaris.

[Antigon]

Not up in arms - just pointing out the hypocrisy. And in any case, I would rather affectionately be called a whore by DS than have the word ‘groupie’ patronisingly spat at me by someone who thinks that because I admire David Sedaris I can’t think for myself.

Groupie could be considered apt. You're ok with him calling you a whore. Which is worse than being called a groupie.

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

angry agreed. But at the same time, it seems to be pretty common among my gay friends. Personally, I think it really depends on the context.

Getting called a cheeky whore because you stole someone's last sweety is quite different to a famous author writing whore in a book. Some people might still dislike it, at which point they can say 'please don't call me a whore' and move on with their day imo. If the person continues to use the word, it's time to ditch that person. Some people are pricks. That's life.

I don't think there's ever one answer.

[thebeautifullisette]

It’s fine if you don’t want to use these words that way yourself, but you don’t get to pretend that everyone uses language the same way you do and then claim to be offended by them.

Sorry but that's fucking hilarious. We might as well all stop buying dictionaries then I guess. Whore.

[AuntBeastie]

And now, it seems, she’s never going to respond. That’s very telling.

[Antigon]

And yet she clearly is, because she’s posted several times since then.

First you complain she was quiet , now that she's posted several times - make up your mind FFS!

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

aunt yup, off she goes, unable to answer the hard questions.

antigon well, it's not really on is it, to complain about misogynistic language and then call someone a groupie and a fangirl and starry eyed?

It just comes across as rather priggish, as if being dismissive of women is a-ok but using naughty words like whore is crossing a line.

[ThisIsTheFirstStep]

antigon because she didn't respond to a very pertinent point.

She responded to other things (mainly about lists), but she wouldn't respond to claims about her own misogynistic language.